I make my way through the airport terminal to baggage claim. I'm in a hurry as are the other passengers that await the arrival of their luggage. My thoughts are of you. Our last night together before I left on my trip-our argument. How silly it all seems now as I manage to maneuver myself into the perfect position to grab my bag off of the conveyer belt.
I have so much that I want to say to you, so much that I want to apologize for, so much to make up for... How could I have been so blind? How could I have allowed myself to disappoint you at a time that I should have been supportive? My mind wanders back to that last evening, to the hurt in your eyes as I denied you the happiness you deserve. How could I have been so selfish?
A bell rings signifying the emergence of luggage from my flight. An older gentleman reaches around me to claim his bag. He brings me back to the present. Your hurt eyes with just a hint of a tear are fading back into the archives of my memory. As my bag finally makes the journey down the ramp and into my hand, I'm determined to make right the hurt that I have caused. During this trip I have learned just how precious you are to me. I vow silently as I make my way from the throng of weary travelers still maneuvering for position to claim their bags, to find a way to demonstrate my devotion to you and your desires.
Making my way towards the exit I can tell that the past week has taken a toll on me physically, mentally and emotionally. Losing a loved one is never easy; especially a loved one as young and vibrant as my cousin. Gone at only 18 years of age. Taken suddenly and quickly as his young adult life had just began. During this entire ordeal, his mother, my aunt, a pillar of strength. Placing her need for sympathy and comfort far behind her. She did her best to enjoy the company of her family. As I step onto the escalator, I remember that she even took time to console me. She peered deep within my heart to see the inner turmoil raging inside. She made me realize what I'm missing by avoidance and working long hours.
As I exit the terminal, bags in hand, I can see cab drivers hustling for the next passenger as a downpour rages outside. I think that 'privilege' does have its advantages at times like these. Our driver steps up to me with an open umbrella. We walk rapidly back to the car. I now realize fully what my 'hard work' has accomplished. I also realize what I may lose if I'm not careful...you.
Reaching for the door handle the driver skillfully opens the rear passenger side door as he holds the umbrella over his head and mine. In another quick motion, he reaches for my bag. This allows me to duck into the back of the limo, as he closes the door behind me.
A lightening bright smile encompasses your lips as you see the look of surprise that appears across my face. I'm a bit taken aback by your presence. Seeing you in the car on this stormy evening is a pleasant home coming. Your face reveals your elation at having caught me off guard. Your companionship, your ability to brighten my day no matter how hectic; just you period is all I need.
Seeing you before me as I settle myself into the seat opposite you, is like a dream come true. You are a vision in all white. Your splendor is on display as I notice the contrast between your bronzed colored skin and the white dress that encompasses your body. You hold a glass of wine to your full lips. Licking them lusciously as you place the glass in the side door holder. You reach for the extra glass that is sitting in the bar. A bottle of my favorite wine is also handy. You pour me a glass of wine as the car careens onto the highway and home.
I have never quite figured out how you know my every need-my every desire. During the flight home, I so desperately wanted to speak with you. To inform you of my change of heart. I placed a call while in flight to the apartment, but I did not get an answer. Now I see why not...
Sipping my wine silently and admiring the beauty that sits before me, is a comforting feeling. We have done well for ourselves financially over a short period of time. You are my lifeline when it comes to business. Beneath the beauty of the woman that is before me, lies a lioness just waiting to pounce on unsuspecting clients who only admire her beauty and not her intelligence. Letting the wine ease it's way down my throat, I realize how lucky I am to have you by my side.
Lately despite our success, I have seen the emptiness in your eyes. The sorrow that fills them at times, when you think I'm not watching. The void that exists when one is longing. A hole that I finally realize I need to fill. Not only does it exist within you, but if I'm honest with myself, I too feel the incompleteness.
Placing my glass to the side in the holder, I remove my suit coat. Despite our drivers best efforts to keep me dry, I still managed to get a bit wet from the downpour. I can feel the wine warming me and the site of you is heating me up as well. I know that I've told you many times how beautiful you are, but there is just an aura about you this evening that is bedazzling to behold.