This story was originally written and published in one go. I decided to clean it up considerably for readability. If you like absurd, over-the-top fantasies with a dose or two of comedy, this might be your tea. If you want romance, I kind of suck at that. Cheers!
***
The woman seated across from me was older, perhaps 45 or so. She was tall and slender, thinner than me by a margin, but then I had a more voluptuous figure, especially up top. She was Patricia Marsh and she was the Personal Assistant to Henry Tovall, one of the most powerful men in the world. Miss Marsh accepted an interview with me to fill her position and they flew me out to Mr. Tovall's property to meet personally. Miss Marsh assured me that I was one of only a few people who had made it this far in the process. For that I was grateful, because my savings was running low, and I really needed the job.
The only things that people knew about Henry Tovall was he was brilliant in business, and shied from publicity. In fact, he isolated himself from the public. He'd taken over his father's oil company a decade ago and changed it into a global phenomenon, with investments in everything from power, to media, to medicine and technology. He did this all from the small island he owned, off the coast of Florida. Supposedly, he never left that island. I would have thought one who is that reclusive must have a facial deformity or weird limp, but from rare pictures that somehow made their way to the public, that wasn't the case. Henry Tovall appeared to be tall, handsome, sporty, even fashionable.
Patricia was just beginning with her questions. "It says here you served as Randall Parks' personal assistant for two years, quitting just over two months ago. Randall Parks? Of Boston Medical? Why aren't you still with him?"
Randall Parks was a busy man, who demanded the services of a talented PA. Unfortunately, he was also extremely rude to everyone around him. Two years working at his side was far too long, but my efforts had always been top notch. I had prepared an answer to this inevitable question.
"Miss Marsh, it was an honor to work for Mr. Parks during my time with him. As his assistant, I definitely improved my skills and met every demand asked of me and I am quite confident Mr. Parks will testify to that. Unfortunately, it is my opinion that his temperament and everyday demeanor made for a toxic environment. I respect myself too much to continue enduring such working conditions."
"Hmm..." said Patricia. "I know Mr. Parks. Met him several times. What you say doesn't surprise me in the slightest."
I breathed a sigh of relief. Considering I was interviewing for Patricia's job, I had no idea how she would take that answer. Would she consider it inconsiderate? It was truthful, but perhaps more information than a PA should divulge about an ex-boss. Especially Randall Parks. His reputation was important to him.
"How many people did you tell? About the reasons you left that job with Mr. Parks?"
"No one, ma'am, other than you just now. I expect you to keep this interview confidential, as will I. The public has no reason to know, nor listen to, an ex-employee's concerns."
Patricia nodded. "When you say Mr. Parks was rude to you. How exactly?"
"He would often ask for an opinion on something and then completely berate you for having any opinion at all. If you didn't want to answer, he would make you answer. Damned if you do, damned if you don't."
"Any inappropriate actions or words?"
I wondered if Miss Marsh was getting at sexual harassment. It's not unheard of that powerful men engage in extracurricular activities with their PA's, but I would never stand for that. Mr. Parks was honorable in that sense and never crossed the line with me. He was an asshole, but he wasn't that kind of asshole. "No, mostly it was just Mr. Parks' way of thinking and venting. To intentionally cut down those around him."
"The thing that concerns me, Miss Landers - or may I call you Lucy?"
"Lucy is fine," I said, hoping this was a breaking point, a moment we could build rapport. I really wanted this job. The house they stayed in was lavish.
"The thing that concerns me, Lucy, is whether you will have equal trouble around Mr. Tovall."
"Miss Marsh, I can work under very stressful situations, and I can certainly be flexible to navigate any mood the boss would demand. Those are normal and expected things of a PA. However, if you're suggesting Mr. Tovall creates a toxic environment just for the sake of it, as Mr. Parks would often do, then we would not be a good fit."
Patricia paused. "No, Henry wouldn't do anything like that for the sake of it, quite the opposite." I wasn't sure what she was getting at, and almost said so, but she continued. "There is a reason Mr. Tovall values his privacy and why he only speaks through me, or through personal emails. He has a communication disorder."
I sat back in my chair, not sure where this was going.
"This disorder can sometimes make Mr. Tovall appear angry when he's perfectly fine. It can make him say inappropriate things when he has no genuine ill-intentions. It can make him divulge more information about himself than most would divulge to their own spouses or therapists. This disorder doesn't make him incapable of doing work. It doesn't hinder his brilliance in any way. It just makes for awkward, sometimes embarrassing situations."
"Is this a rare disorder or something?" I asked. "I'm not sure I have ever heard of it."
"You've heard of Tourette's syndrome, yes?" I nodded and Patricia continued, "This is that, essentially. It's a neurological disorder. What I say from this point forward stays between us, is that understood?"
"Of course. We are both professionals. I understand and value the importance of privacy, in any regard, for my boss."
"Let me first state that Mr. Tovall has taken this problem very seriously. He's tried therapy. He's tried to anchor acts and words to replace this 'tic' of his, but nothing has worked. He continues therapy, and he continues to practice ways to beat this problem, but he is still greatly challenged. Because of this, he demands the services of a PA who understands they must not be bothered or concerned by those challenges."
A brief chill raced up my spine. "I appreciate you telling me this. But what exactly... specifically... is the problem? Is it just what he says, or does he also behave differently than the norm in other ways?"
Patricia smiled and waved it off. "Oh no, he behaves perfectly normally in many other ways. It's only his words. Like any thought that passes through his mind risks being audibly communicated. It can be..." she paused for dramatic effect, "... quite a bit to take in. If Mr. Parks was too much for you, I fear Mr. Tovall may be as well."
"Honestly, Mr. Parks wasn't too much. He was just an asshole. He purposefully tried to make others feel less than around him, if you know what I mean." I paused for a moment, realizing again I may have said too much. "I suppose my brutal honesty may not be appreciated."
Patricia laughed. "Not at all. In fact, it's what Henry might like. Brutal honesty."
"I'm sorry?"
"I can't imagine you came into this interview thinking you would call your ex-employer an asshole to me. You know, someone who I might contact for a reference."
"No, I did not," I said. Maybe I had crossed the line, after all.
"But Henry would like that about you, I promise."
"Well, he's already different than Mr. Parks then. Randall didn't smile about anything."
Patricia laughed again and said, "Allow me to explain the problem just a tiny bit more, though. Imagine, if you were around Mr. Parks, working, unable to control a thought you had about him, do you think it is possible you would have called him an asshole to his face? In fact, if you were incapable of keeping such thoughts to yourself, you definitely would have called him that, right?"
"You are suggesting this is the kind of problem Mr. Tovall has?"