Picturing Herself Ch 01

PICTURING HERSELF Ch. 01

Mature woman finds sexy fun next door.

Author's note:

The first in a series. Longer than following chapters because this one includes the set-up for the series.

Some future chapters will be published in different categories.

MP

~~~

Cynthia thought of the small two-story house next door as the

Mother in Law House

- even though it wasn't. Her husband insisted they buy it for his widowed mother, then she'd fallen in love all over again and moved in with her boyfriend.

Thank God!

About that same time, Cynthia's husband got involved with a colleague and asked for a divorce.

After the inevitable period of self-pity, Cynthia was relieved.

I'm not married to a man and his mom any more. Sweet.

In the settlement terms he threw the

extra

house into Cynthia's pot like it wasn't important. She thought she'd sell it off, then decided to rent it out so she could control who lived there. The houses were as close as code allowed back when they were built, so close that private conversation and sounds could be overheard through open windows. Best to choose who'd be living there? Then, even before she listed it, Cynthia's friend Lucy said she knew the perfect tenant, her cleaning lady who was looking for a new place. Anna, a single mother in her 30's, who'd started her own cleaning business that had two employees and was growing. Lucy met Anna and her adorable twelve year old daughter at church, and the daughter even attended the same Christian school as Lucy's granddaughter. What could be better? A quiet, responsible woman who wouldn't be partying and knew how to take care of a house.

When Cynthia showed Anna the house she was taken with the younger woman's fresh beauty. A petite natural redhead with the athletic body of a high school cheerleader and the most expressive brown eyes Cynthia had ever seen. Candidly open, non-judgmental eyes that seemed to harbor something deeper. Something mysteriously unexpected. Unobtrusively searching them, Cynthia sensed that it was an intense sexuality hidden within that she found herself envying.

Cynthia's own sex life had been...well, a disappointment. There was no other way to put it. Unadventurous with her husband and in several discouraging liaisons after the divorce. She remembered the thrill of sexual discovery in college and wondered where things had gone wrong, but how odd to envy this quiet single mother? When Cynthia asked Lucy if Anna had suitors she'd answered, "Oh, I don't think so at all. She seems uninterested?" When Lucy saw the question on Cynthia's face she added, "And I don't think she's gay."

That didn't matter to Cynthia. She just wanted to have a quiet tenant in Her MIL house, and that's what she got in Anna.

Kind of.

Six months after Anna moved in, Cynthia's work schedule changed and she started working from home several mornings a week. She loved getting up without rushing around, and working in sweats over morning coffee. One morning she was doing just that in her breakfast nook when a shiny black SUV came in the drive next to her window. She saw it pull up behind Anna's car and realized the young woman must have returned home after driving her daughter to school. The man who got out looked to be Cynthia's age, not Anna's. He walked to Anna's door and entered without knocking.

Wait...what?

Something about the scene made Cynthia think she knew the

what.

Anna's door was visible from Cynthia's breakfast nook, but hidden from the street. The man was there an hour and a half. Cynthia had been watching from the corner of her eye and saw him open the door to leave. Then he turned in the doorway and gave a bare-naked Anna the most passionate kiss Cynthia had ever witnessed in person. Hell, in person or on the screen. He twisted his fingers in the young mother's long auburn hair, pulled her head back and kissed her as she pushed her naked body against him and guided his free hand between her legs. From the way Anna moved, Cynthia

knew

his fingers were inside her. For fuck's sake...Anna was riding his hand like a bitch in heat and from her messed hair and facial expression, Cynthia knew he'd already gotten her off more than once.

Damn

. When they broke from the kiss, Anna brought his hand to her mouth and licked the sexy glaze from his fingers, then he kissed her again to share their salacious flavors.

God Damn

. He finally turned and walked to his car. Anna didn't move. Instead, when he waved goodbye she had a hand between her legs and the other shamelessly squeezed a tit, purposely displayed in the open door.

Fuck

.

Cynthia watched the young mother's slutty display with her mouth open, then realized she wasn't

totally

shocked? After all, there was the sensuality she saw in Anna's eyes that very first day, when she showed her the house. And she'd seen it again, numerous times in the six months that followed. They'd gotten to be genuine friends over coffee on weekends and with a beer or glass of wine many evenings, sometimes in one house and sometimes the other. Cynthia even volunteered to be a standby babysitter if needed and Anna took her up on the offer a few evenings. Each time, Cynthia expected Anna to be 'done up' for a date, only to see her leave in work clothes with sleeves rolled up. She had whole-house full-crew cleaning jobs that involved getting a house or small office building ship-shape before a closing.

So...there were those smoldering embers deep in her eyes

and

the quiet life of a church-going single mother. Cynthia

knew

there was more to the story and now she'd seen something more

Cynthia fetched a fresh cup of coffee and resumed work when there was a tap at the back door. She said, "It's open Anna, c'mon in." She knew it couldn't be anyone else. Over her shoulder she added, "Grab a cup and join me."

The young woman wore comfortable lounging sweats. Cynthia knew there was nothing underneath them, it was the way she moved and dancing bullet nips poking against the fabric. When Anna slid into the nook across from Cyn she glowed. She sipped and smiled and impulsively tied her long auburn hair in a knot behind her head. Cynthia wondered if she did that just for the stimulation of the fabric against her nipples. A sign around her neck proclaiming her to be a well-fucked woman couldn't have been any clearer.

Cynthia asked, "Morning off?"

"Just the early part. I have a job I'm supposed to be starting now that I just called to reschedule. They said no problem." She searched Cynthia's face for some sign of how she was taking what she

had

to have seen. "Sometimes... I just can't clean a house even though I can do the work without thinking. Sometimes when I'm running around with April and scheduling my workers and jobs I need to take a couple hours for me." She was still searching the older woman's face. "Can we talk? I mean really?" Then she saw Cynthia's work spread out on the table and said, "Oh geez. I'm not thinking." She started to slide out of the nook with a distressed look. "Always thinking only about me, I'm really sorry about..."

Cynthia stopped Anna with a hand on her arm. She nodded at her work and said, "This can wait Anna." Anna looked doubtful so Cynthia added, "Really."

The younger woman relaxed onto the bench. "I can't talk with my friends, I mean about some things? I've tried. They're all married with children or they're single mothers like me that are hoping to marry again.

Cynthia nodded.

"I'm not. I mean hoping to find a new husband. Tried that, did that, don't want it again for me or April. Her father remarried, has a new family of their own and he doesn't want to be around April because she reminds him of me? That's not a father, but my parents and her father's parents provide an extended family that cherishes her." She looked at Cynthia. "You're divorced. Do you hope to find a new husband or live-in boyfriend?"

"No."

"I thought that. I sensed it in you.

Cynthia realized that Anna's rambling was because she didn't know how to broach the topic she wanted to. Cynthia's features softened and she said, "Anna, sometimes you just have to spit it out?" She nodded encouragingly.

Anna searched Cynthia's features, then finally steeled herself and spoke. "When I was starting my business several years ago things got tight, like really tight. Like

lose everything I'd put into it

tight. I was terrified I'd lose our independence and that meant everything to April's music. They were already calling her a prodigy and rare talent and I wanted to afford her every opportunity and knew a 9-to-5 for me without a college degree wasn't going to cut it."

Cynthia listened quietly. She felt the young mother's angst.

"Money. I needed money. Lots of money, preferably untaxed." Her eyes moistened, then quickly hardened. "Men have always looked at me. What do they call it, the world's oldest profession? I didn't care. I was willing, then I ran into how? I remembered stories about our resident high-school slut. I remembered my ex saying she'd become a high-end hooker in Minneapolis. I knew her parents and they gave me her cell number and I reached out and told her my story and that my need was genuine and asked her how it's done and she was wonderful."

The words were pouring out of Anna and Cynthia already sensed there were going to be unexpected layers to her story.

"She told me about an arrangements website, hookups for money. Great. I posted a profile with some cute face shots and waited. Got a few hits. Then I posted new pics, sexy selfies with my face blurred b/c I didn't want anyone to know. Some with my sexy bits, some with provocative props, licking a red sucker, a skimpy bra hanging from my fingers. Things like that. And very suggestive text. Dirty stuff."

She paused and looked down at her coffee mug. Cynthia waited, feeling she was about to hear about an unexpected layer.

"The inquiries started coming fast then. Mostly crap that I deleted. You get really good, really fast at spotting the losers. Several weren't losers, they were successful older married men whose wives lost interest in sex because of menopause or just because. Men who didn't want to risk their marriage with a romantic affair but still wanted something on the side?" Anna's face and tone became matter-of -fact. "I won't sugar coat it. They were Johns, generous Johns, and I was a hooker."

Cynthia spoke. "Life can push us into corners and we survive or don't."

Anna nodded, then met Cynthia's eyes. "I survived. But the truth is...I loved doing it. Almost everything about it, starting with the pictures in the profile. Showing myself. Instead of waiting in my little-girl shell, I was a seductress."

Cynthia thought,

and here's a layer

.

The first of several?

"And I loved the sex. The good sex and the dirty sex. A lot of supposedly normal men are different when they're paying for it, they get abusive and unnecessarily demanding." She watched Cynthia who nodded. Then Anna said, "And I loved it." Her face colored but she marched on. "I loved being used and ordered around...because they were paying for it and I was a whore. It was liberating to do it for money instead of for some imagined deeper love that was already turning to shit. A fuck just to fuck, a blowjob, a hand job, a golden shower." With that last, Anna saw the shock on Cynthia's face and said, "Ya, even that. In a hotel tub for two thousand dollars in less than a minute. Once."

Cynthia looked alarmed and Anna quickly added, "Not here Cyn. Not now. Not where my daughter lives. I'm talking about back then. I got past all that, financially and emotionally." She paused to rub her arms like she was cold. "But I didn't get past the sex, the good sex. The sex with men who wanted to please a woman, without needing to control her life. Not having her iron his shirts or grocery shop or do other domestic things. Men who didn't want a dutiful girlfriend or wife. They wanted a lover without the baggage of entanglement." Her eyes searched Cynthia's. "I realized that's what I wanted too. A lover. Not a boyfriend or husband or client - a lover. To touch each other and thrill each other and please each other without society's parochial rules. You can't imagine how good the sex can be when it's just you and your lover exploring without society's shame. You know you're being dirty as fuck but you're doing it with the shameless innocence of curious children and it's lovely. Even with what she'd already learned, Cynthia was surprised by Anna's language.

Then Anna stopped. She realized she might have gone too far.

Cynthia cleared her throat to speak, cleared it again, and then decided not to try.

So Anna continued. "The sex is nothing like with my ex, or my johns."

Cynthia finally said, "But you're still talking about a client?"

Anna responded, "At first. When I met Adam almost two years ago - the man you saw today - I'd gotten very discreet and even pickier. I picked him...and I picked well. I closed my profile on the website after our original meeting. At first he'd give me a gift every time, in an envelope. I don't know why but after nine months I told him he didn't have to give me anything. That's when he got really generous. When I had to replace my beater car, he kicked twenty five grand into the replacement."

Cynthia's eyebrows rose.

"When I told him I'd make it up to him... He got as angry as I've ever seen him and said, 'I gave you a gift Anna, because I wanted to. You don't

make up

a gift. You say Thank You.' And I never wanted to do more for another person in my whole life and what I gave was sexual and what they say is true. The giver of a beautiful gift receives more than the person they give it to."

Cynthia cleared her throat enough to speak this time, "Anna..." Then she realized she had her voice back but no words to say.

The young mother desperately searched Cynthia's face. "I've never told another soul because I didn't want their judgement. I don't want the disapproval of girlfriends who'll suck a cock, but not say 'cock' out loud? You're different Cyn, I need to know what you think. Are you disappointed?"

"No."

"Ashamed for me?"

"No." Cynthia rested a hand on Anna's and met her eyes. She said, "I think I'm sort of proud?"

Anna relaxed but got a puzzled look so Cynthia explained. "You survived, but then you understood what you want. Not what society says you should want, but what

you

want. I think that's rare? It requires unusual independence."

Cynthia squeezed Anna's hand. "And I'm envious. Watching your goodbye I thought, 'why can't I have something like that?' Passion, without the baggage that inevitably smothers it."

"You can." The young woman said simply.

Cynthia began to protest, "Well, I'm..."

"You can." Anna repeated, with the authority of someone who's done it.

Cynthia spoke to Anna like she was too young to understand. "I'm 54."

"So?"

Cynthia spread her arms like she was striking a pose. "I present a middle aged woman."

"Who's hot." When Cynthia started to protest Anna pressed her point. "Hot as fuck, Cyn."

Cynthia smiled and shook her head with amusement. "Despite how explicit our conversation has been, I'm still surprised to hear the lovely young mother from next door use words like fuck and cock."

"But that's part of it Cyn? An important part. Language as uninhibited as our actions."

When Cynthia's expression revealed curiosity, Anna impulsively shared a colorful example. "When I'm on my knees sucking Adam's cock, it's gorgeous by the way, I like to look in his eyes and tell him I love the way his cock feels in my mouth. It makes him bigger when we didn't think he could get any bigger. Harder. He gets hard as a horse's leg bone with veins and a velvety head I can barely fit in my mouth."

Cynthia's TMI discomfort was building again when she suddenly smirked, then struggled to suppress a giggle with a hand over her mouth. She lowered her hand and shook her head with a smile. "I still can't believe I'm having this conversation with you, of all people? I rented to you because you seemed so quiet and conservative."

"I am," Anna replied with an impish smile, "except when I'm not." She searched Cynthia's face. "Do you mind Cyn? Should we stop talking about this?"

"Oh no. This might be the most interesting conversation I've ever had with another woman, the most honest."

Anna glowed. "Ya. I've wanted to have this conversation for... like forever. I didn't think I ever would. Then I moved into your little house and knew early on that if it was ever going to happen... it would be with you."

"Me?" Cynthia was beyond curious. "Why me?"

Anna sipped her coffee and considered her answer, then lowered the mug. "For starters your independence. Most of the women I know are in committed relationships and think everyone should be. Even if they're in a bad one, they think it's just that they've got the wrong man and have to find the right one. Not you. You know it's not the one you're with - it's

you

. What do

you

want?"

Cynthia nodded. She

did

value her independence more than other women. After the divorce she thought it was a phase she'd pass through but when she finally had a few dates she realized it was more. The men assumed Cynthia was looking for a new marriage prospect. Her friends thought the same. So she imagined being involved with each of them, maybe because of the expectations? And imagining it, Cynthia didn't just find the prospect uninviting - she recoiled. It wasn't the particular men as much as the idea of voluntarily putting herself in something remotely similar to the marriage she'd just gotten out of. She realized that asking for the divorce was the best thing her ex ever did for her.

Cynthia snapped back to the conversation in her breakfast nook when Anna continued. "More compelling than your independence was a look you have about you. A look in your eyes, a sensuality to your mouth, even the way you move."

Cynthia quietly waited for more from this young woman who was

so

full of surprises, with the newest one being the shifting dynamic between them. It felt like Anna was the more mature, in a sexual sense. More experienced and in some ways wiser than Cynthia?

Anna said, "You've always believed no one can see it."

Cynthia's eyebrows rose in question.

"When you look at a man and wonder how he kisses. Look at his hands and imagine them on you," Anna smiled provocatively, "or his fingers doing wonderfully dirty little things inside you. His cock in your hands. His cum on your tits." Anna saw a subtle change in Cynthia's expression and said, "Oh... your ex never did that? He never pulled out to jerk his load onto your tits." Cynthia's features confirmed the statement. "You think no one sees what you're thinking because it's so unexpected with who you are. A mature woman who's too respectable to have vibrant sexual currents coursing through her, with dirty little desires popping into her imagination almost anywhere.

Cynthia wasn't protesting, wasn't even embarrassed, but she

was

getting very warm.

"Has any man ever done that, cum on your tits?"

"In college, before my sex life... Well, before."

"And?"

"It felt really dirty...and exciting."

"How many years ago was that?"

Cynthia did the math in her head and said "I guess more than 35?"

"But you still think about it."

Cynthia objected. "I don't think about sex all the time. I'm not obsessed, I mean I don't care

that

much."

"But it's always there isn't it Cyn? Just under the surface. Waiting, until you look at a random man in the grocery store or your friend's husband, and think about sucking his cock. I love sucking cock, do you?"