(Overheard, young woman on a cell phone at Haulover Beach:)
"Hey Sweetie, it's me. Can you talk? OK, good. You'll never guess where I am!
"Good guesses, but I'm at the beach! Well, I told you you should have flown down here to meet me for the weekend. Here it is Saturday in the middle of my two-week training workshop, we're off today and tomorrow, and so here I am at the beach!
"Well, since you chose to stay up north and golf with your buddies, I'm here alone, just enjoying the sun and water.
"What beach? It's called Haulover Beach, and it's not far from where the training is. I took the bus from downtown, and it drops you off right near the lifeguard tower. And can you guess what I'm wearing?
"That new bikini? Well, I wore it on the bus but I'm not wearing it now. You know how you're always trying to get me to go to that clothing-optional beach at Sandy Hook, so you can show me off naked? And we tried it once and you spent the whole afternoon trying to get me to take off my bottoms? Well, here I am on Haulover Beach, no top, no bottom!
"Yes, really! Are there people here seeing me? Yes, it's exciting! They're seeing me naked. I told you you should have flown down here. You'd be seeing me being naked right now, in front of all these people!
"Are they looking at me? Yes, of course! But right now I'm lying on my stomach, so they can't see much.
"You want to stay on my stomach? Why? So they can't see a lot? Why, you jealous man! So it's OK if they see my butt?
"How come at Sandy Hook you wanted me to take everything off and walk around? I think that was just so you could watch me parading around. That would have been more for you than for me, and that's why I didn't do it.