Chapter 04 Back in my new Life
Preface
Back in My New Life
Meeting Up with Shakti
Meeting Up with Mark
What Does the Future Hold for Me?
Preface
Hi, I'm Rachel and this is another instalment in my story about my sex life.
This is Chapter 4 of four and in order to best enjoy it and make sense of it you are strongly recommended to read Chapters 01 to 03 first if you have not already done so. This chapter covers what has gone on in practising spiritual sex and my experiences enjoying my new life after the Naturist Meditation Retreat.
Please do not let the title put you off. The theme has nothing to do with spirits and the paranormal; it is about the convergence of sexual energy, with spiritual energy which I have discovered to be a dramatic, intoxicating, and compelling combination which takes sexual pleasure to a whole new level. When I began to take an interest in exploring a spiritual path it seemed to me that spiritual energy and sexual energy are both forms of passion and being alive. Rather than being opposites, they are in fact complementary, or perhaps even the same life force. I have discovered that practicing spiritual sex can elevate sexual pleasure to a truly whole mind and body experience. In fact, I will make some bold claims that spiritual sex can enable sexual energy to go beyond the physical sensations of pleasure and orgasm, to a state of heightened awareness and expanded consciousness. We feel everything more deeply, and you can no longer distinguish between elation, euphoria, ecstasy, bliss and orgasm. I do not expect you to be convinced yet, but I invite you to walk with me through my recent experiences and discoveries of this whole new dimension to sex.
I have been writing about my sex life on Literotica for quite a few years now. In order to best enjoy this latest one, you would be better to read some of my earlier stories first. This latest story will then make more sense if you know more about me and what has gone before.
You can find my five previous instalments under my name of Rachel6. They are best read in chronological order i.e.:
1. Rachel's life As an Exhibitionist
2. Rachel Is Shared
3. Rachel's Exhibitionism Nemesis
4. Rachel Reveals More
5. Rachel Reveals All
The last one 'Rachel Reveals All' combines all of the first four stories into a single novel. Thus in 'Rachel Reveals All' I related most of the interesting sensual and sexual experiences of my life up until my mid-forties.
Back in My New Life
I had feared that when I returned home after the tantric spiritual retreat Andy and /or Tony might be a bit cool towards me resenting me pursuing my own life down, what would seem to them, a weird and strange path. This was especially one that they knew was likely to involve me having relationships outside of our cosy foursome.
However, when I let myself into the house it was empty. Both Andy and Tony were out somewhere. I found a note that the three of them (with Andrea) had decided to go away for a night to a concert in Manchester at the last minute. I imagined the three of them sharing a hotel room and what a busy night Andrea would have had. They would be back on Sunday evening. Great I thought- a whole weekend to rest and recover. I was going to need it. This had been the most tumultuous week of my life. So much had happened, and I was just completely exhausted. I had had so many life- changing, mind expanding experiences that it was a blur and did not seem real that it had all really happened. I collapsed into bed and apart from visiting the loo did not get up again until I heard them all coming back on Sunday evening. I was glad to have this time to come down to earth.
When they all reappeared contrary to acting resentfully towards me, they all actually seemed pleased to see me and have me back. It is funny in life how when you set out your stall and act in a determined and confident way, other people will normally accept it and fit in around you. Although I suppose I had only been away for one week but for me it had been very significant and seemed much longer. Thankfully they did not ask me much about it and I was glad they did not especially as I might have sounded a bit evangelical talking about it. I slept with Tony that night. It all seemed perfectly normal which it was for us.
Being in a polyamorous relationship might sound glamourous and exotic but it is not always easy. Often, they can be quite stressful, and jealousy can inevitably arise. I think though that our set up where we are two interchangeable couples is much easier than one whereby a man has two wives, or a woman has two husbands. I would imagine that the opportunities for resentment and jealousy would be prolific where a man had two or more wives to keep happy and satisfied who were all reliant and devoted to just him. For a polyamorous relationship to be successful, everyone involved must be open and honest about what they want and need out of the arrangement. Even then it may be difficult or impossible for them all to get it. Maintaining open communication is fundamental to a polyamorous relationship so that issues do not arise. I think we have maintained our cosy little set up with remarkable ease. I certainly want to keep hold of my anchors Andy and Tony and do my exploration from the safe harbour that they represent.
The problem for me now was that my extracurricular activities outside of my polyamorous relationship might start to threaten the stability of my relationships with Andy and Tony. They have tolerated me thus far but getting too involved with others outside of our cosy foursome might prove too much for them to accept. I was starting to realise that for me having a number of other friends 'with benefits' was the way to go if Andy and Tony looked like they would accept that or at least reluctantly tolerate it. I really want to gather these other friends into my life because it is fun when these people make a fuss of you and are genuinely pleased to see you on an occasional basis. I have officially dumped and abandoned any thoughts of returning to monogamy and in any case, I no longer have anyone who would want me on that basis. Certainly not Andy anymore who is closer to Andrea than me nowadays. For now, I am going to rotate around my increasing circle of intimate friends ( and husband!) having quality time with each of them for as long as it lasts.
Through the retreats I have joined a small community of likeminded and open-minded people who are consciously following a path of sexual exploration. I want to experiment more, including lesbian encounters, and see where this leads with my new friends. My sangha. Of course, it is never straight forward being a female and I am concerned about just gathering a network of guys who just want to fuck me because I am easy. But this is unlikely if I stay within the group I have met through the two retreats, and of course other people introduced through them. But I cannot pretend I am not worried about this as it is a real risk that I just get a reputation and attract guys who see me as just being good for occasional sex but too promiscuous to consider as serious relationship material and a significant friend. To be honest the person I was missing the most and obsessing about was Shakti. I was entranced by her at that time. I was also pondering whether Amy might be up for some girl on girl fun time? Before long I began meeting up with my friends from the retreats.