Chapter 1
I was trapped in that ethereal state in-between sleep and full consciousness. On some level I was aware of the fact that I was dreaming and that these strange thoughts I were having couldn't be real. Yet if that was true why were the sheets bathed in cold sweat and my heart beating not only supremely quickly but also with such an astounding intensity? I couldn't remember ever being more pumped full of adrenaline.
I knew with some exertion of my will I could either wake myself or stop the flow of my thoughts; however the lull and power of those treacherous images floating before my eyes were too tempting to resist. Much to my own disgust.
It was the first time I had ever dreamt of my girlfriend, my beautiful sweet angel of three (mainly blissfully happy!) years outright fucking someone. Someone not being me. Of course like the majority of young men I would worry about these things from time to time. Especially if I knew Hannah was out partying with her friends, knowing full well what she was like when she was inebriated.
It was a particular group of friends in particular, her 'crazy mates' from back when she was a teenager, taking pills and raving till the morning that would worry me. Every now and then there would be some sort of reunion. I could always see the excitement in her eyes and despite her persistent claims it would not be a 'wild one' without fail she would come back hammered.
At first I hated this and started to develop a complex. A complex which would peak at a moment I will come to shortly. At some point I projected this insecurity onto different people, including my oldest and best friend Michael.
I knew it was ludicrous but they got on so well when we all went out. It was most likely due to remnants of a very competitive childhood spent constantly challenging each other, whether in sports or in academics. We were both usually near the top of the class in both disciplines, which possibly led to my own rather large ego throughout my teenage years. I had calmed down since then, yet some residue of this obviously remained. I didn't help that out of all my friends he had the most consistent luck with women.
This is not to say I didn't trust her and after a few months into our relationship I believe we both realised that this was worth more than what we had been previously doing with our lives. It was in fact Hannah who made all the first moves; including saying I love you the first time. To which I somewhat shakily replied I love you too.
I was initially reluctant to get seriously involved in a relationship, not due to being unsuccessful with women (I had my fair share), more because I had never been serious with any woman before and was scared and unsure of what these feelings were. Its remarkable how quickly someone can take over your life and thoughts until you can't possibly envision a future without that person. The same works in reverse, love being such a fickle and fragile mistress.
She trusted me too, as I never gave her any reason not to. This doesn't mean that like most women she wouldn't have her own absolute psycho moments and plenty of her own insecurities. One of her insecurities led to her to do something which, perhaps, triggered off a series of very important events...
I was waiting alone at my flat (my parents lived abroad) for Hannah to come home from work at the pub she worked at. I was just surfing the internet as per usual, probably reading some erotic stories on Literotica, when I got the idea to check her emails. Probably not the best thing for a mildly, at the time, paranoid boyfriend to do. However I knew she did the same to me and liked to check my Facebook 'as it was interesting to see another person's life' apparently.
After sifting through a lot of spam and adverts for penis enlargements (this is not where I tell you my girlfriends has a cock) I saw something that looked slightly odd. An image upload to one of those picture rating sites! I couldn't believe it. I knew this was different as it was in the sent items folder.
I hesitated for a fraction of a second before clicking it open. There staring me boldly in the face was an image of my beautiful girlfriend's tits. I recognised the picture instantly; she'd sent me the same picture! How strange. The only difference was that the picture she sent me had 'MISS YOU' written on her chest. A cute little message meant just for me, to remind me of what I was missing whilst I was studying a few hours drive away for my degree.
My first feelings were purely of horror and disbelief. This was totally out of character. My sweet angel, who had always been quite reserved in bed, had sent a picture of her frankly amazing rack to the internet. A part of her body that was meant only for me, one of the great privileges of being her boyfriend, had been uploaded brazenly onto the internet for the whole fucking world to see! I couldn't believe it.
What rubbed salt into the wounds was that she had obviously taken the picture and sent it off to the internet first and then written that message for me on her chest afterward! What I should probably also mention was that she was wearing a bra. I should also probably mention that her boobs are incredible. Truly incredible. They are so perky, playful almost, pert and somehow so erotic.
After 3 years together I still catch myself ogling them all the time and I find myself switching from loving boyfriend to absolute lust-filled pervert. They seem such a contradiction; her personality is so loving and fun, her face is so angelic and innocent that when you allow your gaze to drift downwards and you are confronted by this mind boggling cleavage the pure sexuality of her breasts stand out like a beacon. They evoke such raw feelings of passion and fucking that feelings of love take a complete backseat.
So seeing this picture I was also dimly aware that I was growing quite aroused. At the same time anger was still the dominant emotion and I remember calling and asking for an explanation. Cue the predictable tears. I told her to come see me when she was done at work and hung up.
