I was sitting in my neighborhood bar one night drinking beer, and feeling kinda crappy. Actually, I was feeling real crappy. And real shitty. And semi-depressed. Because it had been a very weird, and a very annoying day. So weird and annoying, in fact, that I was knee-deep in one of those "who gives a shit, fuck the world"-type moods. One of those moods when even BEER tastes bad.
Then a woman came in. And sat down next to me. And changed everything.
Her name was Penny. And she was a sultry, sexy, red-haired sight for sore eyes. And I was happy as hell to see her. For a lot of reasons.
First of all, we were old friends, and sometimes lovers. Second of all, she always made me smile. Third of all, we hadn't seen each other in about a month. And lastly, because I always got turned-on and aroused just from looking at her -- and that night was no exception.
Which is why I don't really remember much about the first couple of minutes of our conversa-
tion that night. I know we did all the usual "hello", "how are you?", "how've you been?", "good to see you" stuff. And I vaguely recall engaging in some other small talk.
But frankly, my mind was, um....elsewhere, if you get my drift. Like I was thinking about how relaxed and at ease her smile made me feel. And about how damn good she looked. With her long, silky, dark red hair falling down on her shoulders. And the "ornery" look she had on her almost-too-cute, half angelic/half sultry face. And the burgundy lipstick on her lips. And the little peak of cleavage that was visible above the neckline of her semi-low cut top. And the swell of her breasts pushing against the thin, black fabric. And the view I got when she sat down and her tight, short skirt slid up real high, and exposed a LOT of her firm, black hose-covered thighs.
So anyway, there we were sitting next to each other at the bar. And not surprisingly, considering the above-described thoughts that were swirling around in my head, we started talking about sex. Which is actually what we usually talked about in situations like that.
Which always "upset" her. And she always bitched and moaned about it. Because she thought it meant that I "only wanted sex" from her. So we always tried not to do it. But we were never very successful. Probably because neither of us could help it. Because that's what both of us wanted to talk about. Except SHE wouldn't ADMIT IT at first.
So she complained and acted hurt -- just like she always did. And I shrugged and grinned at her -- just like I always did. Because I knew she was right. I did "want sex". But so did
she! And I knew from experience that if I just shut up, and let her vent for awhile, she'd eventu-
ally succumb to her desires, and get into it -- just like she always did. Which is exactly what happened. I kept grinning. And she stopped complaining.
HER: Let's move to a booth.
ME: A booth? Why?
HER: It'll be more private.
ME: Fine.
We left the bar and sat down beside each other in a booth over in the corner. And as soon as we got there, I felt her hand in my crotch -- rubbing and squeezing my dick through my pants.
ME: Jesus! How am I suppossed to not think about sex when you're doing that?
HER: That?
ME: Yeah, THAT.
HER: You don't like it?
ME: I like it just fine. But that's not what I asked.
HER: I want to get it out.
ME: What?
HER: You heard me. I'm gonna get it out. And beat you off. Just act normal.
ME: Normal! How the hell am I gonna...JESUS!
HER: Ooohhh! I've always wanted to do this!
ME: Uh....
HER: Feel good?
ME: Hell yes it feels good!
HER: Mmmm. I can tell. This is SOOO naughty, isn't it?
ME: Naughty?
HER: Yeah. And it's a great turn-on, too!
ME: For you?
HER: Yes!
ME: So jacking off a man in a public place turns you on, huh?
HER: SOME men, absolutely! And it obviously turns you on too!
ME: No shit! But it isn't fair.
HER: Fair?
ME: Yeah. It makes me feel selfish.
HER: Selfish? Why?
ME: Because it's not mutual. I need to do you too!
HER: Me?
ME: Yeah. Like...that!
HER: Oh God!
ME: Just act normal.
HER: Uh....
ME: Relax! That's only one finger.
HER: Oh yes!
ME: You ready for two fingers?
HER: What? Wait a min....OH SHIT!
ME: You like that?
HER: Uh huh!
ME: Yeah?
HER: Yes! Yes!
ME: I know. I can tell by how wet you are!
HER: Oh God! I can tell by how hard YOU are!
ME: This is fucking CRAZY!
HER: Uh huh. But I'm really, really turned on!
ME: Me too!
Which is when John the bartender came over.
JOHN: So how are you two doing tonight?
ME: I'm uh...I'm doing fine, Johnny. But Penny looks a little distracted, don't you think?
JOHN: Yeah. Now that you mention it. What's wrong, Penny? You look flushed.
HER: What? No. I'm fine, John. I'm just....OHHH!
JOHN: Oh what, Penny?
HER: Uh....
ME: I think she's just horny, Johnny.
JOHN: Hell, Penny's always horny! That's not it. It's something else. She looks....
ME: Turned on?
She was so wrapped up in what I was doing to HER that she let go of my dick, and I reached down with my free hand and shoved it back in my pants.
JOHN: Is that it, Penny? Are you turned on?
HER: I always get turned on when I see YOU, Johnny.
JOHN: Not that turned on! You want more wine? Maybe that'll calm you down.
HER: Yeah. Sure. I could use some more wi.....OH SHIT!
JOHN: Geez! I don't know what's going on, but you're sure as hell jumpy, that's for sure!
HER: I'm just tired, that's all. I had a long....UNH!
JOHN: Whatever you say, Penny. How bout you, Jim? Another beer?
ME: Yeah. Thanks.
