On the Loose

"I'm very sorry about your loss, Helen," said mr Perkins.

"Thank you, sir," I said. "I still can't understand it. It's like a bad dream."

"You need more time," he nodded. "You've been very brave throughout this whole ordeal, Helen. Very strong. The funeral was beautiful. Very touching. Your parents would have been proud of you."

I couldn't answer him, my throat was too thick. I dried my eyes on the already soaked handkerchief.

"Have you given any though to what you want to do now?" the lawyer continued, steering the conversation into safer, fact-based grounds.

"Yes, I have," I said. "Everyone in the parish has been very kind to me and offered me a place in their home, a job, or a helping hand if I want to keep the farm... but I've made up my mind. I'm going to sell the farm and move to Massachusetts. I've already been accepted to Boston College."

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

When I got out of the cab outside the college, I looked around in amazement. The place was so much bigger than I had expected it to be, and there were people everywhere, people my own age, people dressed in jeans and T-shirts or tube tops and short skirts, something my parents would NEVER let me wear! I came from a deeply religious community, and my family, like everyone else, had considered daring clothes and make-up improper. I hadn't even been allowed to cut my hair. I wouldn't want to look like I was easy, now, would I? Some of the girls were walking hand in hand with their boyfriends, and I felt a sting of jealousy and longing. I had never had a boyfriend in my whole life. My mother had taught me to save myself for my wedding-night. "What boy would want to buy the cow when he could get the milk for free?" she had told me. But my parents were dead now. It was up to me to do what I wanted with my life. I felt a rush of excitement through my body when I saw a glimpse of all the things I could do, all the things I could experience, now that I was free to do them. Then I felt a stab of guilt paired with fear for all these new things around me, things my parents had protected me from, things that I now had to handle on my own. With a pounding heart, I picked up my bags and went to find my new home in the girls' dorm.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

I opened the door to my room and was surprised to find another girl in there.

"Hello?" I said.

She looked up from the bag that she was unpacking. She was a short and chubby girl with brown eyes and brown hair. When she saw me, her round face broke into a big smile that revealed a line of perfect white teeth.

"Hi!" she said, holding out her hand. "I'm Rachel. You must be my room-mate!"

"Helen Taylor," I said, shaking her hand.

She was strong. Her eyes looked straight into mine, and I nervously looked away. Now I noticed that there were two beds, two desks, and two wardrobes in the room.

"So... we're going to share room?" I asked shyly.

"Yep!" said Rachel. "Say, do you mind if I take this side?"

"No, that's fine with me," I said, and put my suitcases on the other bed.

But I felt more uncomfortable than I let on. I hadn't shared room with anyone since I was a baby.Was I to dress in front of this girl every morning? And un-dress in front of her every evening? How embarrassing!

Oh, get a grip on yourself, Helen! I told myself. You wanted to get away from the village and experience college life, didn't you?

I collected myself, and started unpacking. Rachel turned out to be a very talkative girl. By the time I had put my clothes away I already knew that she came from New York, that she was an only child, like me, and that she had never met her father because he had abandoned Rachel's mother when he found out that he was going to be a father. Further on, I knew that Rachel's mother was an artist, a painter, and that Rachel had been brought up just as much by her mother's eccentric friends and lovers as by her own mother, and that Rachel thought that her mother would have been better off living in the 60'ies, with the hippies.

"What about you?" Rachel asked, stuffing our bathroom cabinet with make-up and other beauty products in colorful bottles.

"I'm from Bakersville, Idaho," I said. "I'm an only child, like you. My parents were killed in a car accident 3 months ago."

"Oh, you poor baby!" Rachel exclaimed.

She gave me a big hug. It felt a little strange being hugged by another woman. I could feel her large breasts press against my own. She sat down on the edge of the toilet seat and looked at me while I put my few things into the bathroom cabinet. She looked like a sad puppy.

"My parents were deeply religious," I said. "We went to church every Sunday. My father worked at the municipal administration office, as a clerk, and my mother was a housewife."

"Are you into religion, too?" said Rachel. "Coz I gotta warn ya, I'm not!"

"Well..." I hesitated. "I do believe in God, but I'm not as religious as my parents. They lived by every rule in the bible. Me... I'm more mundane. I was rather isolated as a child. I haven't done all the things that other people have. I want to see what life is like outside of Bakersville."

"Atta girl!" Rachel smiled.

She threw a glance on her wrist watch and shrieked.

"We have to go and register for our classes!" she said. "Come on!"

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

We signed up for our classes and then went for a cup of coffee in the campus cafeteria. We sat down at a table near a window, sipped on our coffee, and talked some more.

"What did you do when you grew up?" asked Rachel. "You said you were rather isolated?"

"Well, my parents were a bit overprotective," I said. "They took care of me, drove me to school and back, helped me with my homework, went with me to church, to masses and other religious gatherings..."

"Didn't you ever go out on your own?" said Rachel.

"Not really," I said. "I didn't have much time for going out, with all my home work and helping my parents out on our farm..."

"What about friends?" said Rachel.

"Oh, I had lots of friends!" I said. "In church. All the old ladies in the choir, and the priest, mr Arden, and his wife, she was very nice..."

"What about friends your own age?" Rachel cut me off.

"I didn't have any," I said. "The kids at school thought I was pretty boring, since I could never hang out with them after school or in the weekends."

"That sucks!" said Rachel.

A couple passed us, hugging and cooing sweet nothings in low voices to each other. Rachel looked at me as if she had just thought of something.

"Did you have a boyfriend back in Bakersville?" she asked.

"No," I said, feeling a little warm and uncomfortable. "My parents didn't want me to go out with boys before I was 18."

"Well, we can't have you leaving college without having had a few adventures!" said Rachel, slamming her fist in the table.

"I don't know..." I said, staring at my empty cup.

"Honey, this is college!" said Rachel. "You're SUPPOSED to be wild around here! Cover the head of the statue in the front yard with your panties, experiment with gay sex, have sex with every guy on campus on the top of the dorm roof - and then do it all again!"

"I can't do that!!!" I said.

"Why not?" said Rachel. "You've got a fear of heights?"

We both burst out laughing.

"How about this?" said Rachel. "When the first campus party is announced, we'll go there. You'll go to your first real party ever, and we'll have a great time. OK?"

"OK," I said. "That sounds nice."

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

The first party was that same weekend. The Gamma Lambda Alfa fraternity house had a big party to welcome all newcomers. Everyone was welcome, not just those pledging to join the fraternity, Rachel read out loud off the flyer she found.

"We just GOTTA go there!" she cried. "This is gonna be so much fun!"

I was a little nervous, but since I'd already promised her to come along to the first party announced, I agreed to come. The reason for my nervousness wasn't just because of my shyness. I also doubted it would be a good idea to go out partying, seeing as the first few days of college was so hectic already, what with finding classrooms, buying books, doing homework, etc. Preparing for this party took a lot of time away from my study-time. Rachel, on the other side, ruled out any studying being done on a Friday night, and then, with one disapproving look to my long, blue skirt, went on to inspecting my wardrobe. Not surprisingly, she disqualified every piece of clothing I had.

"We're going to a PARTY, Helen, not to a church gathering!" she said.

"What do you suggest, then?" I said.

"You're taller than I am..." she said. "And slimmer, you lucky bitch! Oh, sorry, Helen, I didn't mean that, it was just a term of endearment! Let's see..."

She pulled out a few things from her wardrobe and tossed them on my bed.

"Try these!" she said.

"I can't wear THIS!" I said, and held up a tiny black skirt. "It's too short!"

"What?" said Rachel. "It's mid-thigh! You've got slim, sexy legs, you should show them off!"

"I'm not wearing it, I declared, blushing over the compliment. "I'd be uncomfortable in it."

"OK, fine, what about this one?" said Rachel, and held up a red blouse with transparent sleeves. "It covers you arms..."

"Oh, no!" I said. "I never wear red. It's not proper."

"What ARE you talking about?" said Rachel smiling.

"My parents used to say that red is an indecent color," I said. "If a girl wears red, she's sending out the signal that she's... you know... easy."

"I gotta wear red more often!" mumbled Rachel, and put the blouse on her own bed.

We went on like that for at least an hour. We just didn't have the same taste, Rachel and I, which made it hard for us to agree. Finally, she fished out a pair of light blue jeans out of her wardrobe.

"These and a white shirt!" she said. "That's my final offer!"

"I can't wear trousers!" I said.

"And why the... not?" said Rachel.

"I'm not a boy!" I said.

"Hello?" said Rachel. "Welcome to the new millennium! Women DO wear trousers these days!"

"I don't feel comfortable showing off too much of my body," I said. Those things are so tight, they're like a second skin!"

"What about these?" said Rachel, pointing at the trousers she was wearing.

They were the kind of trousers a carpenter might wear, with suspenders and a pocket over the chest. Light blue denim.

"What about them?" I said.

"Do you think these are too tight?" said Rachel.

"No..." I said.

"Then you'll wear these and a T-shirt!" said Rachel. "Here, try them on!"

She undid the suspenders and the buttons in the side, and stepped out of them. Rachel had no problems showing off her curvy little body to people. I took the trousers and put them on my bed. I opened one button in my skirt, and looked up.

"Could you turn around, please?" I said.

"Huh?

"I'm not used to changing my clothes in front of other people."

"OK, OK. I'm turning around. There. Now I'm turned."

I quickly got out of my skirt and put Rachel's carpenter trousers on. They were still warm from her body, and they smelled like her. I don't know what kind of perfume she was using, but it was strong and sweet and smelled like I imagined a foreign country would smell. I buttoned the trousers at the side and pulled the suspenders over my shoulders and buttoned them too.

"Can I turn around now?" said Rachel.

"Yes."

Rachel smiled contently when she saw me.

"All right!" she said. "Now we're getting somewhere! OK, a T-shirt..."

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

We arrived at the Gamma Lambda Alfa party at 11.30 PM. Rachel wore that skirt that I had ruled out as too short, along with the red blouse. I was afraid she was asking for trouble, but then again, Rachel seemed tough enough to handle most types of trouble. Me, I was wearing those carpenter's trousers and the only T-shirt that Rachel and I had been able to agree on; a white one with long, tight sleeves and a print on the front that read "I'm going to Disneyland!" We didn't know anyone else at the party, so I did my best to stay close to Rachel. A task that wasn't easy, mind you, as she spent most of her time on the dance floor. I don't know how to dance, not any dance, so I sneaked into a corner with a diet soda and watched my room-mate. Rachel was popular with the boys. There were always several of them dancing around her, trying to get close to her. Even though I intended to do what my mother had taught me and save myself for my wedding night, when I saw Rachel with all those boys, I wished I had a boyfriend. I wanted someone to be as interested in me as those boys were in her. I wished that I was as brave as Rachel. The diet soda made its way through my system, and I had to go to the ladies' room. Of course there were no such thing in a frat house, so I had to choose between waiting in line to use the same bathroom as the boys of the house, or go back to my own room. I rushed home and into the bathroom. There was no way I'd go to a mens' room! OK, so I had outgrown my childhood belief that sharing a toilet with a boy was how you made babies, but still - putting your intimate parts where a boy had put his?!?!? No way! As I washed my hands and dried them, I heard the door to our room open, and I heard Rachel giggle. I was just about to go out to her when I heard another voice talking quietly. It was a male voice. Rachel had brought a boy back to our room! Why on earth would she do that..? I opened the bathroom door just a little, and peeked out. Rachel was on her bed, sitting on top of one of the boys she had been dancing with, and they were kissing! I stood still, staring at the scene in front of me, with my mouth open and my eyes almost falling out of my head. I should have let them know I was there, I should have left the room hurriedly, left them alone, I shouldn't have stared at them like that, but I was too shy to go out there, and I was too fascinated by what I saw to stop it. Rachel pulled the boy's T-shirt off, and he fumbled with the buttons in her blouse. She helped him to take it off, and he put his hands on top of her bra-clad breasts and kneaded them like they were made of dough. I had warned her that red blouse would make boys think she was easy! Then again, she didn't help correct the idea much when she tore off her bra and threw it on the floor! The boy sat up in bed and held her in his arms, and then he started licking on one of Rachel's nipples! How perverted! He was slobbering all over a part of the female body that wasn't supposed to be touched by any other lips than those of a baby! Rachel seemed to enjoy it, though. She moaned and caressed the boy's shoulders and back, whispering "yes, yes!" with her eyes closed. The boy opened his trousers and pulled them down, and a long, thick, snake-like thing jumped out of them and hit against his stomach. I had never seen anything like that before. What was that? It was darker than the rest of the boy's naked skin, and it grew out of a patch of curly dark hair, the same type of hair I had myself on that very same place, just above where the legs met..? Rachel put her hand around the shaft of that thing and rubbed it, up and down.

"Suck it!" I heard the boy whisper, and I gasped for breath when Rachel took the boy's thing inside her mouth and bobbed her head up and down over it.

How disgusting! Rachel was licking and sucking that boy's... thing! He seemed to like it, because he lied back on her bed and moaned "yeah, baby, yeah, that's it, suck my dick!" I was shocked and appalled, but I was also curious to see what was going to happen next. I felt something stirring inside me, something new and strange, but not really unpleasant. Rachel got up and took the rest of her clothes off. She had a very pretty body, feminine and curvy. The boy made a face at her, as if he appreciated her beauty too, Rachel took something out of the drawer in her bedside table and straddled his body. She rolled a transparent piece of plastic over the boy's shaft, positioned herself right over his shaft, took it in her hand and steered it in between her legs, then sank down over him. The boy's tool was buried inside her pink folds, and the two of them moaned loudly. Neither of them seemed to be in any pain, because they were both giggling, like naughty kids doing something they knew mum and dad would disapprove of. Rachel then began to rock back and forth, making the boy's tool slide in and out of her. The boy caressed her breasts and her behind, and they both moaned, again and again. I wasn't sure what was going on, but I felt very strange. My breathing got slower and heavier, my heart pounded faster, and I felt a strange wish to be in Rachel's place. My face was burning red, I could feel it. Rachel's movements got faster, and the couple's moaning got more intense, and then Rachel became still, as she let out a happy "oooooh...!" The boy grabbed on to her hips and bucked his hips upwards, into her, faster and faster, until he too hollered out and became still. They giggled and kissed each other, whispered something I couldn't hear, and then Rachel got up and put her clothes on.

"What's the rush, baby?" said the boy. "Come back here..."

"Sorry, stud, I can't," said Rachel. "I left my room-mate at the party. I have to go back and look for her. Sorry..."

"It's OK," said the boy, and got up and got dressed to. "Are we still on for tomorrow?"

They left and closed the door behind them. I waited to make sure they had really gone before I stepped out of the bathroom. My body and soul was in a state of turmoil. It all made sense now, the wedding night, the red-is-easy, the stay-away-from-boys, everything! This was the big secret! This was what sex was all about! And from what I had seen, it was quite a nice experience...

I walked out of the dorm and back to the fraternity house to find Rachel. The fresh air against my hot cheeks helped me calm down somewhat.

TO BE CONTINUED