My Diary 06 - A Week at My Grands by Emily Harrison
Time ticks by and with just another week and a half before University was due to start, I wanted to make the most of what remained of the summer and the last few days before academia monopolised my time.
I'd done the last of my volunteering for the summer, Reg was now fully mobile again and before we could get to a second photographic 'shoot', he was called away to stay with his sister who had sadly just lost her husband at the grand old age of 91. I'm sure a second much-needed 'shoot' will be scheduled however, as soon as he's back, and as soon as I can fit it in once Uni starts.
It was now Thursday, two weeks into September. It had been a gloriously warm summer, full of adventures, new friends and new experiences. The last of the warm summer days were still with us, but I knew autumn and Uni were fast approaching.
Since having recently visited a naturist resort, with my elderly 81-year-old neighbour Albert, I had now, pretty much, fully embraced the naturist lifestyle whilst in my flat. I was naked 24/7 when home. Albert would pop in regularly, for a chat or a movie night, a chance to enjoy social nudity together, and although Albert was 100% gay, it was still a nice feeling being nude in someone else's company. We sometimes even cuddled up on mine, or his, sofa whilst watching some soppy old movie, sometimes you just need a good friend to share a cuddle with, especially when you're both blubbing away because the hero and heroine will never be together again.
Even though I'm 18, and there is some 63 years difference in our ages, we get on so well. On some visits he would have me in stitches, laughing so much at his jokes and witticisms, once or twice I've even been on the verge of peeing myself laughing. He's just so funny.
I'm also still regularly visiting my elderly teacher Mr Thomas, visits which provide an outlet for the naughtiest of my adventures.
But this Thursday, I'd woken up, the sun was shining, and the warmth of that early morning sun was already bathing the flat in lovely sultry summer heat. I needed to get out and enjoy it.
I never normally leave my house in the morning unless I've first bathed and made myself presentable to the world, but today, I just needed to be outside.
So I cleaned my teeth, brushed my hair, sprayed a mist of 'Impulse Tease Body Spray Deodorant' over myself, got into my black lycra cycling shorts, my black scoop neck sports vest and white Adidas trainers, grabbed my mobile phone and door keys and wheeled my mountain bike out through my front door.
Navigating my bike down several flights of stairs from my flat to the communal entrance is always a chore, but as soon as I was downstairs, I was on my bike and away.
Fortunately, my flat is only about half a mile or so from great swathes of green countryside. Farmland, woodlands and fresh country air. Within five minutes I was cycling up and over the gentle hillside which acted as a natural barrier between our quiet town and the even quieter countryside.
It seemed as though I was the only person on the planet, not a soul to be seen. The early morning chorus of birdsong was the only sound I could hear, that and the gears of my bike shifting as I navigated the ups and downs of the country paths.
It wasn't long before I was where I needed to be, on top of a wonderfully lush green hillock. The blue cloudless sky and the bright warm morning sun just made everything perfect. I slowed and stopped, got off my bike and eased it onto the grass.
I stood there for a moment, just taking in the smell of freshness, the warmth of the new day, the quietness; this was the English countryside for me. Perfect.
I sat, allowing my legs to recover, then laid back and closed my eyes. I didn't need to sleep; I just needed to relax, relax my entire body, including my eyes. It was just so quiet, so peaceful. Not a sound to be heard, apart from distant birdsong, a bee buzzing seemingly gorging itself on a pollen-filled wild flower nearby, I'm sure I could even hear myself breathing. It was that quiet. And those smells, those wonderful natural smells, fresh grass and fresh air.
Now, why didn't I go to the toilet before I left? Sometimes you don't think things through when you get an impulse, I had no thoughts when leaving the flat, other than getting out into the sun.
But it is what it is, I needed to poo. Now I've pooed outside before, if you've read my earlier accounts, you'll remember, but here I was in the middle of the countryside and the realisation that I hadn't even brought one tissue with me and I needed to poo.
I couldn't think about it any longer, I stood up, pulled my cycling shorts to just below my knees and squatted.
The second I was in position, my bum hole opened as a rather large poo pushed its way out, oh the relief. I could feel my bum closing and then opening again to release another smaller poo. I remained squatting as my bladder now decided to empty itself as well, my pee sparkling under the morning sun as it gushed out of me in a long stream.
It felt so nice squatting there, the morning air on my bare bum, a hint of steam rising from my rapidly cooling poo.
But no tissues. Darn it. I'd have given a king's ransom for just one sheet of toilet paper, I'm sure that would have been enough, just one wipe of my bum and I'd have been happy.
I looked around, hopeful that I might spot a large leaf or some such, anything to wipe my bum with, but nothing. Oh well!
I stood and pulled my shorts up. Knowing I was now going to be cycling home with a dirty bum produced a strange feeling.
Getting back on my bike, I rode on for a further half an hour or so before I'd done enough and decided to make my way back home. Conscious that my cycling shorts would definitely go straight in the wash the moment I got back to the flat. Note to self, always take tissues on bike rides!