My Penance

My Penance—How My Ex Tried to Make Me Jealous

The following is indented for ADULTS ONLY. If you are under 18 or are offended by stories of a sexual nature, STOP NOW. This story takes place in a FANTASY world with no AIDS or STDs. In the REAL world AIDS and STDs can kill you. Protect yourself!!

I dated Anna for 1.5 years and after living with her for about nine months, decided to end it. She had many wonderful qualities, but the fire in my belly was not there. She was insecure and always jealous when I spent my time with others or by myself. Because of this, it was difficult to keep up friendships. Not only that, she disapproved of some of my friends and insisted that I have no contact with them. Anna was always certain that I would cheat on her because I could be overly flirtatious. I might flirt now and then, but I am loyal to a fault. She was devastated by the break up. I felt bad too, but it was the right thing to do. After the hurt started to wear down, she started being angry with me. She would lash out at me and try to wound me psychologically.

A week after I dropped the bomb, we stopped having sex and stopped sleeping together. The friendship and feelings of comfort drew us together, not the chemistry. Sex, for me, was only okay with Anna. She was very plain looking. Her body didn't do much for me—she had a big butt, and medium-sized tits (34b) that drooped tremendously. I am into the mental aspects of sex—I love talking dirty and telling stories. I like it when my woman wears sexy outfits and acts lustfully towards me in public. Anna was into none of those things. She sorta liked porno, but never pushed the issue. She did not masturbate on her own. She loved having sex with me. She was always willing to suck my cock and swallow my cum, but she never let me shoot on her face (something I like to do). She liked having her anus stimulated while having sex; this lead me to buying her a very small buttplug (about the size of a finger). I was pretty adamant about not having sex after we broke up. Not that I didn't want to, it was just that I didn't want to send the wrong signal.

I moved into the other bedroom where her computer was. I should describe my house. It is ranch-style with a fully finished basement. On the main floor there are two bedrooms, a bath, a large kitchen, and a large family room. The bedrooms are adjacent to each other and connected by a main hall. The basement has a very large room (big enough to comfortably play ping-pong in), a bedroom with bath, and another room full of junk, which is connected to a utility room.

About 2.5 weeks after the breakup we were invited to a mutual friend's party. It was a major event with lots of people and lots of good food. Jim had a very large house up in the hills. Anna and I decided it would be best if we attended separately. She went with her friend Joan; I went alone. Once at the party, Anna drank heavily. While mixing, I came across her while she was talking to a guy. She spotted me and snuggled up to him—I think she was trying to make me jealous, but it didn't work for I am not the jealous time. Later when I past by them, she suddenly lunged at him and they started to kiss. I observed them for a little while. The party was very big and loud, and I doubt anyone else noticed them. A while later, I was loitering around the food, talking to a lovely woman, when I saw Anna and the guy come in the room. I could see that she was upset because I was talking to another woman. Anna led her man in the corner, and started to make out again. She was facing me and I found it difficult not to watch. Anna tried to make eye contact with me at all times, especially as she ran her hands over the guy's butt. Eventually, the conversation with the lovely woman petered out, so I resumed mingling. Later, in a hall, I ran into Anna. She was real drunk. With anger in her voice she asked, "So what kind of slut was that you were talking to?"

"Just some woman. I don't remember her name."

"I'm with Tom. He knows how to treat a woman. He's a good kisser," she said with a slur. "I'll believe you."

"He is. But you'll never get to experience these lips or this tongue again."

"I guess not."

"You bet your ass. I'm a hot woman and you threw me away, you asshole! You'll never find someone better than me!!" I walked away saying, "See you at home, Anna. I hope your friend is sober, because you are stinking drunk." I went home. Once there, I prepared for bed, then fired up the computer. I felt like reading sex stories and looking at dirty pictures. I loved stories about sluts and seeing pictures of women with cum on their faces. I jacked- off and came hard. Anna stumbled into the house somewhat later.

Next week, Anna announced that she was not moving out until August 12 (it was July 17, and I broke up with her on the 1st). From there on, we got along some days and she screamed at me other days. These six weeks of living together after the breakup was my penance--my personal hell to pay for dumping her. I swallowed my pride and learned to grin and bear it. I buried my head in the TV and computer.

Over the next weeks when Anna went out at night, she would come home and insist on telling me about her experiences in great detail. I tried not to listen. Tuesday night, she went out with Tom for dinner. Thursday morning, I noticed a new, little blue case on the sink in our shared bathroom. I knew right away that it contained birth control pills. I found this strange because Anna had always been reluctant to try The Pill because of its side effects. Through my urgings, she got a diaphragm, but didn't like using it. In most cases, we used condoms, which I never really liked, but what was I to do? Anna walked in the bathroom as I was examining the case. "Yes," she hissed at me, "it's The Pill. But you'll never get to feel the benefits of me taking it." The thought of her using it and effects on sex led me to a hard-on. After she spoke, she noticed my dick making a tent in my pants. She grabbed my crotch and moved her face to mine and heatedly said, "Too bad you dumped me; we could have had a lot of fun. But now, I'll have fun with someone else." I groaned a bit. She let go and left for work.

I had to jerk-off. I fired up the computer and opened some pictures that I had downloaded a few days ago. I tiled four pictures on my screen—all showed women sucking cocks, or with cum all over their faces. I was heavy into it, when Anna startled me by walking the room (I had left the door open). "I forgot my lunch," she said. "What are you looking at?" I turned toward her and kept stroking my dick. Glancing back and forth between the screen, and me she said angrily, "I hope you like looking at your filthy pictures now, because the computer's going with me."

"I am enjoying it now," I said with a big smile. Frustration grew in her face as she announced that she was going out after work.

That night Anna came home with bags of new clothes. She had to show me all her new bras and underwear. The bras were all sexy—lacy, or transparent, or low-cut. One was a "wonder bra," she announced proudly. The panties were small; some looked like thongs. "Sexy, huh?" she asked. "Yes," I agreed. "Too bad you dumped me because you'll never get to see me in them." She was trying to get my goat again, but it didn't work. Friday after work, Anna went out dancing. Upon returning late, she had to tell me all the details about the guys she danced with and how she got felt up. She was a bit tipsy. As she moved around the living room, I could not take my eyes off her for she was provocatively dressed. I could tell that she had removed her bra at sometime during the day. Her blouse was unbuttoned about a third of the way down. Once she leaned down toward me to make a point, and I confirmed her lack of a bra. The story of her evening's events and her clothing turned me on. This was a departure from her style. She was trying to hurt me by showing me what I was throwing away. I was not going to get back together with her. But I was excited, but not stupid enough to sleep with her again. The visions in my head of her acting this way would be good wanking material for a long time to come.

She stumbled into the kitchen. I needed some relief, so I went into the bedroom and turned on the computer. I read a story and looked at pictures. I thought I closed the door tight, but it crept open (it does that if you don't close it tight). I was real close to cumming when I noticed Anna standing next to me. "Guess you love your right hand now, jerk-off boy." I spun and looked at her while I continued to stroke my 7.5-inch dick. "I might," I replied, but added cruelly, "but you'll never get to fell this dick inside of you again." She was taken aback, and a bit mad. She opened her blouse to reveal her sagging 34Bs. "And you'll never get to feel these again! Tonight at the club, two guys squeezed my tits." She squeezed them. "One even rolled his thumb around my nipples." She demonstrated. This was too much for me for I started to cum. I grabbed some tissues and shot my load into them. She laughed evilly, "Tissue-boy! Jerk-off!" Still giggling, she left my room. She thought she was making fun of me, but it didn't matter. She showed me her tits. I was keeping it at home. She was out in public.

I powered down the computer, turned off the light and crawled into bed. The damn door crept open again. I leaned to the end of bed to close it when I notice something—I could see right into Anna's bedroom. In fact I could see her on the bed. This was possible with the help of a mirror on the door. I have only one full-length mirror in the house, and we moved it to the outside of the bedroom door so that Anna could use it to get ready for work when she left early. Now, I was using the mirror to check her out. Anna was naked on the bed. She was masturbating. She lay on her back with her right hand working her clit. Her left was shoving the anal-plug in and out. As her tempo increased, so did the size of my cock. She came hard—moaning and groaning. I grabbed some tissues and did the same. After she calmed down, she got up to wash the plug. We made eye contact, and she said with a wicked smile, "I hope you enjoyed the show, because you'll never get the real thing again."

Saturday morning I announced that I was going for a hike with my cousins and probably would go to their house afterwards to eat and play cards. I had done this many times and not returned home until late. She told me that she was going out to dinner and movie with Tom. The hike was great, but my cousin, Carol, was not feeling the best, so we called it a day after a light dinner. Since Anna was not going to be home until late, I decide to rent some porno. She had been making me horny and I figured this would be a great way to release some of my pent up feelings. We have a local "adult" store that is supposed to be "fun"--full of toys, lingerie, videos, and magazines. They advertised themselves as a great place where couples and women were welcome. It was well lit and every time I went there, I did see some women and couples. I was checking out some videos in the back corner when I saw Anna walk in. I was momentarily shocked and embarrassed. She was alone and did not notice me. I ducked into the magazine corner and kept an eye on her. She looked over the dildos and butt-plugs. I saw her pick out a big dildo and a large butt-plug. The store really turns me on in general, but her actions were really getting my dick hard. Anna then walked over to the videos. I didn't know what she was looking at, but she spent about 10 minutes picking out two. She took the cards to the front. I saw her fill out a membership form, and pay for the videos and toys. After she left, I walked past the counter to look at the cards of the videos she had rented; one was a standard video, while the other was a gang-bang feature. I could barely contain myself, for I had nasty thoughts of catching her using her new marital aides and watching the videos. I went out to car. I couldn't rush home, so I decided to kill some time at a coffee shop.

At 8pm, I headed home. I parked about 2 houses away, and quietly entered through the back door. The TV blared in the family room. I could hear grunts, groans and the bad music of a porno. Slowly I stuck my head around the corner and saw Anna sitting on the couch. She was wearing only a very light robe that was open. Her nipples were rock-hard. She was slowly moving the dildo in and out of her. Her eyes were fixed on the TV. My cock was like steel. I watched her for a little while, and then I decide to act. I stealthily moved into my room. I took off my clothes and put on my summer robe. I quietly walked back down the hall and stuck my head around the corner. Anna was in the same position. She never noticed me standing there. I immediately started to stroke my dick. Eventually, she looked up and was shocked to see me standing there with my dick in my hands. Even though she was startled, she did not take the dildo out of her pussy. Her attention returned to the tv and she began to masturbate again. I walked into the room and sat beside her on the couch. "Is this a good video?" I asked; she was watching the gangbang film. "Yes," she hissed, and continued to fuck herself. We sat next to each other, masturbating. Eventually, we both came. I settled back and starting watch her reaction to the film. Every now and then she would say something like "look how big that cock is" or "look at all that cum." After a little while, I went to bed. Over the course of the next week, I saw Anna masturbate via the mirror four times. By the end of the week, she started to being more brazen. She would make a lot of noise. In the morning, I would find the dildo and larger butt-plug in the bathroom; Anna left them there to dry after she washed them off.

Saturday, she asked if I could stay out late because Tom was coming over. I said I had to get up early to go hiking Sunday morning, but I would try to stay out as late as possible. I got home around 10pm. I walked in from the garage through the kitchen. The light was on over the sink and I could tell that someone was watching tv in the living room. As I walked toward the hall, I glanced into the living room and was able to see Anna and Tom sitting close to each other on the couch. "Hi. How's your evening?" I said. Tom scrambled for a second, but Anna held him in place. "Good," she replied, "we're watching a romantic movie." At that moment, I noticed that her hand was in Tom's lap. I could just make out the fact that Tom had his dick out of his pants. I tried to ignore it and said, "I'm going read a bit and then go to bed." They said, "Okay" and I went to my room. I got into my sleeping clothes (boxers and an old t-shirt), and went to the bathroom. As I walked to it, I glanced back in the living room. Anna's head was now in Tom's lap. She was moving her head and hand up and down. She was blowing him right there in the living room. He was just leaning back and enjoying it. I went about my business in the bathroom, but kept a deft ear on the situation. Soon I hear Tom start to moan. "Yes. Yes! Yes!! Suck my cock!" he almost screamed. I got a hard-on. I went to bed and read. In 15 minutes, I turned off my light and went to bed.

My sleep was not restful and I tossed and turned. Eventually, begrudgingly, I woke up an hour later. I thought reading might remedy the situation. But first, I had to take a piss. Opening up my door, I noticed that Anna's light in her room was on. It blinded me for a moment before I stumbled into the bathroom and did my business. Coming out, I glanced at the mirrored reflection of the events in her room--she and Tom were having sex. She was getting more and more brazen. First the hitting on guys at parties and bars, then sexy underwear, then porn and dildos, now sex with some new guy. She was trying to hurt me by making me see that she was a desirable, sexy woman, (I knew she was, but I just didn't want to date her any more), and that I would never have her again. I settled back in my bed and watched the action. They were in classic missionary position with Tom thrusting in and out of her. Eventually, they switched so she was on top. She really ground herself into him. She was acting like a wild woman. They weren't making a lot of noise. They switched to doggie- style and faced me. Tom was moving his hips fast. I heard her say, "Put a finger up my ass. Put your finger up my ass and make me cum!" I guess he did, and she did. She moaned and groaned, but not too loudly. Tom still kept thrusting after she stopped. He said, "I'm gonna. I'm gonna cum!" Anna got off him, turned around, and, I assume because I could not see it, swallowed his jism. They calmed down. I didn't. I jerked off into a tissue. Afterwards, Anna walked by me, naked, on the way to the bathroom. We made eye contact and she gave me a searing glance. I shut my door and went to sleep.

I left for my hike early the next morning. All day, I got a hard-on any time I thought of last night's show. Anna was trying to hurt me, and I realized that it was working. She was making me real horny by flaunting her sexuality right in front of me. I was frustrated and getting annoyed. I wanted her to move out that day so my life could return to normal. My darker side spoke to me and said that it was fun watching her get off and walk around naked. My darker side won out, and I determined to see how far Anna would go to make me jealous. If she was going to tease me and make me upset, I wanted to be thoroughly entertained by her new found sexual freedom.

Monday night, Anna announced that after dinner she need to check her email. Thinking fast, I jumped on the machine got on-line. Going into my account, I typed up a fake exchange between a friend and me:

J-,

>>>So what was wrong? >>Lots of things. You and I have talked about them--jealousy, different goals, >>sex, etc. >Sex? No, really? Like what? Well... this is a touchy subject but since we have discussed the intimate details of our lives before: She never wanted to do the things I wanted. Things that would get me off and make me come back for more, like look at porn on the internet, cum on her face, tell me dirty stories (especially about gangbangs) (I like to hear dirty stories and fantasize her or me acting them out), shaving her pubes, or vocalize during sex. Things might have worked out different if she would have complied with my wishes.

Enough about that, did you watch Dennis Miller on Fr

After I typed this much, I loudly announced that the system went down. I swore. Anna walked into the room. "The fucking system went down right when I was in the middle of writing an email. Good thing I am able to copy it." I did so. I opened the word processing program, and pasted the fake message. I then went back to the internet. I signed on and told Anna that she could use it. I was hoping that her curiosity would get the best of her, and she would read my letter. I walked out of the room and watched tv. I heard her typing. After it stopped, I snuck a look; she was reading me letter. Yes! Half an hour later, I walked back in. She heard me and quickly hit the "home" tab. It wasn't fast enough, and I saw she was looking at porn. I ignored that asked her to tell me when she was off. Anna said it would be awhile. After she finished surfing, I checked the history file; Anna had looked a lot of porn.

During the week, Anna continued to bold. She masturbated every night, but now she vocalized, making a lot of noise. I'm certain it was mostly for show. I enjoyed it a lot, and got off every night with her. She was getting up a little later, and making sure I saw her in the shower. One morning, I notice her shaving her crotch. Later, as she walked by me with only a towel around her head, I noticed that all of her pubic hair was gone. Thursday night, Tom came over again. Anna failed to mention this to me in advance, so I was at home the entire time. They went to the basement and played ping-pong. I spent my time playing on the computer and doing my laundry. I tried not to interrupt their game, but when I went to put another load in, I did overhear them discussing a wager of minutes. Tom owed Anna 15, while she owed him 10. I had no idea what they were talking about.