On the Beach

The fallout from the previous night's festivities continues...

Thanks to LarryInSeattle for his editing. Any errors that remain are my own.

*****

I gave up on the idea of jerking off. Something was going on with Bill. I realized that this was the first time in my life I was worried about my brother. He'd never gotten in trouble. He had been about the least jerky little brother you could ask for. The little brother I knew, or thought I knew, wouldn't have acted like he did this morning. That Bill would never lie in bed and jerk off in front of someone, much less his brother.

I

didn't think it was that weird. The only thing I was freaking out over was the fact I had found it kind of exciting.

I rolled out of bed. I cringed in disgust as the plastic mattress pad clung to my body. As it peeled away from my skin I had a fleeting vision of a painting, or maybe a sculpture, of some Greek god flaying a man alive for beating him in a music contest. I shuddered, and wiped the sweat away from my back and side, before wiping my hand on the sheet.

I was worried about my brother. I was disgusted by the hot clingy plastic. Yet, I still had a boner. I pulled a pair of dry swim trunks on over my erection. I stopped long enough to take a piss, bending and pushing my dick down in order to do so. As I headed upstairs I willed my boner to go down, not that that usually worked but I figured I ought to at least try.

Jill was lying nude on one of the lounge chairs. She craned her neck to look at me as I stepped out onto the deck. Her eyes dropped to the front of my trunks.

She shook her head. "What is it with you guys and your damn boners? Christ, can't you strap it down or something?"

Before I could answer, my stomach growled. I didn't want to get into it with Jill. Of the three of us, Jill and I had the hardest time getting along. I quit worrying about my dick, knowing that was the most likely way of getting it to do down, short of jerking.

"Be right back," I told her, fighting the impulse to call her "sis". I poured a big mug of coffee with plenty of cream and sugar while my bagel toasted. I smeared half the tub of cream cheese on it and headed back to the deck.

I ignored Jill's disapproving glance at the amount of cream cheese on my bagel. I sat my coffee cup and bagel down on the little table between the lounge chairs and shucked my trunks. The distraction of fixing myself something to eat had resulted in my boner mostly fading away but I was still a little hard. A strand of precum stretched from the head of my dick to the trunks. It shimmered for a moment in the sun and then snapped. I discretely wiped the remaining strand from my dick and wiped it on my hip before I spread the towel lying there over the chair. I settled myself on the chair, picked up half the bagel and took a huge bite. I could feel the cream cheese smear across both cheeks. Jill never took her eyes off the sparkling water. The glare made my eyes water. I couldn't imagine how she kept her eyes on the water without sunglasses.

"Kiddo, you can't put sunscreen on your retinas. Get your sunglasses or put up with looking at me." I didn't bother to wipe the cream cheese off my face.

"Don't call me that," she replied in a monotone but she did pull her eyes off the horizon and looked at me. I opened my mouth. It was full of bagel and cream cheese, half-chewed. She grimaced and turned back to look out over the water.

"What's the matter? You don't like 'see food'?"

The joke fell flat and I wiped my face off with one finger.

She rolled onto her side and rested the side of her head on one palm. I noticed that my sister had really nice boobs. They were just the right size. The triangles of white made her pink nipples and areolas look almost red, and made her soft tan look darker than it was. I noticed her boobs but I didn't

notice

notice them. I mean I didn't ogle them or lust after them. I simply noticed she had nice breasts and that was all. That realization made me feel less uncomfortable being naked in front of her and her in front of me.

"I'm worried about Bill."

I nodded but finished chewing and swallowing before I spoke. "Me, too. He was acting kind of weird this morning."

"Weird? How?" Jill asked as she sat up on the edge of the bed. I almost asked her if she waxed and if she did how much does it hurt and did her salon do guys? I shook my head, more amazed than irritated at how easily I became distracted.

"Well, when I woke up he was jerking off."

Jill shrugged. "So, guys do that all the time, don't they?"

"Jerk off? Sure, but he's never done it in front of me. Guys don't jerk off in front of each other very often, not at our age anyway. "

"Did he know you were awake? Did you jerk off, too?"

I felt myself blushing, remembering how strong the desire had been to open my eyes and stroke my cock along with my brother. "No. I pretended to be asleep. When he came up here without taking a shower first, that was even weirder than him jerking off." I shook my head as I took another bite of my bagel. I covered my mouth with one hand this time, too impatient to wait until I finished chewing. "Maybe he figures after last night there is no point in being shy any longer?"

"I don't think that's it," Jill replied, shaking her own head in turn. "He's not shy. He's," she paused searching for the right word. "He's circumspect," she finished.

I nodded in agreement. "The word I was thinking of was 'cautious' but you're right. He's not a risk taker and jerking off in public is risky."

"Who was jerking off in public on this fine-fucking-tastic morning?" an irritatingly cheerful voice boomed from the patio door.

Jim stepped out onto the deck before I could probe Jill further. Her face lit up and the worry I'd seen earlier vanished like a puff of smoke on the breeze.

Jim was clearly the most chipper of the three of us. He was barefooted and had on jams and a DMB tee shirt that was more holes than shirt. He carried two cups of coffee.

He held one out to Jill.

"Uh, thanks," she whispered and took it from him. She took a sip. "How did you know how I like it?"

Jim looked at the deck, clearly embarrassed. Goddamn it. Part of me wanted to be pissed at the guy for nailing my little sister. I didn't want him to be the great guy Bill said he was. I knew he spent a lot of time at my house. Hell, he slept in my bed more than I did because I was away at ESU most of the time. I didn't know him as well as the rest of the family did. Truth be told, I was a little jealous that he'd slid so easily into my place at home. I didn't want to like the fucker. I wanted to see him as an intruder. It only took a second for me to realize how stupid it was to want my sister to hang around a dick. Besides, if my parents had semi-adopted some total douche bag in my place what would that have said about me?

"I don't know," Jim stammered. "I mean, I've seen how you fixed your coffee that's all. I mean, I don't know. We've had breakfast together before. I mean not you and I but me and your family and you. I mean, shit, I'm not a stalker or anything."

"Jesus, dude, get a grip," I scoffed. "You fucking nailed my sister in front of her entire family last night and now you're worried she thinks you're a stalker?"

Jim's looked more embarrassed. There was no anger in his eyes. Jill's blazed.

"Us? What about you, asshole?"

"Settle your ass back down kiddo. I'm not the one standing here looking like a puppy afraid he's been caught piddling on the carpet."

That was a low blow and I knew it. I saw a flicker in Jim's eyes and held up a hand.

"My bad. I call bullshit on myself. Dude, man, you're fine, totally fine. Sorry. I'm not used to anyone tip-toeing around Jill, worried they might piss her off. I spend most of my time trying to do just that." I couldn't help it. I had to add, "I guess now I'll have to get used to spending more time chit-chatting with someone she's just blown."

Jill punched me, hard.

"Asshole. Knock it off. I'll kill your ass and dump you in the Dismal Swamp on the way home, shithead fucker."

Every syllable or so was stress by another punch to my shoulder, each less effective than the one before. By the end, I was laughing at her, which only pissed her off more. Jim was smart enough to wipe the smile off his face before she turned around.

"What's going on?"

My dad stood just inside the living room. He tried to sound fatherly and commanding but it was clear he was uncomfortable. That freaked me out a little. My old man was chill as hell; nothing ruffled his feathers. Mom said she saw a drop of sweat on his forehead once, when an eighteen-wheeler jack-knifed in front of them, but that's about it.

"Jill, would you go talk to your mother, please?"

Jill didn't ask any questions. She just said, "Sure," and stood up.

"Better put some clothes on first," he suggested.

Jill shook her head. "You think so? I don't. I think it will seem like less of a big deal if we don't make it a big deal." She turned to go, adding, "Besides I doubt it's nudity she's upset about."

Dad nodded, not that Jill saw him. She stepped over to Jim, kissed him softly and turned away, heading for the master bedroom down the hall. For a punk about to be freshman in college, she was irritatingly confident in her own decisions.

"Um, boys, about last night," dad started. I interrupted him, something I rarely do.

"Forget it dad. It's no big deal."

"No big deal?" He sounded incredulous.

I decided to go with Muriel's line of reasoning.

"Getting off on being watched is hardly unusual. Muriel suggested it wasn't the first time you two got frisky in the pool while she pretended to watch for dolphins." He opened his mouth at that but closed it. "Yeah, I know. You're our parents. That makes it kind of weird for sure but it's not like we don't know you and mom have sex. It's not like, despite your best efforts, Bill and I haven't shared a chuckle at the sounds coming from your bedroom. You love each other. You're still young. It was a beautiful night. It happened. No BFD."

He looked like he wanted to be reassured but his face was still gripped with regret.

"Maybe. I don't know. That's one hell of a mountain of rationalization you built for yourself. Muriel help you with that speech?" Dad wasn't only chill. He was fucking smart, too. He glanced at Jim. "But later, with your sister, Christ she won't be nineteen until next month."

"When she was nineteen wasn't mom already pregnant with me?"

"That's different," he snapped.

"Really? I don't see how. I don't mean to sound like a dick but my bet is Jill is being more careful than mom was. I never pictured her as a nun, so it was going to happen sometime. Besides..." I glanced at Jim who looked like he was considering vaulting over the deck rail and hoping for the best. "As much as I hate to say it, Jim seems like a cool guy. Bill says he's cool and if Bill says it, I believe it." I sat back down on the lounge chair and stretched out. "All I'm pissed about is you ass wipes mixing up enjoying the sun and breeze on your body with an orgy. That's the very myth us naturists are trying to dispel. I'm going to relax for a bit and enjoy the sun like God intended."

"Nice plan," dad intoned in a flat voice. "Except you're forgetting the part about Adam and Eve being ashamed of their nakedness."

"I'm an atheist."

I closed my eyes, wishing I had a small towel to cover my eyes. Even through my closed lids the sun blazed.

"Mr. Casey," I heard Jim begin but my dad interrupted him.

"Save it Jim. You practically live at my house. I got nothing against you, son. What's with 'Mr.' all of a sudden? If I was Ben before you deflowered my daughter I don't see why I can't be Ben after."

-----

Man, let me fill you in on a little secret. There ain't a thing in the world can kill a good mood quicker than having the father of the girl you're in love with look at you like he wants to bust you in the mouth. Especially, if the father is a dude you let yourself start to think of as sort of, in a way, your own dad. I hadn't seen my old man since I was ten. Last I heard he was out and had taken off for Florida, though Aunt Mae had heard tell it was Texas, not Florida. I figured he was a bigger fool than I imagined if either of those were true. Them states do not fuck around. If he got his third strike in either, I wouldn't need to wonder where to send his fucking Christmas card, not for the rest of his life. I didn't care all that much but, just on principle, I hate the thought of another black man rotting in jail, even if he did deserve it.

Momma said she didn't give a shitty rat's ass where the son-of-a-bitch went and she meant it. Why it took five kids over ten years to figure that out was all I wondered about. I was too busy helping with my three sisters and brother to get into serious shit. I made it through high school without getting arrested or getting some chick pregnant. I knew it would be tough but I had to get out of there. I didn't figure my shit can of a school had come close to making me ready for college. I had a cousin in Norfolk. I decided to head to Virginia, learn a trade. Sissy, one of my sister and second oldest, was a good kid. She'd help momma, assuming she didn't let that mother fucker Jade knock her up.

Life in our house sat too close to allow much time for sentimentality. I packed up two small suitcases. That was all I needed. Momma did kissed me on the cheek before she reminded me to send money when I could. Sissy dropped me off at the Greyhound station. I told her in a couple years I'd be able to send enough money that she wouldn't have to worry about momma or the kids. I as good as begged her to stay in school, do good, and try for a scholarship. Dumb fucking bitch sat there, nodding her head, saying "uh-huh" all the while knowing she was already pregnant. It was Jade of course. I should have kicked his fucking ass. He high-tailed it on a Div II basketball scholarship. Just to prove she hadn't just made a mistake, that she really was fucking stupid, Sissy got pregnant again. That time with a bigger fool than Jade. She delivered about the time the baby's daddy was taking that long slow bus ride to Allendale, down in Fairfax. He was a first time offender but no black man every got sent to a level 1 facility in South Carolina. Being black made you a level 2, medium-security, even if all you got busted for was going for a joyride without asking permission first.

On the bright side, such as there was, momma would have Sissy around to help, probably for the rest of her life. I help but I never send them cash money. Momma and Sissy both enjoyed their wine a little too much. I had them send me the bills I could afford to pay and paid them direct. They bitched about it but they like having cable TV too much to bitch very hard.

Bill's folks were good people. Ben and Meg had fed me and given me a place to stay while I looked for an apartment I could afford on my dwindling savings and part-time job. I had taken one look at my cousin's place, with its scattered pipes and bongs, picked up my suitcases and found the cheapest hotel I could find within walking distance of the bus.

Bill had been the first person I'd met in Norfolk, or at least the first person I'd met who acknowledged meeting me. I'd been in line to register for classes. I had half a notion they'd not let me start until the check cleared based on the way the gal behind the counter had been looking at me. She'd look at the check, look at my South Carolina driver's license and back. I'd been trying to keep my cool when I felt a hand on my shoulder.

"Man, I didn't know you were taken classes here?"

It was a dude I'd never met before. He had a goofy assed smile. He had ignored my look of confusion. "Dude, what you holding up the line for?" He turned to the lady behind the desk. "Ms. Green, should I call security? Or maybe I can just cut in line? It'll take you all day to straighten out this fella."

The chick behind the desk, older than my momma and twice the size, had opened her blue powdered eyes wide and smiled right back.

"Bill," she'd simpered. "How's your momma? I didn't know you boys was friends." She turned my check over, stamped it and pushed a packet of papers and pamphlets across the counter. "Here you go, Mr. Watson. You're all registered."

I thanked her with a smile that damn near killed me and stepped aside. I plopped into one of the scruffy chairs beside a table with cigarette burns around the edge and long narrow triangle of missing Formica and started looking at the little map included in the papers, trying to figure out where I needed to be next when Bill dropped into a the chair beside me.

"Hi, I'm Bill. Sorry about that. She's a bitch. For what it's worth, she hates damn near everybody."

"Especially, niggers is my guess." My voice had been cold. It was the only way I could hide the tears underneath it.

Bill nodded. "Yup, that's about the truth of the matter."

I appreciated the fact he hadn't bothered to lie.

"What are you signed up for?" he asked, sounding like he really wanted to know.

It turned out we were in two classes together. At lunch time he spotted me sitting off to one side on a low wall beneath a nice shade tree. He sat down without asking and started to eat his own lunch. I don't know, and I'll never ask, if he had seen my sad lunch of a couple slices of bread from the day old store and a single slice of cheese or not but he invited me to dinner. I was too damn hungry to say no.

He waited for an hour until my last class was over and drove me to his house. I was secretly relieved to see he drove an old Civic with spots of rust around the wheel wells and not some Mustang or Porsche or some shit like that. His house was a mansion compared to what I was used to but I knew for white folks it was modest.

Ben shook my hand. Megan had smiled and asked me if I was hungry, then yelled at Bill for not calling and warning her to fix a bigger supper. I tried to hide my shock. Why were they being this nice? Without any warning that their son was bringing home a black dude he'd just meet? At first I figured them for guilty liberals but even though I'm not the sharpest knife in the drawer, it didn't take me long to understand they was simply nice folks. It weren't any more complicated than that.

While Bill was introducing me to his folks, a girl appeared in the short hall leading to the bedrooms. She was drying her hair on a towel and asking what all the fuss was about. That was the first time I met Jill. At the time I hadn't noticed and now I'm not sure if I'm remembering things rightly or if my brain is playing tricks on me but looking back I believe Bill had a funny look on his face as he introduced me to his sister.

Over dinner, Megan politely pried as much of my story out of me as I was willing to share with folks I'd just met. It was quite a lot now that I think on it. When Mrs. Casey, I couldn't bring myself to even think of her as "Megan" of "Meg" for weeks, found out where I was staying. She dropped her fork and stared, open-mouthed, at me.

"James, you can't stay in that place. If you don't get shot, you'll get bed bugs, herpes and gonorrhea, and that's if you don't touch anything." She turned to Bill, who was looking amused. "After supper, you drive over there with James and get his stuff." She turned back to me. "Mark, Bill's brother is away at college, you can sleep in his bed until you find yourself a decent place. Bill is used to sharing a room."

"Mrs. Casey, I can't do that. It's too much..."

"Nonsense, James. I don't want to hear another word about it. I'm not about to let you spend another night in that horrible place."