My Willing Disgrace Pt 01

At first blush, I seem pretty ordinary. Kinda vanilla, maybe even boring. Few people suspect that I have another, kinkier side to me. To put it bluntly: I am an exhibitionist. I am a submissive or, as one of my mistresses once so eloquently put it, a shame slut. I get off on being exposed, degraded and humiliated. Especially in public. Finding myself stripped and put on display in front of people, losing control of my dignity, hearing them laughing and taunting me... it gets me wet just thinking about it.

I've indulged in this kink, many times. I have had my clothes taken from me, shown off to strangers, to people I know, even to people who hate and disrespect me - sometimes willingly, sometimes without a choice. And then I've been debased further, made to crawl, to demean myself, to masturbate, even fuck. Now these are intense events, ones that few people get to experience. They ought to be dreadful, traumatic situations to face, and they are, no doubt about it. There's shame of course, and fear. They are often overwhelming, harrowing... but also, intoxicating. And intensely arousing.

The closest thing I can compare them to is a really good horror film. A film that is so scary that you almost can't watch it - you sit there, trembling, the remote in your hand, ready to instantly flip the channel if it gets too much. It stays with you afterward, keeping you up, sleepless with the lights on. And despite all the negatives, you find yourself craving more.

Of course, it was a long time since I last found myself in such a predicament. I think it would be difficult to replicate today. I was at my most shameless in the time before smartphones were ubiquitous. My exposure was limited to whoever was present. My infamy spread through word of mouth, and although there was much gossip about me, the rumors lost credibility with time, and the stories faded into urban legend. Nowadays, I mostly engage in my fetish vicariously through porn, or nostalgically, by reminiscing about my crazy, slutty past.

This is an account of where it all started. My sexual awakening, when I first discovered my kink. I was 18, and it was my final year of high school...

THE BULLIES

There was a group of students at school that everyone knew to avoid. Bullies. There were five of them. Two boys, Harper and Dylan, and three girls named Sophie, Olivia and Ava. Ava was the figurehead. She was devious. She wasn't just mean, she was also very smart. If she'd applied herself, she probably could have been a straight A student, but she preferred to use her talent to get under people's skin.

They'd mostly hang out together, smoking in a dark corner of the school, and harass anyone who came close. As I said, I was in my final year, and up until then, they hadn't really bothered me much. I knew to stay out of their way.

It was an accident, an honest mistake. We were in the yard, I had a soda. I slipped on something, and spilled my drink all over Ava's shirt. The place grew silent. She looked at me with fury, and I knew I was screwed. I tried to apologize, but it was fruitless. I had seen them go after people for a lot less. I thought I was gonna get beat up, but Ava had other plans.

She told me that since I ruined her shirt, that I would have to switch with her. Give her my shirt. I asked if we could go to the locker rooms. She grinned and said no. Her friends were around me. Some students in the distance were watching.

I think most people, even if they were scared, would probably refuse. Instead, I lifted off my shirt and gave it to her. I kept my gaze fixed on her, trying to distract myself from the other students whispering behind me.

The idea, I thought, was that we'd switch - I give her my shirt, she gives me hers. They laughed at my naivety. The group kept my shirt, and Ava didn't even put it on. I felt humiliated, not only because of my exposure but also my gullibility. I tried to keep calm, and reason with them to give me my shirt back. As I did, Sophie tugged at my bra hook, and it came loose. Reflexively, I put up my hands to keep my bra in place, hanging unbuttoned on my shoulders. Before they could make it worse I ran, hearing their mocking laughs behind me.

Luckily, I had some gym clothes in my locker I could put on. Still, sprinting through the school in just my bra was so embarrassing. Even worse, it turns out one of the students who watched me in the yard was Hazel, my rival. We had been friends in middle school, but we fell out hard. I don't remember over what, some petty bullshit no doubt. The important thing is that she hated me, and I hated her. And when I got to class, she was telling everyone the story about how Ava had conned me out of my shirt.

I went home that day pretty upset. I went straight up to my room, threw myself on the bed and cried. But that night, I found myself thinking back on that incident. And as I did, I got turned on. I started touching myself, recalling the details of the event. I would even expand on it. In my mind, they didn't stop at the bra, they took that too. Then they held my hands behind my back and led me topless through the school, banging on classroom doors to get students attention. That image took me over the edge.

Afterward, I thought that was a very silly thing to imagine. "Silly". I didn't understand at that point, just how perverted I was. I was still snoozing - it would take another encounter for me to truly wake up.

A DAY AT THE LAKE

Fantasies aside, I mostly stayed out of their way after that. But fate would soon bring us together again. It was the weekend, and a nice warm day, so I decided to go down to the lake for a swim. I arrived in the evening, around five or six o'clock, so the crowd had thinned out, and only a handful of people hung around. There were no changing rooms or anything like that at the lake, so I changed into my swimsuit under a towel.

While in the water, I heard voices from the shore. Ava, Dylan, Harper, Sophie and Olivia - the whole demonic gang - had arrived, and they were setting up just where I had left my clothes! Memories of our last encounter were still fresh in my mind. I got anxious, thinking they were gonna harass me. But I didn't have much of a choice. I couldn't stay in the water forever, and all my stuff was there.

I returned to shore. Ava saw me before I made it out of the water. "Hey look! It's the klutz!" The gang all focused on me. I came up to them. They smelled of beer and weed. "This is our spot now." they said. "You best get out of here, we don't want your clumsy ass spilling shit all over our stuff."

"Alright, I get it. I was just going anyway." I said, and went for my towel.

I should have just grabbed my stuff and left, that would have been the smart thing to do. Instead, I did something very, very stupid. To this day, I don't know if I just wasn't thinking, or if I was subconsciously sabotaging myself. Whatever came over me, the decision I made at that point changed my life forever.

See, instead of taking my stuff and leaving, I decided to change first. I grabbed my towel and wrapped it around me. Then I peeled off my bathing suit underneath. As my suit hit the ground, I realized my mistake. I was naked, in just a towel, standing in the midst of five inebriated bullies. I was like a sheep walking up to a pack of wolves and slathering myself in barbecue sauce. They were not gonna let this opportunity go to waste.

"On second thought, why don't you stay for one last dip?"

Olivia started tugging at my towel, and soon Sophie joined her and started tugging from the back. I held on to it for dear life while they toyed with me. "Please stop!" I begged. To my surprise, they did. What I hadn't realized was that they were just a distraction. While they kept me busy, the others had taken all my clothes.

There was an old rowboat next to a small dock. The gang tossed my clothes in the rowboat, and then pushed it away from the dock. I watched it carry my clothes out towards the middle of the lake and stay there. With a sinking feeling in my chest, I realized I was trapped. If I wanted my clothes back, I had no choice but to swim out there...

That's when I felt the first stirrings of arousal, bubbling up beneath the humiliation. I had lost all control. As frightening as that was, there was also excitement, like I was swept up in a giant wave. I was struck by hyperawareness. I felt conscious of every part of my body. The wind on my skin, the dirt beneath my bare feet. The flush on my face and chest. The stiffness of my nipples, and the wetness between my thighs, warmer than the water of the lake. I felt alive.

I went out on the dock. Glancing back, I saw everyone in the gang watching me, grinning maliciously. Ava made some comment about breaststroke, eliciting laughter from her friends. I took a deep breath... then I let my towel fall, bare ass exposed to the group. I dived in and started swimming.

Getting to the rowboat was easy, but it was only the start of my problems. It had a rope, and I had to drag it toward the shore... where Ava and her gang were waiting to see my exit. There was no ladder on the dock, so I had to walk out of the water on the shore. The last stretch of water was shallow, and I had to wade through it. I was completely exposed, and the bullies laughed and jeered at me the entire time. The water was cold, but my cheeks were burning.

I finally made it out of the water. The bullies had my towel, so I considered it lost. I started getting dressed while still wet. This made the clothes cling to my skin, dragging out my exposure and making me look so foolish. I ran away from the mocking group, half dressed in wet clothes holding back tears. I had never felt so humiliated in my entire life... and at the same time, I had never been so turned on.

Halfway home, I parked my bike near the edge of the road, went into the treeline far enough to have some privacy, and started masturbating. I came hard. And once I got home, I took a shower and came again.

PLAYING WITH FIRE

Come monday, the gang had already started spreading the story around, telling everyone about the hilarious lakeside prank they pulled on me. They also had a nickname for me that started to spread - Skinnydipper. Not the catchiest name, but it served its purpose of cementing my reputation as the girl who got caught naked by the bad kids. Most people had the good sense to only use it behind my back, snickering in the hallway as I passed, but of course Hazel was all too eager to throw it directly in my face.

Hazel's mocking was probably the worst part, or at least the most frustrating part, because of our history. We would often snipe at each other, and I usually gave as good as I got. But now the balance had shifted. If I got catty, all she had to do to shut me up is call me Skinnydipper.

As bad as all that was, the day at the lake had been a revelation for me. I had not known why the bra incident had turned into such a potent fantasy, but now I knew - I had a humiliation fetish. It was as clear as day. The mix of shame and arousal was such a potent cocktail, utterly intoxicating. The loss of control was scary, and the bullying was harsh, but that made it real, and I had experienced nothing like it. I relived my experience every night while masturbating, my whole body quivering from powerful orgasms.

I knew I wanted more.

The first two encounters were accidents or a twist of fate. The next ones were intentional. I would deliberately put myself in the bullies' path. I'd separate from my friends to go past their hangout spots. I would try to orchestrate situations where they would catch me alone, baiting them to do something.

They wouldn't always take the bait, but sometimes they did. They'd surround me, push me around, make fun of me. They called me Skinnydipper, but they were also fond of bitch, slut and loser. They'd always make me feel like shit, and a few times I went away crying. I would regret seeking them out, cursing my stupidity... and then I would revisit those moments while touching myself, and repeat the cycle again.

It's important to stress that these weren't good people. They were mean and spiteful. They did not like me, and took pleasure in hurting me. And it did hurt, let's be clear. It was a weird dichotomy. It was painful, but it led to such pleasure. I hated it every time, but not as much as I loved it.

One time, I was walking with my friends to class when I saw Ava and a few other girls entering a bathroom. "I need to powder my nose." I told my friends. "Go ahead, I'll catch up." I passed two bathrooms crossing the hall to get to the one where the gang was.

I found them inside, smoking and putting on makeup. It was Ava and Olivia from the lake, as well as another girl I didn't know.

"Well well, if it isn't Skinnydipper." Ava said when I entered. The unknown girl perked up.

"You're Skinnydipper?" she asked. They'd been talking about me. "Uh, yes..." I answered, blushing. The girl giggled.

"So you really jumped in the lake buck naked?"

"I didn't have much of a choice."

"I wish I could have seen that." the girl said. Ava took that comment as a request.

Olivia was behind me, Ava at my side, the new girl in front of me. It was a scare tactic, and it did make me wonderfully uneasy. Ava told me to be a good sport and show the girl what she'd missed. They were passive. They were gonna make me do it.

I lifted up my shirt to my neck and pulled down my bra, exposing my breasts to the girl. "Nice rack." she said while giggling. "Hold still" Ava commanded. Then she took her lipstick and traced a circle around both my breasts, and a curved line on my stomach. This produced the shape of a big smiley face on my body. They laughed. I kept still, letting them see me as long as they wanted. I was so worried someone else was gonna come in. Eventually, they all filed out, and I adjusted my clothes.

We had made this obstacle course during gym class. Afterward, I volunteered to put everything back. I knew Ava and her cohorts would be in the next class. I was deliberately taking my time. When I was done, I went into the locker room and stripped off my clothes. I had timed it, so that when the next class came in, I was naked and about to enter the shower. I wanted them to know I was there, alone and helpless.

I briefly locked eyes with Ava, then I went into the shower. My legs were shaking at this point. I could hear giggling and whispered conversations from the locker room. They must be planning something, I thought. My mind was racing with possibilities. Would they leave and take my clothes? Maybe drag me out into the hallway naked?

As anticipation built, it started to dawn on me how over my head I was. I had put myself at the mercy of people who only wanted to make my life miserable. And while the lake was fairly isolated, this was my school. If they did something to me here, it would be in front of people I had to face every day. Regret came over me, and I almost started to panic as I realized it was too late now, I was in it.

I wrapped my towel around me, like at the lake. My heart was racing. With trembling steps, I walked into the locker room. It was empty. My clothes were still there. I felt such huge relief.

I don't know why they didn't take the bait that time. Perhaps they didn't want to try anything in front of their classmates. Perhaps they just weren't in the mood. And maybe that should have been a wake up call, a chance to stop before things got out of hand... but things had already been set in motion. The next time, it wouldn't be me looking for trouble.

STUDY AND CONTEMPLATION

About a day after the locker room, Ava sought me out. I was in the library, doing research for a school project. I was in my own world of study and didn't sense her. She came up behind me and snatched my notebook. Now taking my clothes was one thing, but I had worked hard on this project, and I needed the grade, so that notebook was important to me. I didn't want anything to happen to it. She ran off into the stacks, and I followed her. It was of course a trap. The chase led out of sight from the staff and other students, where Olivia, Sophie and Harper were waiting for me.

Ava held up my book tauntingly. She said if I wanted it back, I had to do as they said. I nodded. She told me to turn around and put my hands on the wall. I did. She told me to keep them there or else I'd be sorry. I believed her. Then I felt my pants being tugged down to my ankles.

Olivia kept lookout while the others took turns spanking my ass. They used my notebook to do it. Harper in particular was brutal. He's quite strong, and it took effort to keep from crying out and alerting someone about what was happening.

It only lasted a minute or so, though it felt longer. Dull pain emanated from my sore bottom. I was blushing, and Olivia made a comment about how my ass and my face were the same shade of red. "See ya later, Ass-face." she said, and she and Sophie sauntered off laughing. Harper took the opportunity to squeeze my bare ass before also taking off. Ava lingered. "I wonder who enjoyed that more, Harper or you?" A chill went down my spine. Did she know?

She walked away, dropping my notebook unceremoniously. I waited until her footsteps faded in the distance. Then I pulled up my pants, dried my tears and picked up my book.

THE BET

Ava's parting words had left me kind of shaken. I didn't know what it meant. Was it just a stray comment that happened to hit too close to home? Or did she actually see through me? My actions so far had been calculated to give me plausible deniability. I didn't want to be known as a kinky freak who sought out abuse. Better to be seen as just a normal girl with a bullying problem. But Ava was incredibly sharp, not easily fooled. She would have made a fantastic therapist, or a cold reader or a scam artist.

I ultimately landed on her not having figured it out. She was just taunting me, had to be. Still, I couldn't help fantasizing. What if she knew the truth? Would she lose interest if she knew that I actually enjoyed the abuse? I doubted that. I think more likely she'd escalate, see how far she could push me. It made me mad horny, imagining what depths of depravity she'd send me down. And that was the headspace I was in when a few days later, the gang gave me an offer too tantalizing to ignore.

Ava and the others approached me in the halls and challenged me with a bet after school. She wanted to play a game with high stakes. If I won, she told me that she and the rest would leave me alone for the rest of high school. They wouldn't tease me in the halls, wouldn't call me names or try to strip me of my dignity. But if she won, she'd own me. For the rest of high school, I would have to do whatever she wanted whenever she asked... I would be her bitch.

The bet was pointedly unfair. The stakes were ludicrously one-sided. They had picked the game, the venue, and made the rules. No doubt they'd play dirty. And who's to say they'd honor their end of the bet anyway if I won?... but I wasn't planning on winning.

I knew right away that I was in over my head. That this would be the point when things finally and irrevocably spiraled out of my control. I felt it in my bones, and I felt it in my sex. Losing meant becoming a slave to the meanest, most devious girl in the school. She would humiliate me, make me a laughing stock. The idea was absolutely terrifying. It was also the hottest thing I could ever imagine. I accepted the wager.

There was an old playground/skatepark that was badly maintained. The asphalt was cracked, the rails were scratched and the single quarter pipe had a hole in the middle making it unusable. Rather than renovate it, a new skatepark had been built, and the old one had fallen out of favor. This made it an ideal hangout spot for miscreants, such as Ava and her friends. They were all waiting for me there.