New Doctor

Some of you asked via email about where I have been.

Let's just say that we old men should stay OFF of Harley Davidson trikes. *LOL* Maybe I will write THAT disaster later.

I really do hate hospitals.

This short tale is my wife Debra's fault.

+++

There is nothing unique about my needing to train a new Doctor. Around here, physicians are in what I call "musical chairs" situations as every medical facility does everything in their power to hire any promising physicians away from each other.

Often, even the ones NOT so promising. The nationwide shortage of medical people is quite real.

Less populated coastal communities like ours get short changed.

My wife Debra runs the local clinic, about four years ago, right after old Doc Barker passed away, she was offered the job that she had been doing anyway. Doc Barker was the required figurehead, well into his 80's. He was quite the character, the nurses all knew to never let him see any female patients, because if they came in for sniffles he would have them "gown up." So, he mostly sat in his office, smoking cigars and sipping whiskey, signing a few forms the nurses gave him.

The nurses ran everything, and my Debra ran the nurses. One of the nurses sadly found Doc Barker in his office, glass of whiskey on his desk, ever present cigar still lit in the ash tray. He just went to sleep, didn't wake up.

So, needing an on staff certified Doctor, the system turned to my Debra. One year left for her degree, and somehow they counted her 3 decades as a nurse towards some internship I didn't quite get the need for. She had been offered and had taken the Nurse Practitioner position way back, dropping out of graduate school to do that. She was in a bad breakup with a boyfriend at the time, short of money, so she didn't finish the last year. The coast was home for her, her family owned property, she knew just about everyone already.

Perfect.

Now they paid her to go finish her degree, the salary went from 75K a year to 225K , not that hard to deal with. She agreed to serve for a decade in exchange for them paying everything.

Yes, Doctors really are in that short of supply, good ones are even more scarce, and my Debra is a proven good one.

That long year was very hard on our relationship, it damn near did us in. Things happened that never should have, one brief interlude occurred that then took her six months to tell me about. That six months hurt far more than what she did. Full sex with someone else was against our rather liberal lifestyle. Bad enough a one night stand, then keeping it secret? For six long months?

The truth there is she was ashamed, and frightened. She knew I would not take it well, and I didn't. We separated for a few weeks, but that was even more wrong for us than the incident.

What did I want? I wanted Debra, and everything like it was before. The truth is, once faith is shaken, it is tough to overcome.

Still, it became that, just an "incident". We still loved and cared for each other, neither one of us wanted to be alone. Both of us had sex with others long before we even met, so it really wasn't all that different.

Things got crazy for a few weeks, that wasn't going to work either. I ended up just as guilty as Debra was. I wanted things like they were before, so did she.

So, we talked and I have to say it's all settled now.

At least I think so. It seems that all of us are flawed human beings, given the right circumstances.

+++

"I have you scheduled to see Doctor Leann Conners on Thursday, honey." Debra told me as soon as she got home from work.

"Why?" I asked. I am one of those guys that if it can be done, I will avoid going anywhere near a physician. I mean, bad enough when I have to, I have had a few medical upsets over the years, and I support several drug companies due to the blood pressure meds they have me on.

Besides, I have a perfectly good Doctor right here at home, and in bed with me every night. Of course, SHE can't be my Doctor, some crazy ethics shit and all of that. So, I have to go see someone else.

Leann Conners, my new physician. I did what anyone else would do in today's world, I googled her.

"Yikes!", I said, when the photo appeared on my screen.

"What, honey?" Debs called out at my exclamation.

"Is this her?" Debs came over and looked. I mean, wow. This gal was cute.

"Yep!" She grinned and walked away.

Cool.

My wife is uninhibited, completely lacking in jealousy, and about as naughty as a woman can be. Her life revolves around healing people and making sure they (and I) enjoy life. Of course, this also means that she enjoys life too.

Now if you ever saw her exercise regimen just before bed each night? I could video that, sell them, and make a fortune. I will never get tired of it, that I know for sure.

She even did that routine on stage once at a men's club I pretend to belong to. Wearing a mask so no one would recognize her, of course I did. Now if you guys have never seen your wife do a stage show naked in front of some 30 white haired old coots, you just haven't lived.

She lay down on a small rug, spread her legs for them, right in front of me!

Lord, was that hot!

OK, OK. I am a pervert, but then? So are you, you are reading this stuff.

+++

Doctors. Since I have been enrolled in the current system, there has been a steady stream. Not counting specialists, I have dealt with 9 different ones, some registered nurses, some physician assistants, and a couple were actual Doctors.

This new one, Leann Conners, turned out to be a Registered Nurse Practitioner. That is just an almost Doctor that normally looks at the patient rather than the computer screen.

"I hope to God this doesn't turn out to be another of those one year wonders." I complained to Debra.

"I don't think so, honey. She graduated from high school here, her family owns property here, and she and her husband bought a house here. Her husband bought the Ace Hardware franchise in the next town over, so I think we have a solid asset."

"Great, I sure hope so." I went into the living room and promptly forgot all about it.

+++

My phone rang a few days later, it was one of the nurses calling to remind me about my 10 AM appointment the next day. I used to know all of the nurses, but this was another new one. I told her I would be there, then promptly forgot all about it again.

Debs reminded me the next morning as she was leaving for the office, I sighed, put my fishing gear away. Yes, I had forgotten again..

No way out, oh well. My last full physical was years ago, of course I have received lots of medical attention during that period since. I wasn't really looking forward to it, I knew damn good and well they would be poking at stuff, probably a finger up my butt.

10 AM found me sitting in the waiting room, expecting a nice 60 to 90 minute wait. That is the way it used to be when old Doc Barker was in charge, my Debra has that fixed. I sat there for two whole minutes before Stephanie came to get me.

Stephanie is the one fixture at this clinic, she is about 5 feet tall and shaped close to exactly the same as my bowling ball. She has been there for about a decade, maybe longer. She is what I call a kind of, sort of nurse? Which means, she greets people, takes them back, gets blood pressure and temperature, asks a pile of questions so she can update the physician on what is going on.

She is very good at her job, since over the years she has seen it all. At least, that is what I think, anyway. If I were to hazard a guess, she has a small crush on me.

And, she is a sweetheart!

+++

"Hi, Danny! Come on back, you get to see Leann today." Big bright smile, I happen to know Stephanie likes me. Probably because I am always cracking jokes, we have had some quite long term conversations, mildly naughty ones, lots of good laughs.

"138 over 65, 97%, pulse is 58, good." She told me.

"Ain't dead yet, then?"

"Nope, you will live to be 120 if you keep this up." She grinned.

"Swell, just what I need. Too old to do anything, everything hurts, and I will have to put up with it for decades?"

"Yep! Take off your shirt."

"You first." I said. Stephanie giggled at that, we must have been through this part at least a dozen times. We flirt mercilessly, I suppose some of my wisecracks could be considered sexual harassment, but that stuff is just for politicians and actresses, I think.

Besides, Stephanie less than half my age, and probably weighs as much as I do.

"I would love to, but we have all of these silly rules." She batted her eyes at me. I peeled off my shirt, she listened to my lungs, my heart. Way back, the Doctor/Nurse/PA did that, but having Stephanie do it speeds up the works, one of my wife Debra's ideas.

She is well aware that Stephanie, while still being what is called a candy striper, is also fully qualified to find anything abnormal, and if she does she passes that on, so the Doctor comes in prepared. Probably this would not work in some clinics, but my wife Debra's way of running things is unlike any other clinic I have ever been in. She keeps things on time and efficient. Plus, she is no figurehead, she takes a steady stream of patients herself.

"Good, still not dead yet." Stephanie wisecracked, making some notes on her form.

"OK, let's check your leg." It seems there was an incident with my Trike, so they had to fix my leg and both wrists, that took a couple of months to heal. The trike sits in my garage, still not fixed yet.

"Looks pretty good." She said after poking around, watching me move things.

"OK, Mrs. Conners wants to familiarize herself with your body, so go ahead and gown up. You get to take off EVERYTHING today." She smirked at me, then winked.

"Why?" I asked.

"Full physical exam. Your wife ordered it." She let out a small titter and left the room.

Just great. This probably meant a finger up my butt, which I don't really mind all that much but still. Better with someone you know and like than a stranger. I got undressed, managed to get the gown on. Cloth ones now, Debra got rid of the paper ones, thank God.

I found some tissue and carefully wiped, I didn't want anything that might have slipped to show. (When you guys get to be my age, you will understand.)

In minutes, there was the knock and in came Mrs. Conners , Stephanie right behind her. Big grin on her face, which told me what was coming.

Male genitals will be coming out, two people in the room, that is so no one can claim they were sexually abused or harassed. It didn't used to always be that way, a few things have happened over the years. Hell, I don't care, but I can see that some folks might, and Mrs. Conners did not know me, of course.

What my Debs told her about me though, lord knows. That part, you would need to know Debs to understand. The best description for my wife is completely uninhibited, she openly admits she loves her job, she gets to deal with just about everything you can imagine. Plus, she has had way more dicks in her hands than even the most active hooker, all in the name of medical intervention, of course.

She admits that she really enjoys that part, it makes her feel powerful, in charge. I am supposed to be jealous about that, but I'm not. Things happen in this clinic that just do not happen in most, the truth is that it means they find issues most physicians just don't.

Things like, if you are not enjoying a normal sex life, they want to know why not. So, any one of the providers just might ask if you manage normal erections. Think about that for a second, when was the last time your own physician asked that question?

Used to that in Debra's clinic, I was braced. Here was a youthful and very attractive female nurse, about to give me a work over.

"Hello, Dan. I'm Leann Conners, you have been assigned to me. Your wife Debra suggested that since it is a long time since your last full checkup, that we do that today so we have a full hour and a half. I see your stats look very good. Please stand and turn sideways."

I stood up. She walked around behind me, spread the gown open and looked.

"Good posture and movement." She reached inside the gown, felt around my stomach, my back.

"Deep breaths." She said, her hands pressing my abdomen from behind. I did as she asked, totally aware that I was naked, her arms wrapped around my belly. I realized she was feeling for a pulse, a sign of an Aneurysm, which I knew about, having had one repaired.

"OK, lay down on the table, I want to check your abdomen with you prone." I knew why, she saw on the report that I had a stent put in. That was found by one of my better Doctors a few years ago, with her fingertips. An ultrasound was taken that afternoon, and I was in emergency surgery the very next day. That all happened back when my blood pressure was spiking to 220/110 which is not good.

Leann was reaching under the gown, then she tugged up the gown, exposing me. I saw that somewhere in there, she had put on a latex glove. Then she was basically feeling my balls, next she reached up and lifted my dick, turning it left and right.

This was different, usually I would be standing up for this part. I glanced at Stephanie, she was pretending to not be looking, but she kept sneaking glances and trying to hide her smile. Now Stephanie has seen my stuff at least 3 or 4 times before, it's cute because she looks, and blushes at the same time.

"Please spread your legs, Dan." The Doctor asked, so I did.

Lord. She wrapped on hand around my dick, turned it back and forth.

"Nicely formed, above average size, no abnormal bends, good. Testicles feel clear, no swelling." Then she slid my foreskin back, turned it this way and that again, inspecting. That caused things to begin to react, of course. Leann just smiled, let go and tugged the gown back down.

"Normal response, good. OK, turn over, onto your knees on the table."

This was different, too, I was used to them doing the prostate check with me lying on my side, but I did as she asked. She flipped the gown up, baring my back side.

"Spread your knees a little, please." She asked.

Her finger was slender so it wasn't uncomfortable, although glancing between my knees at Stephanie looking at my butt hole was uncomfortable.

Mercifully, that part was done quickly, and after another 10 minutes or so of checking, hell, she even inspected my toes, Leann announced she was done.

"Just one more thing, because of the enlarged Prostate, your wife wants samples taken to test for blood, bacteria. Can you handle that today?"

My Debra knows all about my enlarged prostate, since she sometimes checks that at home.

"What kind of samples?" I asked.

"We will need stool, urine, and sperm also." I swear she smirked at saying that.

"I.. uhh.." I managed.

"I see from the notes you have difficulty doing some of that." She looked up at me and smiled. My mind flashed back to my Medicare physical, they sent me to this little room with two jars. Pissing in the one was easy, the other one was not. Playboy magazine does nothing for me, and back then I had no sex partner and had just about given up on solo sexuality.

That ended with an older nurse named Jennifer coming in, no nonsense, she just yanked the sample out of me and was back out the door in 60 seconds. That experience I would not believe if someone told me, but it happened. One thing I did learn, a man can orgasm without being erect.

"That was way back, my Medicare physical. They had this lady.. I mean.. she..?" My voice trailed off, it's not easy to discuss being unable to masturbate, then getting whacked off with a female physician, especially an older and not so cute one. Probably I sounded a little defensive.

"Oh. yes. I see from the notes... Well, I suppose...? Can you manage that yourself today, or will we need to...?" Leann said, hesitating.

I was thinking just crap. They kept notes about... THAT?

"Jennifer is not in today, Doctor." Stephanie said.

"Oh. Well, I guess we will just have to reschedule."

"Maybe I can manage." I mumbled. Sitting in some Doctor's office cuts into my fishing time, and the Perch were running in the river. I would have been out there already except I was sitting here.

"If we have to, I can do it, if it's all right I mean. That way Danny won't need to schedule another appointment." Stephanie piped up with, her face almost instantly turning even more scarlet.

I looked at her in surprise. Did Stephanie just suggest that SHE could do it?

They both looked at me. I looked back, the usual wisecracks I am normally full of didn't come.

"I think... Stephanie, you aren't..? Give me a minute, I will be right back." Leann left, so here Stephanie and I sat there in silence, looking at each other. The door opened, Mrs. Conners was back.

"Debra says it's fine, no problem. Go ahead, get the samples and take them down to the lab, OK?" She gave me a sidelong grin and left again.

Stephanie and I looked at each other, finally she opened a nearby cabinet, got a little bottle, handed it to me. Then she produced a small box.

"When you have a bowel movement, take a sample at the start, then another after, OK?"

"OK."

"Use this for the... sperm sample." She handed me a smaller jar.

"Man, I hope it's big enough." I wisecracked. Stephanie looked at me, then it hit her and she giggled.

"God, Danny, you are so funny." With that, she led me down to the little room. I swear, there sat the exact same Playboy magazine they had in there at my last physical. I thought to myself I should talk to Debra about that.

Maybe put a computer in there, the internet is full of stuff that should work. I mean, Playboy? Come on..

Stephanie left, I did the urine thing, then managed to do the feces wipes, slipping those in the small envelopes.

Now, the hard part. Maybe I am different, I don't know for sure, but I can not even remember the last time I masturbated. Not with a female like Debra around, if any sexuality is even possible, she is involved.

But I tried, I really did. I am sure none of you believe that, but I did. I just could not get the vision of way back when Jennifer was suddenly in the room out of my mind. How she managed that, I don't know, not even to this day. It didn't help that I was concerned that my new Doctor or Stephanie would think I couldn't get it up, even though at home with Debs I have no concerns at all.

Say what you will, whacking off in a little room, voices all around, everyone out there knowing damn good and well what you are doing in that little room, is NOT a stimulating experience.

+++

Probably 20 minutes later, Stephanie knocked on the door.

"Danny? Is everything going OK?" She asked.

"Not really." I was maybe 25% there, and not gaining one bit.

"May I come in?"

"Sure." I tugged the gown down.

"Are you OK?" She asked as she stepped in.

"Yeah, it's just that... I don't really do this myself, so it's difficult."

"Do you just want to... I mean.. I can try and help, or I can leave if you want me to. We need this room, there are patients waiting. I can reschedule when Jennifer is back."

The situation had Stephanie blushing again, normally she seemed to be in control but now she was clearly flustered.

An impish moment came over me, I couldn't help myself.

"Maybe you can do it, it's OK." I told her. Her face went even more bright red. But, she reached out and tugged my gown up.

"Do you want to lie back, or sit up?" She asked.

"Either one is fine." I stayed sitting up.

"OK.. well." She reached out and grasped my penis, which was still limp. I saw that she had forgotten to put a glove on, but I said nothing. Her ministrations were really amateurish, and while I was responding a little bit, it was clear I was not fully erect.