"Shut up! No, you don't!" I heard my wife, Maya, exclaim to her best friend Nina from behind me.
"It's not that crazy nowadays," I heard Nina sharply replied.
The laughter of Maya, and Nina caught my attention, "What drama are you all gossiping about now?" I asked, flipping over the burgers on the grill. We had invited our friends Nina and her boyfriend Henry over for a Saturday barbeque.
"Your wife thinks it's crazy that..." Nina began before my wife cut her off.
"You're really going to tell him?" Maya asked.
"Like you're not going to tell him the second we leave anyway," Nina joked back to Maya.
"You're not wrong about that," Maya snipped back, sipping from her homemade margarita.
"Alright, alright, spit it out already," I said.
"Okay, Henry and I have been dabbling in the lifestyle," Nina answered.
"What lifestyle? You guys' vegan again? I just put burgers on for all of us?" I mocked.
"No! We... how do I say?... we've been experimenting with other couples in the bedroom," Nina clarified.
"I still don't believe it," Maya yelled clearly, a little intoxicated.
Just then the house sliding door slid open and Henry had returned from the restroom, "What I miss?"
"Your wife just spilled the beans that you and Nina have been taking trips down to the playboy mansion," I let out.
Henry laughed, "That joke is pretty dated ya know, but I would have totally been down to do that and plus would be less sketchy than some of the people we have chatted with online."
"So, this is not a joke? I need all the details! How many couples? How long?" Maya asked - she had always been a gossipy one.
"Uh 6.9 inches last I checked," Henry replied.
"No! How long have you all been doing this!" Maya clarified.
Pretty soon we had all plated our food and sat in a circle around our backyard makeshift fire pit.
"Henry's the one who introduced me to it, but I mean it is kinda liberating having sex with other couples in the same room or even in different rooms knowing he's getting off and I'm getting off. What can I say that's exciting," Nina explained.
"You're so nonchalant about all this! It's not weird? And you're a regular at this Henry?" Maya digging deeper.
"Yeah, monogamy wasn't really my thing. I've been a past cheater before - no more. Now instead of cheating it's a lifestyle I'm into. Everyone wins here," Henry explained.
"Would you all ever think about doing something like that?" Nina asked.
Maya turned her head quickly towards me, staring me in the eyes, "Doug, do you wanna answer first?"
I thought, "This is definitely a trick question, I can't keep quiet for too long that will imply something," so I said, "No, I mean, I don't know. We made a vow of marriage and even though you'd be there or agree would still feel like cheating, I think. Plus, they said they've spoken to some shady people online. That part in itself is enough to put me off."
"Good answer," Maya responded.
"What you wouldn't be down to swap?" Henry chimed into my wife.
"Oh, so this barbeque is you guys asking us to swap?" I laughed.
"No of course not, but hey gotta shoot your shot when you see an opening. We are all attractive and the market in this city is hard to navigate" Henry replied
"Yeah, there's people we find online who really just want to steal our pics, because you know you wanna see the other couple to see if they attractive, but they just take our pics, or they say they want to meet up then ghost us, or my favorite - this guy once showed up saying 'his wife couldn't make it,' like dude we clearly see your lying," Nina laughed.
"See and that sounds stressful!" I replied.
"Well, the door is always open," Henry said.
"Doesn't sound like just the doors open, Nina," Maya joked.
"MAYA!" Nina laughed.
"Okay, okay anyone want another hot dog, you horn dogs?" I joked back to the group.
"My husband, ladies and gentlemen!" Maya laughed, "And this is the guy you wanted to potentially have sex with?"
After some long laughs and more beers Henry and Nina headed home.
"That was fun," Maya said, laying on the living room couch with her legs sprawled out in her sweatpants.
"What do you really think?" I asked.
"What do I really think about what?"
"Shut up. You know what I mean, what do you think about their open relationship?" I pried.
"I think she's kinda crazy for doing it. Don't think I read between the lines of your answer earlier by the way. You'd totally have sex with Nina if I said it was okay."
"What? No," I quickly replied back in a high-pitched voice.
"Aha! Your voice went all high pitched which means you're lying! Fine, go have sex with her. I see how you look at her ass every time she gets up to do anything."
She may have caught me. My wife, Maya is 26, a beautiful dark skinned Mexican, however naturally somewhat fit she doesn't work out as much as Nina, 26, does. Nina and Henry, 28, are the type that go surfing, play volleyball and their bodies show it. They are the type I lurk on social media anytime they post new beach day photos. A better example would be Henry, Nina, and I do 5Ks while Maya watches, not that she can't do them she just thinks it's dumb that we do them.
"No, I don't," rebutting her comment of me staring at her ass.
"Half of me always wondered if you ran behind Nina in those 5K's just to stare at her ass," Maya said.
"No! She's genuinely faster than me," I disputed.
"So, you wouldn't have sex with them if I agreed?" Maya asked.
I shrugged.
"I KNEW it!" Maya yelled not angry but more joyful that she finally caught an honest answer out of me.
"I don't know if it sounds scary, but potentially fun? Also why is this all on me? Would you have sex with Henry?"
"What are we even talking about?" Maya sidestepping the question.
"Hey! You're the one who brought it up!" I pointed, laughing back.
"You'd really wanna have sex with Nina?"
"I'm not going to play the I'm a man card, but you're dangling sex in front of me. Of course, my instincts are to say maybe," clarifying my stance.
"And you'd be okay with Henry having sex with me? I can't believe this."
"Sex is a dangerous weapon," I joked.
"Okay I'm going to text her right now to set it up!" Maya said, grabbing her phone.
"Do it! I don't think you will!"
"Be careful what you wish for Mister Douglas. After it's all said and done, I think you're the one who's going to be feeling bad about all this."
Maya flashed me her phone with a sent text to Nina:
Maya: Doug says he's willing to try the swapping thing.
"No, you didn't!"
Nina texted back.
Nina: WHAT?" No way? With us? What do you think?
Maya: We are down to try...
Nina: You are so drunk. Aren't you?
Maya: Possibly.
Nina: Text me again when you are not drunk. LOL
"Tomorrow when we aren't drunk let's see how you feel about things?" Maya said to me.
The next morning came. We didn't bring up the topic again - instead we laid around the house on a lazy Sunday and put on our sun hats and began picking weeds in the front yard. After about 25minutes of picking weeds Henry's truck unexpectedly pulled up to the house.
"You set this up fast?" I joked to Maya.
"This is a surprise to me. I haven't talked to Nina all morning," Maya replied back wiping sweat from her forehead.