Several years ago, my husband played poker with a group of 7 or 8 guys, and they would play every two weeks or so, and rotate the game between everyone's homes. These were guys Dave worked with for quite a few years, and between office events and home parties I'd gotten to know them and their wives pretty well too. On the nights they played at our house, I would generally prepare some serious snacks for them before going out to dinner and a movie with some of my women friends. The poker nights gave me a good excuse to see my friends and it was better to be out of the house while they played poker without them having to self-censor their conversations with a woman within hearing distance.
On what could have become the last time Dave hosted the game, I got back from a movie a little early and they were all still playing. I poured myself a glass of wine and went down to the basement rec-room to say "hi" to our guests. I pulled a chair closer between the two tables and watched the games while participating in the conversations. After a while, one of the guys asked if I wanted to join in their game. I said it looked like they had two pretty full tables already. With that, a number of the guys took the opportunity to quit playing and announced that they really needed to go home.
The rest seemed to want to play a while longer, and in order to have enough players for the remaining table they now pleaded how they really needed me to sit in. I come from a serious card-playing family. So, from when I was a pretty young girl I've played a lot of card games, including poker and I know virtually all the games they were playing. After a little more coaxing from the men, I reluctantly agreed to play a few hands. They had been drinking beer all evening, and I'd had a couple glasses of wine with dinner and had another in front of me now. This probably made it easier for me to agree to join the game.
I didn't have a whole lot of cash left from my night out, and my luck started out spotty this evening. So, even though I won a few early hands, I lost the rest of the cash I had within a half hour or so. I announced I was "tapped-out" and got up to go upstairs. Then one of the guys who I've known for a long time, Steve, just couldn't resist the temptation to tease me with, "No problem, Joan, it looks like you've got some clothes on you could bet with." This got the rest of them chiming in with taunts about us now playing strip poker; four guys and me.
"In your dreams," I said, chuckling "and I know what kind of dreams they are too."
With all their very good-natured teasing, I couldn't tell if they were serious or not, but when it comes to this kind of banter, I'm not one to be easily intimidated and I can give it out every bit as well as I can take it. So, I replied, "Guys are big talkers when it comes to strip poker, but when they get down to losing their shorts, they're the first to want to call it quits."
I said it with so much authority, that the guys must have felt that I was a seasoned strip poker player. That also made it seem I'd left the door open at least a little bit, if not also appearing to challenge their male egos. "I'm in to the end," said Steve who first raised the issue. Everyone but my husband swore they were "in" too. I still doubted their seriousness.
"How about you?" I said to Dave, knowing he was the only one "anteing-up" his wife for other men to potentially see naked. While I certainly didn't need his permission to play, I really expected him to say something that didn't sound like a possessive husband yet would still end the evening and send everyone home.
"I'm in if you are," he said to me with calmly. "But it looks Iike you're the one with the most skin in the game." With that bit of droll humor, he at least smiled a little. I still couldn't tell for sure if he was challenging me to "perform" after questioning the guys' willingness to follow-through, or if he wanted me to put an end to this and go to bed. Or maybe his willingness to proceed was simply based on his confidence in my poker playing ability. It was clear he was serious about playing if I was.
"OK, let's talk about this some more," I said, trying to find a way to get them to decide not to go any further, or buy me some time to sort out my thoughts. I didn't want to be pushed or intimidated by these men to participate in something I didn't want to do, nor to look weak and run away under pressure. The feminist in me definitely wanted to get more control over the situation.
"If we play, there have to be some ground rules, especially since I'm the only woman here." Again, they all must have thought I had lots of experience with this game the way I was making up the rules as I went. Dave certainly looked both surprised and impressed.
"First, everyone is in until the end of the game, and that means when someone has lost every stitch. Is everyone on board?" Everyone assured me they were. So, I kept looking for another way to stop this or at the very least make the odds better for me.
"Second, if I lose first, we keep playing until one of you, other than Dave is naked too. Has everyone got that? If you get to see me naked, I want to see some serious new male skin too." Again, they all agreed, but with much less enthusiasm, while I found myself getting more excited about playing.
"Third, what goes on here stays here, I know all your wives and I don't want to lose any friends over this. Everyone OK with that?" I asked. All were OK, so I kept looking other "show-stoppers."
"And fourth, you guys all start with the same number of pieces of clothing, and I get one more. Does everyone agree?"
