It began as a classic British hen weekend. Just out of university, our friend Helen was about to become the first in our group to tie the knot, and to mark the looming event 15 of her assorted friends had bought budget flights to Berlin, staying in a pokey hotel in a run down part of the city. The plan was simple: drink loads, hopefully arrange an embarrassing stripper for the bride-to-be and then dance the night away in a cheesy night club.
We were already drunk by the time we landed on Friday evening. The plan was to drop our stuff at the hotel, quickly get ready and head straight out. We left the hotel around 10pm - there were varying outfits on display, ranging from the casual skinny jeans and top combinations, to overly sexy body-con dresses and skirts. I went for jeans, heels and my Ralph Lauren blazer over a strappy top.
As our taxis pulled up outside the club, it was immediately obvious that someone had got their wires crossed. The loud beat coming from inside didn't sound like the chart music that Helen had asked for and, more importantly, the people queuing outside were wearing an assortment of fetish wear and there was a lot of flesh on display.
After a quick word with the bouncer, 4 taxis carrying 13 of our friends made a swift exit - now heading to the right place. I was about to jump in the final taxi when my friend Danni called me back, "Lisa, fancy a quick drink here? We can catch the others up."
To be honest, I was in no hurry to join the others. The thought of dancing to pop music surrounded by teens really didn't appeal. "Sure, a drink here sounds good," I responded to Danni.
However, before we got though the door, the friendly bouncer put up his hand. In perfect English he explained that the club had a strict fetish/exhibitionist dress code. I guess I looked a bit out of place.
"Don't worry, we can change," I quickly reassured the bouncer. What was I saying?! The bouncer nodded, pointing to a small cloakroom just though the doors.
Danni and I burst out laughing as we entered, "What the fuck Lisa! What we supposed to change into?" she asked.
I wasn't worried - I've always loved playing around around with my clothes to create weird and wonderful costumes and I was confident that we could adapt our outfits for the occasion.
Crouched behind a line of coats, I said to Danni, "Now watch and learn!" I kicked of my heels and wriggled out of my jeans, now slightly regretting the plain grey knickers I'd thrown on earlier. I reached into my handbag and pulled out the pair of tights I always carried in case of an emergency (although this wasn't quite the emergency I had in mind). I pulled on the semi-opaque tights and, taking my inspiration from a university halloween party i'd once been to, I proceeded to strategically rip them in various places, exposing flashes of skin on my thighs and around my bum. Next, i took off my top and bra before putting my blazer back on with just the bottom button done up. There was a good half of each boob on display while the hem of the blazer just about covered my bum. "Voila!" I said to Danni as I stepped back into my heels and gave her a twirl.
Danni clapped her approval. "Ok, now me!" she demanded. Danni was super easy - she was wearing a black satin sleeveless top and, without her jeans on, it looked like the most micro of micro dresses. She also removed her bra so that the sides of both her boobs could be seen.
We stored our discarded clothes and left the cloakroom. A thumbs up from the bouncer indicated that we now met his dress code.