My Favorite Female Doctor

I have a very definite preference for female doctors. I find them to be much more caring and thorough than male doctors. Plus, I must admit that I very much enjoy the experience of being examined by a woman. I have "managed medical care" so I don't always see the same doctor every time. So, whenever I see a female doctor, especially if it's the first time, the hard part is finding an excuse for them to do a genital exam.

I've tried several different tricks to make this happen. One way is to tell them, "I think I have a lump on one of my testicles." This almost always works. I've even parlayed it into receiving scrotal ultrasounds. Another way is to tell them, "I think I may have herniated myself while doing some heavy lifting." This one is not as reliable. "I think I have a rash," works, but it's too easily disproved if you are faking. In fact, I once told a doctor that just to get a genital exam and found out that I really did have a rash.

As for the exam part, once they are down there checking things out, they tend to look at everything since they are "in the neighborhood." The thing is, though, that some female doctors don't feel comfortable checking guys out. I've had female doctors that would not give me an exam under any circumstances. I don't go back to them. I have had some really good experiences with some and therein hangs a tale.

I remember this one doctor I went to who was in her mid-thirties. She was not "gorgeous," but she did look pretty good to me. She was blonde and you could tell she takes care of herself. She was very talkative (always a good sign). I was her last patient of the day and I went there because of my arthritic hip. While I was there I figured I'd see if I could get a genital exam, too. I told her that I thought I felt a lump on one of my testicles. She said, "I guess we need to take a look."

She sat there with her back to me and talked to me while I took off my pants for the hip exam. The hip exam was brief and x-rays were ordered. Then she told me to stand up and take off my underwear. She was talking to me the whole time about nothing in particular.

She started to palpate my testicles and commented on the difference in size between the two. She rolled them around checking for lumps and bumps and explaining what she was looking for as she went. As she was working on me, I gradually developed a partial erection. "Flying the flag at half mast," I guess you could say.

"Do you have erectile problems?" she asked.

"No," I told her.

Then she told me that she thought she felt an irregularity in the left testicle and would order an ultrasound. (Bonus points!) She then began to examine my semi-erect penis and its opening. She asked if I had any pain during erection or if I had trouble achieving and maintaining an erection during intercourse and I told her no. As she was examining me, I remained only about half-erect. I think that's the reason she didn't seem to believe me.

When she was done, she told me that some men are self-conscious about admitting to erectile dysfunction and that she could prescribe something if I needed it. So I told her that I could get an erection and without hesitation, reached down and gave myself a couple of strokes right there in front of her. I quickly went from half-erect to fully erect and throbbing. I wasn't sure what her reaction would be, but she didn't seem disturbed by this. She examined my erect penis and told me that it was firm enough that I wouldn't need any "little blue pills."

Since she was so talkative anyway, I decided to prolong the moment. I asked her, "Just out of curiosity, how big was the biggest penis you ever saw?" (Knowing full well I wasn't anywhere in the running for THAT honor.) Just the same, I was sitting there having a conversation with her wearing only a t-shirt and socks and fully erect at the time.

She started laughing. She told me that she used to work in a nursing home. She said there was a skinny little white guy there that the nurses always talked about. That guy was getting so many bed baths that some of the other patients started complaining. She had to examine him one day and he had been sedated. When she peeled back the covers, she was amazed. She told me that she measured the old guy's limp penis at fourteen inches. He was hopelessly impotent, so she had no idea how big he would have been erect.

She also told me about how at one time she had worked on a research project funded by a condom company. Guys would get paid a token amount to come in and be measured both limp and erect. This was to collect data for the condom company and help them determine the best size for making properly-fitting condoms. She told me that she doubted how important the data was since very few "little guys" came in and there seemed to be a disproportionate number of "big'uns" (her word) came in. One interesting aspect of the job, though, was that they wanted photographs of what the company considered "unusual-looking or unusually-shaped" penises and they paid a few bucks extra for photographs. There were no names or faces for the photos, so the guys could be totally anonymous.

She cracked up just thinking about this. "You should have seen some of the weird-looking cranks that came through there!" But here's the kicker: she kept copies of all those pictures. And, she adds to her "album" from time to time. She told me that the most fascinating thing to her is how all penises are different; no two look exactly alike. The old saying about "if you've seen one, you've seen them all" is nowhere near true.

By this time, my erection had faded and I asked her if I was unusual enough to rate getting added to her album. She looked at it for a moment and told me that, unfortunately, I was not unusual enough to be photo-worthy. By this time, I'd been in there a long time and I got dressed and left. But I made sure that every time I could, I would ask to see her.

Every time I saw her, I would ask her if she had changed her mind about adding my picture to the album. It was a running joke and always got a laugh from her. A few months later, she told me she was leaving to go up north and open a small practice of her own.