My Flagrant Public Nudity — My exhibition goes horribly wrong. Or does it?
I was sitting in my apartment late one Wednesday evening, having a glass of wine and talking on the phone to my oldest and dearest friend, Susan. I rarely drink alone but felt I needed a little artificial prompting for this conversation.
After high school, Susan had gone on to college in Southern California where she was starting her senior year. I had remained in our dull, provincial, midwestern hometown, helping to run my parents' flourishing educational software business. Susan and I had grown up in the same affluent neighborhood, were preternaturally close and had always shared everything, including several (in retrospect pretty tame) exhibitionist adventures. We remained in constant touch, talking almost daily.
We were chatting idly when I blurted, "Susan, I really need to talk to you about something."
"Sure. Is everything okay, Liz?"
"Well, I don't know. Remember when we took those middle-of-the-night, naked walks around our neighborhood?"
"Of course. I remember them fondly. I think of that as our budding exhibitionist period, but we totally got away with it so what's the problem? You haven't started up again without me, have you?"
"No, no," I said. "The problem is that we never did get caught. I know it was risky and exciting back then, but we weren't really exhibitionists if no one saw us. We were just nibbling around the edges. We were like artists without canvases."
Susan laughed at that and said, "Right. Like a golfer who makes a hole-in-one playing alone. Or the proverbial tree falling in the forest with no one around to hear it. What's this all about?"
"I realize now how much I actually wanted to get caught. I've been wasting an unhealthy amount of time on all kinds of exhibitionist fantasies. I fantasize about getting caught in situations that end up with my being paraded around the town naked or forced to publicly masturbate or staked out naked on the courthouse square so anyone can come and look at me. The kind of punishments they might have dreamed up in Salem in the 1690s. Susan, I'm just consumed with this aching desire to be sexually thrilled and humiliated at the same time. It's becoming the overarching focus of my life."
There was a long pause, and Susan said, "Wow. Look, I'm not trying to sound dismissive here, but why not just go out and get yourself busted?"
"First of all, I wouldn't want to do that here, and second, it's got to look unintentional. Or forced. Not like something some crazy exhibitionist just did by herself. I don't think I'm ready for anything so obviously of my own doing. Plus, it's sometimes hotter when people think they're seeing something they weren't meant to see rather than just having it shown to them."
She said, "You really have been giving this a lot of thought, haven't you?"
"Way, way, way too much thought. That's what I was telling you. It's actually affecting my work. And even my dreams. The other night I dreamed I was giving a speech at some kind of convention in front of a full auditorium, and I was naked, and in the middle of the speech, I started masturbating and had an orgasm. Which turned out to be a real-life orgasm. I woke up with my hand between my legs, gasping in mortification from my dream and in pleasure from my hand."
"Damn, Girl, you're making me wet! Listen up. I need to think about this, but I just may be able to set something up for you. My involvement would have to be secret, for your own sake and for mine. If everyone knew I was colluding with you, they'd know it was intentional. Plus, I might end up in some trouble. I'll try to call you back tomorrow night."
She hung up, and I sat there thinking about what a wonderful friend she is, but I was also uneasy about what I might be getting myself into. I was feeling excited but also a little panicked.
I walked into the bedroom, dropped my robe and looked at myself naked in the mirror. Men are always telling me I'm beautiful, but knowing men, I think a lot of that can be chalked up to my breasts. I'm pleased enough with them. They're all mine, and they're full and round and firm but not porny or cartoonishly pneumatic. Of course, they often attract the wrong kind of attention. Not the anonymous, exhibitionist attention that I've been craving but that of sleazy, lounge-lizard types. What I like most about them, though, which I first learned on our naked walks, is that it makes you feel even more naked when you've got something extra bouncing around up there. Something more to show.
Actually, when I am naked, they are by no means my most eye-catching feature. I have a fairly (okay, exceptionally) prominent clitoris, made even more noticeable by a recent Brazilian wax. I'm not saying you could see it from the moon, at least not with the unaided eye, but on infrequent vacation visits to nude beaches, it invariably attracted shocked double-takes. From both men and women. And in the girls' communal showers after high school gym, I was teased mercilessly. Susan was a great one for cheerfully embarrassing me in front of other girls by suddenly asking, "Have you seen Liz's dick?" I'm 5'8" and weigh 127 pounds, a natural blonde with medium-length, wavy hair.
I don't know why I have these blatantly exhibitionist desires and tendencies. Nothing in my everyday life is designed to draw attention to myself. My car is practical and far more modest than I could afford. I dress like a slacker, mostly in sweat pants, oversized tees, flannel shirts and sneakers. In group conversations I'm the quiet one. But my fantasy life is a whole different kettle of fish.
I went to bed around midnight and barely slept. I kept wondering what she would come up with, but Susan being Susan, I had an inkling that it would be perfect. (That was a majestically wrong inkling.)
Sure enough, Susan called Thursday night. The first thing she said was, "Okay, a couple of pretty important questions. One, do you really want to do this? And two, do you really want to crank it up a notch?"
"Yes and yes," I whispered."
"Good," she said, "because I've already booked you on United Flight 322 at six-forty tomorrow evening. You have a reservation at the Sheraton. The weather forecast for Saturday is hot and sunny, pretty normal for September. I spent all day scoping out the campus and found a promising location. The necessary props will be put in place during the middle of the night on Friday. You have to be there just before daybreak. I'll pick you up in front of the hotel at five-thirty in the morning. Wear a sundress and sandals. No underwear, no jewelry and no watch. You are going to be completely naked with no place to run and no place to hide. Any questions?"