Prey To My Own Desires

I was laying in bed on a Shared Doc that my friend and I were working on. It was an erotic story that followed the sexual escapades of Luke and Lacy that we started writing years ago, just after I'd moved to Europe. We started writing it when my friend, Allee had shared it with me just asking for feedback. I was stunned because we were "just friends," and I never expected in a million years that she indulged in this kind of extracurricular.

I guess space and distance gave her the courage to share this side of herself with me. I loved it of course and before I knew what was happening we were writing the story together. She maintained that the writing wasn't sexual, but I readily admitted that the whole thing was extremely arousing to me. I even admitted to her that my masturbation sessions had become totally reliant upon the story we were working on. I practically stopped watching porn because of our collaboration. She giggled and laughed me off, and it seemed to me that she genuinely viewed our story independently of her own sexuality, as if she'd tucked it into some secret compartment that was separate from her.

Allee had no idea that while I wrote on the Doc, during which, oftentimes, we would both be on the Doc simultaneously, I was dressed up like a horny little sissy slut.

I am a crossdresser. Actually, I'm really a sissy. I shave my body, paint my nails and toes, wear slutty lingerie, panties, put makeup on, and sometimes even wear a wig. Oh, and I love stilettos. I've sucked several cocks over the past 10 years and I've never told anyone I know personally about any of it. I never told Allee.

I was not shy about telling Allee anything else. In our story, everything was on the table. The story was kind of like having sex in real life. When you first start having sex with a new partner, you have this back and forth where you try and figure out what your partner likes and you give that to them and they try and figure out what you like and they give that to you and you keep doing that until you both know what the other likes. Our story was like this, but neither she nor I restrained ourselves. She would surprise me with some wild scenario for Luke and Lacy, either together or individually to engage in, and that would allow me to reveal some kinky scenario for them to play out.

For me, they were actual fantasies. Submissive male, crossdressing, feminization, humiliation, exhibitionism, or whatever came to mind, I never hesitated. For her, she claimed they were not "her" fantasies, just "experiments." This allowed me to play it off likewise and I could easily make like I was just "experimenting," and that these weren't actual fantasies for me either.

But really, I was laying back in bed, with my laptop on my smoothly shaven legs encased in Wolford stockings, wearing pink satin panties and chemise.

Over the years, her kids had grown up and were getting ready for university, I'd had a kid, gotten married, and eventually divorced, and time went by. The time we spent writing was few and far between but we would occasionally add to the story. It was up to around 300 pages, mind you, that was over a 12 year span. I rarely had time alone with my kids, but once or twice a year they would go on holiday with the ex and I'd have a whole week to myself. It was in these moments of independence that I wrote in our story.

I treated it like a date, lol. I would go into Prague and purchase a new outfit, depilatory cream, some lipstick, and nail polish. I'd long gotten rid of my wig and heels, but everything else was on the table. Then I'd get home, light candles, put on some Coltrane, pour a drink, smoke a joint and perform my ablutions. This was foreplay.

I'd work on the story all day and night. I would be in a constant state of arousal and inebriation. I would never touch my clit. Oh, I would rub it through my satin panties, insert my vibrating plug in my pussy, and between the crossdressing, alcohol and weed, and writing for Allee, I was practically hallucinating in my frenzy.

It was during one of these long weekends that a message came up on the Doc.

Allee [I know what you are Oberon]

Me [Allee?]

Allee [Are your panties wet?]

I was stunned, but also I couldn't believe it. I wanted to tell Allee everything. Did she know? How?

Me [What?? I'm just writing, what are you doing?]

Allee [Taste your precum O (that was her nickname for me)]

Me [Allee!?! I told you those things are just wild imaginings!]

Allee [If you want to live out your wildest fantasies, go to the Gallerie at Masarykovo at noon tomorrow. Go to the spa on the basement level and ask for Eva.]

Me [I don't really want to do the things I write about Allee, you know that!]

Nothing....

She seemed to have signed out of the doc. My panties were wet and I took them off and sucked on the precum that saturated the front panel.

After orgasming in my panties and then using my mouth to clean them I got a message on WhatsApp.

Unknown [Here's your gift card sissy. Enjoy!]

I tried to reply but no one ever responded back.

I sent Allee an email, tried her on FB but she didn't reply. I lay in bed thinking about whether or not I should go. Should I wear panties? Yes, panties, and my Wolford sheer-to-waist nudes. I resolved to go.

I was certain Allee had somehow found me out. It wasn't a completely blind date. I had done the anonymous Craigslist thing with strange men and that was nerve-racking. This was a "sponsored" event, and Allee wouldn't do anything to hurt me.

I slept like a baby, got up, showered, cleaned up any stray hairs, put on my panties and stockings, and caught the train to Prague. I smoked a joint on my way from the station to the Gallerie at Masarykovo and walked around the mall for a while gathering up my courage.

I was hungry and went to the top floor for a light lunch. After lunch I was heading to the escalator and was checking out one of those pop-up promotional displays for VR and one of the sales girls holding a pair of VR goggles was smiling at me. She was sexy in a strange way, I suspected her of being a very feminine man dressed very convincingly. This disarmed me immediately and I played along.

She led me to a recliner, put headphones and goggles on, and told me to relax.

I never fall for these things. I never even let the ladies in department stores try to sell me perfume or jewelry. I always avoid them, but I was sure this woman was a gay man and she was friendly, warm, and funny, so I settled back in the recliner and waited for the screen to come on.

Before any visuals, the recliner started to hum and seemed to warm up. Over the speakers in my headphones, I heard a woman's voice, "Hello O, we know what you really are."

I threw off the headphones and goggles and the woman was standing over me. "Put them back on Oberon," she said. "Unless you want me to put up your show onto the big screen over there," and she pointed to the corner where a giant screen was showing a commercial for VR.

It flashed for less than a second and I recognized a photo that only I had ever seen. One that I'd taken, one of probably thousands of photos that I'd saved over the years of my crossdressing exploits. Then it returned to the commercial for VR. I scanned around and no one seemed to have noticed and then I stared at the woman above me.

"Everything's ok O," she said. I felt her hand reach between my legs and she rubbed my thigh, sliding discretely back and forth between it and my crotch. "You know you want this O, don't fight it."

She placed the headphones and goggles back on me.

In full VR was a slide show of my photos. Photos I'd never shared with anyone. Then I heard the woman's voice, "Relax and lay back Oberon. Watch yourself, look at yourself, and let yourself go. Let yourself become a woman."

I slipped off my goggles and scanned around the room, made sure that I wasn't being broadcast to the entire top floor of the Gallerie and then looked up into the woman's eyes who was standing over me smiling warmly.

She put her hand into my pants and cupped my shaven clit and pussy in her fingers and rubbed and squeezed me. Each VR recliner was in its own little pod and unless someone was directly in front of the pod, everything was shielded from view.

"Don't worry O," she said. "As long as you play nice, you have nothing to fear. We won't broadcast anything you're watching. Just enjoy this. Let go. Any actual control you think you may have right now is an illusion."

She was so sweet-looking. She was clearly a he from this proximity. She was a sissy.

"Do you want to take your pants down?" she asked. "No one will know it's you, not with the headphones and goggles shrouding your appearance. We won't broadcast you, you can let your real you out for the few people who might come close enough, but they won't know."

She was very convincing, but I hesitated.

"Don't worry O," she said. "In time, and if you're a good girl, I might even let you put my soft and limp clit in your mouth, wouldn't that be nice?"

Before I could think, let alone speak, she told me to put my goggles back on.

I watched the slideshow of all the photos I'd ever taken of myself. Some, I'd not seen or had long since deleted and hardly recognized them except that I knew the outfits were mine and my face.

"Isn't it nice to let the world know who and what you are O?" the voice in the headphones spoke. "You look so sexy and sweet in your pink panties. Wouldn't it be nice to suck on Eva's limp smooth clitty? I bet you could fit her clit and smooth balls in your mouth at one time."

I could feel the sales girl open my pants and unzip them. She pulled them down and then slid them off and I felt the cool air of the mall rush over my hot nylon-encased legs.

"Don't worry Oberon," the voice in the headphones continued. They must be watching me. "No one has been walking close enough to you. Although, if they do, we'll do our best to guide them to their own VR pod, or distract them until they leave the vicinity. You look very sweet and sexy in those, are those Wolfords? You have excellent taste in lingerie sissy girl. Does Eva's hand feel good on your panties? Are you getting wet yet?"

The reality was that I was limp and soft as ever, but my mind was hard as steel. The conflicting emotions and feelings were heightening my arousal. I spread my legs and opened them up for Eva. She slapped me and dragged her nails over every satiny surface. She was persistent and I opened my legs so she could slap my pussy (I call my balls my pussy because when they're shaved and squeezed into my pink panties they have feel like a camel toed woman's pussy. Fleshy and fat edges with a smooth and tight centerline.

Inside the VR goggles, I was watching photos of myself in my 30s. I knew it was from this time of my life because I had developed the ability to suck my own cock and these photos were from that era of my life. Photos of my face freshly ejaculated upon, my mouth full of my own sperm, and one particular photo that I knew well because in it, I have the entire tip and part of my shaft all the way in my mouth.

All the while the woman seemed to be hypnotizing me. "You look like you really love that cock O. You can have all the cock your heart desires today O. We'll make sure to capture it all on film for you so you can masturbate to them whenever you want. We have all kinds of girls like you who want to give you their sperm. Eva can orgasm without touching her clit, she doesn't even get hard. She just slowly secretes sperm in a slowly spurting flow and all you have to do is attach your lips to her tip and let her spill herself into your mouth.

My clit was sticking straight up and tenting my pink panties and I felt Eva's hand lightly grip me and twist the satin and nylon in a perfect blend of pressure and texture as she pulled upwardly with one hand and slapped my pussy with the tips of her fingers from her other hand.

"Open up sweet girl," the voice continued. "Open up and let yourself go, It's ok to moan, the pods are acoustically sound and will restrict your sissy sighs from escaping. Only Eva will know, and the camera that we are filming you with. I know sweety, I know, let it go, let yourself go."

I moaned and let go. I let go and let loose a soothing and lovely moan from deep inside me. "I am a woman," I said aloud. "I love being a woman."

"Good girl O," the voice responded. "Now it's time to wind down and begin to come back to earth. We are in a mall afterall, and don't worry, don't get scared, no one has seen you, and no one suspects a thing. You've been a very good girl and I'm very proud of you. Do you want to suck on Eva's clit? If you do whisper it so Eva can hear you."

"I want to suckle on your clit," I said. "I want your clit and pussy in my wet mouth Eva, can I please, please put your clit and pussy in my mouth?"

"Of course Oberon," it was Eva. She had taken off my headphones and was kissing my ear and whispering sweet things, breathing her warm exhales down my ear canal and licking behind my ears. I felt her using her finger and thumb to squeeze my clit. She was really squeezing me and I felt my sperm moving up and out the tiny hole on my tip. "I'm going to slip my fingertips into your pink panties and gather your sperm so you can taste yourself. Do you want to taste your cum Oberon?"

"Yes," I sighed. "Please feed me my sperm Eva."

She put the headphones back on my head and fed me my sperm.

"Good sissy girl," the voice continued. "Now I don't want to scare you, but Eva's going to pull your pants back on and get you ready for the next phase of your afternoon. Don't be alarmed," she said.

I felt my pants and their restrictions. I felt her snap them closed, zip them, and then I felt her straightening my outer manly clothing.

"Good girl," the voice continued. "If you're ready, you can make your way down to the basement level and to the spa. One more thing before you go, I'm going to put our operator on and you can make your payment automatically, all you need to do is click accept and we'll deduct twenty thousand from your account."

I tore off my goggles and headphones. I was terrified.

"Wait," I'm sorry Eva, I was told this was covered by the gift card."

Eva looked at me sadly. "That was your free 30 minutes Oberon. If you agree we'll send you right downstairs. Do you accept? Say you accept and we'll transfer your funds."

I was astonished. "No," I said. "I don't agree."

Just then, on the big screen in the corner, the video of me only seconds earlier with Eva's cum-covered fingers stuffing my mouth flashed for a full five seconds. I looked around but no one was watching it.

"Just accept the charges and you can resume your life as a woman down in our spa," Eva said.

"Wait," I begged. "I don't have twenty thousand to spend on this. I have kids, I have a house, that would break my account."

On the screen photos of me sucking my own cock, my face coated in sperm flashed for another full five seconds with an audible and very loud audible track of me moaning at the very end of the clip and I saw several heads at the food court turn to see what the commotion was and where it was coming from. By the time they'd all turned to see what it was the images were gone and the commercial for VR had returned.

"Shall we accept the charges Oberon," Eva said.

"Jesus," I was distraught. Twenty was all I had left in my account. In Czech kroner that's not a lot of money, but it is everything I had and I knew Christmas was coming up soon and I couldn't afford to throw it all away on my own silly fetish. "NO!" I shouted. And I stood up and started walking away.

Behind me I heard myself moaning. I turned and saw myself spread wide open, VR goggles on, headphones on, and Eva pulling on my clit through my panties. I reasoned that anyone watching, and it was the entire food court, couldn't identify the degenerate crossdresser on-screen and being Prague, no one I knew was in the mall, so I turned quickly and scurried down the escalator to the sounds of my moaning sighs spilling throughout the mall after me.

Half-way down the escalator, I could hear the VR commercial had resumed on-screen, but I could also hear the crowd of people talking, some laughing, some sounds of exasperation and disgust, and by the time I got to the next level's escalator it seemed to have calmed down. Plus, I'd put enough distance between myself and the top floor that I wasn't drawing any attention and it appeared that I'd gotten away scott-free. My heart was pounding. My head was swimming. My arousal was piqued. Despite all of it, I was aroused. I knew I'd have to go home and masturbate thinking about the experience.

I went down another flight of escalators and walked over to Starbucks to use their wifi. I was just another anonymous shopper at the mall by then and needed a cup of tea to calm down anyway so after getting my tea, I found a quiet table back in the corner and checked my SM and emails just to make sure none of this had somehow gotten out.

I was still freaking out but after checking all my platforms everything appeared to be ok. I refreshed my email and the subject line, "Secure your video now" caught my eye.

"Hi O,

If you'd like to secure your video experience at our VR Experience and keep it safe from prying eyes click ACCEPT now and we'll transfer 1000 kroner from your account. Clicking ACCEPT will grant you full ownership of all content captured at our VR Experience and ensure nothing escapes your ownership.

Your VR Experience Team"

I thought about it. I couldn't risk anything getting out, reasoned that a thousand kroner isn't so bad, plus I'd have another video for my collection to masturbate to whenever I wanted. I clicked ACCEPT.

I downloaded the content, a video, audio, and jpegs.

I was thumbing through the images and they were very revealing. I looked so sexy. Eva was so sexy too. I started getting turned on. Being a Sunday afternoon, not many people were in the mall and only a couple people were in the cafe, and they were out on the patio, I was the only one in the back corner of the actual cafe. I watched the video on mute and in my peripheral I felt a couple sit down at a nearby table. I pretended to be engrossed in something important and didn't pay them any mind.

"Oh Oberon," I jerked up and realized the couple was Eva and another woman. The voice was the woman's. "You can't help yourself can you honey?" she said.

"Look," I said. "I'm sorry, I told you I don't have that kind of money to waste. I have kids. A home. That's over a month's food and rent."

They both stood and walked over to my table, "Do you mind?" the woman asked. "C'mon Eva, sit next to Oberon. Slide over Oberon, and let Eva sit next to you." The woman sat across from us. Eva put her hand in my lap.

"Oberon," she began. "I want you to pull your pants down and drop them to your ankles so you can open your knees. Eva, you can simply open your legs and hike your skirt up over your hips. Oberon, you can reach over and pet Eva's pussy through her panties, and Eva you can do the same to Oberon. There's no rush sweet sissies, we've got all afternoon and into the evening. We're just getting started.

"Now, Oberon, you've disappointed us all. I know what you are O, just look at Eva here. She was you only a short time ago. Eva, is O getting hard?" She paused and waited for Eva to respond.

"Yes," Eva replied. "I can feel her little clit getting big."

"And what about Eva," she asked. "Do you feel her getting hard O?"

"No," I said. "She's still soft, but she's wet."

"Oh my," she postured. "Eva is a horny sissy slut. Her little clit is like a faucet, it's likely because her pussy is filled right now. She always wears a plug, and she has very healthy kegels.