Mr. Ed

The Return of Mr. Ed

Chapter 6

It began like any innocent bachelorette party, with all of the boring talk and booze and gag gifts.

Saona always thought this night would be more wild than this, but maybe it was her own fault the night was such a drag since it was she who demanded there be no strippers at the gala event.

The young beauty opened one gift after another, at one time letting out a mischievous "woo-hoo" upon seeing she received a pair of crotchless panties.

That was as exciting as this night got.

Until the final gift appeared.

Wrapped in white paper with a purple bow, it seemed innocent enough. Saona crossed her sexy, tanned legs and nervously tugged at her short skirt.

"We chipped in and got you this," her friend Dina said upon entering Saona's living room with the final prize.

While unwrapping the gift upon jealous murmurs about how sexy her body was, and how successful Saona was and how her husband was so muscular and sexy, Saona unwrapped the final gift.

It was a box, a big box, so big because it had to fit a very large gift inside its contents. Upon seeing what it was, Saona jumped back with a startling yelp.

"Oh my God," she said. "Jesus Christ."

Dina already knew the gift was a winner. It was better than the short shorts Saona received, better than the sexy stockings or the crotchless panties or the whips and chains she got as a symbol of her dominant nature in the bedroom. This gift was something special, and it instantly brought back memories.

"What is it, what is it?" asked her business friend, Melissa, as she tried to peer in for a closer look.

"I can't read this," Saona said while glancing at the message written on the box. A transparent section allowed her to look into the box to see what was inside, and it was as humorous as it was arousing.

"Read it, read it," Dina urged, amidst laughter as the women were dying to see what exactly Saona was looking at.

The gorgeous brunette, formerly a blonde but still the same pationate individual, began to nervously read aloud the message on the box.

"Do you want all the fun of having sex with a guy who is hung like a horse, well here you go. (Laughter) Mr. Ed is an Anatomically Correct Horse Penis. This is a top quality toy and tons of fun for those with an adventurous spirit. This is a great addition to pony play fantasies, Mr. Ed is one man who never minds being measured. He is - oh my God - he is 13 inches long. This horse cock is sure to stimulate you to new levels. When you're ready to fantasize about sex with a dude who is...hung like a horse, give the Mr Ed Horsecock a try. It is an anatomically correct horse penis that packs a load of fun every time you pull it out of your box. Have a horse penis adventure with this 13" long dong. It's not exactly a pony ride."

The other women were in hysterical fits, some grabbing to see the package for themselves. Saona was way ahead of them, and opened up the box and grabbed the large, floppy dildo and began whipping it about. She smacked Dina in the leg with it, the fake penis so large it actually left a red mark on the woman's supple thigh.

"Thanks a lot, guys, but I don't see how I could ever fit this inside me," Saona said as she held the huge toy aloft.

The crowd of 10 women laughed aloud, and Dina replied "oh I knew there wasn't any way, but I just wanted to see the look on your face when you opened that thing, and I got what I wanted."

They all had a good laugh, until Saona made a startling discovery. "Holy shit," she said to herself, loud enough that Dina looked over.

"What?" her friend asked.

Saona now covered her mouth and began to realize something.

"This...this box says the model for this...dildo...was Steve McPerkison. I...I fucking knew this guy in college," she said.

The women all looked at each other with doubtful stares.

"Yeah, suuuure you did," Dina said. "Saona, have another drink, your wedding is next week for Christ's sake."

The dominatrix at heart, the center of attention, was angry with her friends not believing her outrageous yet true claim.

"I did," she said. "In fact this is what we called him - Mr. Ed. We used to...well, we used to do a lot of things with his...thing. He was so huge, he was so big it -"

"Saona sweetie, we know your days in college were hard work, but we didn't know they were so hard they caused you to hallucinate," Dina said.

Saona gave up, for the moment.

"Yeah, besides dingbat," Melissa said. "No guy could be THAT big. There is no way they actually modeled that after a actual human's thing."

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Almost a year had passed after the marriage, and the gag gift she received the night of her bachelorette party had hardly been brought up. But Saona still was angry at the thought that her friends did not believe this Steve McPerkison actually existed.

Janet, a dominant woman in her own right who was always making jokes about the male's preoccupation with size, read to Saona an interesting article one day at lunch break.

"I cut this out, listen to this," the short-haired brunette said.

"The title of the article is Whale's penis arouses envy. A-hem. Scores of men have visited Tainan's Sutsao Wild Life Reservation Area where professors, students and volunteers were working on the corpse of a male whale, because they were curious about the whale's genitalia."

"Oh Jesus," Saona said.

"The whale's penis measures - Jesus Christ - 1.6 meters in length and it looks like a thick water pipe. More than 100 Tainan city resi-dents, mostly men, have reportedly gone to see the corpse to "experience" the size of its penis. The 60-tonne whale was found dead on the seashore of Yunlin County on Sunday. The county government sent the corpse to the National Cheng Kung University, whose biology professors wanted to preserve it as a specimen."

Saona just shook her head. And now was the time to bring up a sore subject.

"You remember Steve from college?" she asked her former, fellow classmate.

The name barely rung a bell.

"Mr. Ed?" Saona asked.

Now bells rang wildy in Janet's mind.

"Ohhhhh, yeah. Oh my God, Mr. Ed, how could I forget?" she asked. "Shit, what the hell was his major, I don't remember anything about him other than he had a 13-inch penis."

The two couldn't even recall where he was from.

"My God how could I forget him," Janet said with a laugh. "Did you ever wonder...

"What?" Saona asked.

"Well," Janet went on, "like how he kept it hidden? I mean, there are only two legs to a pair of pants you know."

Saona bent her head down in amusement.

Janet took a bite of her Caeser salad and crossed a pair of legs that rivaled Saona's. "What made you think of him?" Janet asked.

Saona's face tightened with a grimace.

"It's just those bitches at my bachelorette party - well I shouldn't say bitches, but they got me this huge dildo as a joke right, and it says on the box that Steve was the guy it was modeled after," she explained. "And they don't believe me that he exists, let alone that I know him. I HAVE to prove them wrong."

Janet was intrigued. Before even considering how the two could go about tracking Steve down, it took some time for the news about Steve's modeling job to settle in. They kind of admired his ability to make some money off his gift, with Saona saying "it's about time he made that thing useful."

They laughed and reminisced about the fun they had with the lad back in their college dorm rooms.

With only a few minutes left before they returned to their executive positions upstairs, the two decided to get down to business. Janet asked Saona if she had ever taken any pictures of Mr. Ed to prove his existence to the other women. Somehow, she had never done so. It was then realized by the two beauties that if they ever had the elusive male figure in their presence again, they wouldn't make the same mistake twice.

Almost like they were talking about something they lost, Janet asked Saona to retrace her steps, asking her friend when was the last time she saw Mr. Ed.

"Um...oh God I remember I saw him at graduation," she said as she went to close the door to the cafeteria, providing a little privacy. "And he was wearing these tight suit pants that I guess he rented just for the day or something because they didn't fit well and...well, if you knew about his reputation and knew about the size of his dick, you could look and make out the outline of his penis, like it went - "

Saona then stood up, and ran her finger down her right leg, stopping about halfway to her knee. "It went all the way down to here," she said.

"Oh my God," Janet replied.

"I think he was relieved to put his gown on so he wouldn't be self-conscious," Saona remembered. "It was kind of obscene."

They had now gone past their lunch break.

"Do you think he needed to get his pants taylored a certain way because of his size?" Janet wondered aloud.

"I don't know, but we better get going. Hey, I just thought of something. You have two interns too right?" Saona asked.

"Yeah, why?" answered Janet as the two walked out of the cafeteria.

"Well, if yours are like mine, they have nothing to do during the day. We have to invent things for them to do actually. This would definitely be a good invention - having the four of them track down Steve," Saona explained.

Janet laughed. "Are - are you sure we could do that, I mean, without getting caught?" she asked.

Saona gave her a mischevous grin, one that implied they can get away with anything because of the power they possessed.

"Right. I'll have them on it this afternoon," Janet said.

"Excellent," Saona replied.

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The two brunette execs, young, bright and powerful, expertly delegated responsibilities to their college interns, and the four teenaged-women went about trying to track down this Steve McPerkison. They tried national directories, state-wide directories, the local phone book, the college Saona attended.

Nothing turned up.

Because they were merely filling intern positions, they were kept on the job since Saona really didn't need them for anything else.

While talking to her husband, Jack, on the phone that afternoon, Saona was interrupted by one of the interns, a perky blonde gal named Jamie.

"Saona, Saona! I reached that Steve guy you were trying to track down," she blurted out.

"Hold on one second, Jack. What is that Jamie? You did?" asked Saona, instantly interested.

"Well, sort of, I didn't actually talk to him but I reached his residence and spoke to his mom," the youngster explained.

"His mom?" asked the brunette.

"Yes, he lives with his mom, but she was very curt with me. She said 'I know the reason you're calling. Look, it's genetic. He was born like that, and he was always big for his age.' What was she talking about?" asked Jamie. "Is he very tall or something?"

"No, no, it's not that," Saona said, getting up from her desk.

"Obese? Is he fat?" asked the curious little kitten.

"Um, no," the exec replied.

"Saona I'm curious, what did she mean?" asked Jamie, unrelenting.

Saona could not trust the news of Steve's big secret with such an unreliable source, as it wouldn't go over so well if it was found out what the reason was behind Saona's search for this man.

"Um, listen Jamie, you've had a long week. Why don't you take the rest of the day off, just give me that address for Steve and we'll see you Monday," Saona instructed.

The perky youngster in the short skirt fetched the address off her desk and retreated back to her boss' office.

"St. Paul, Minnesota?" Saona read aloud to herself. "I gotta tell Jamie. We have to fly out tomorrow."

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Steve was about to come, both of his hands flying up and down on his huge shaft, his bed creaking as a result of his body's wicked contortions.

He envisioned a gorgeous woman on top of him, one that was able to take all of his manhood inside her. But alas it was just him, beating his humongous meat just like always.

But it was good fun for now. Just as he imagined the woman's welcoming pussy massaging his mighty prick, he shot off a load that drenched multiple parts of his body.

One stream after another of thick, hot come shot from his penis, drenching his thighs, his stomach, and some of it even hitting his chest.

He then had that moment of total relaxation, his soft penis laying on his leg. But his feeling of contentment was interrupted by a knock at the door.

Steve was supposed to give one of his mom's friends a package that afternoon, and he figured she was a little early.

Not wanting to miss the woman, he frantically went about getting dressed, having time to put on only a T-shirt and a pair of sweatpants.

The sweatpants were somewhat old, and small. His penis bulged out obscenely down the right pant leg.

But there was no time. Steve would just hand the package out the door without his lower body being seen and go back to his room.

There was another knock at the door, and another.

"I'm coming," Steve hollered, not realizing that statement had a double meaning.

He cracked opened the door and got the surprise of his life. It was two gorgeous women, in white tank tops, with sunglasses, in short shorts. Tanned perfectly. Legs exposed. Jesus, was he dreaming still?

Two brunettes, both with large, round breasts that were being shown off by those tight white tops.

"C-can I help you?" he asked, hiding behind the door.

"Mr. Ed?" asked one of the brunettes.

Then something clicked, Steve realizing the only women to call him by that name were the ones he had such an interesting relationship with in college.

And then the reality set in. As she removed her sunglasses, she looked a lot more familiar to the young man. The sly smile gave it away instantly. Even though she had died her hair, she was still very familiar to Steve.

"Saona?" he asked, thinking he was in a fantasy.

"Can we come in?" the brunette asked, even though it looked as if she was ready to barge in.

Steve was hesitant to do so, his attire not exactly appropriate for female company. But he obliged. He quickly grabbed the mail off the front porch and held it casually over his genital area.

"Mr. Ed, Janet, Janet, Mr. Ed," Saona introduced the two.

"I think we've met," Saona said, recalling a certain session he had with Janet years earlier.

"Alright Ed, let's just get down to it," Saona said, plopping her beautiful butt down on one of the sofas in the living room. "My friends bought me your dick for my bachelorette party."

Steve was instantly confused, befuddled. He had no idea what she meant, thinking maybe she had a slip of the tongue.

"W-what?" he asked.

"Your dick," she said. "Your giant dick. I open one of the gifts, and lo and behold, there is your dick."

Saona said the word "dick" with so much emphasis, the slang term practically jumped out of her mouth, and hit Steve right in his crotch.

"I-I don't know what you're talking about," he said, realizing very well that his "dick" was right there with him, in an uncompromising position.

Saona was disgusted, and rose from the sofa.

"I had to carry the goddam thing in a tote bag," she said, picking up and then dropping a big bag at his feet.

"It," Janet began, starting to crack up before she could finish. "It was too big to bring on the plane - it was too big to qualify as carry-on."

Now it began to set in what Saona had in that bag. Then it really set in.

Saona unzipped the brown duffel, and took from it a large, floppy, life-like yet oversized, fake penis. She lightly smacked him on the cheek with it.

"This, you idiot," she said. "They got me this for my bachelorette party, and they don't believe I know you, so - "

"I can't believe you got one of these. They only made a few thousand of them, and it was so long ago and I just - "

"Let me guess," Janet said. "You needed the money."

Saona held the fake penis up high in the air, the long shaft flopping about as she shook it, like a snake caught on a hook.

"Jesus, put that away, my mom's coming home soon," Steve said.

"You live with your mom?" Saona asked. "God, you are such a loser. I mean Jamie told me you lived with your mom but I didn't think it was possible."

Saona then had to explain who Jamie was, and while she was at it had to explain exactly why they had paid Steve a visit, to bring him back to New York to prove his existence to Saona's friends.

"My friends think I'm full of shit and they don't believe me that you exist," Saona went on. "And I can't be made to look like a fool."

The three then made small talk, with Saona and Janet revealing they were both married, and Steve saying that he was, at the time, unemployed, and in need of a getaway. Saona, doing quite well for herself these days, was able to pay for his plane fare, and seemed eager to get the trip underway.

Her legs had gotten bigger around the thighs, more toned and more sexy. The short shorts she was wearing in the August heat were ones that she was allowed to keep from a dance team tryout, a dance team that represented a professional basketball team.

Steve snuck as many glances at her legs as possible, knowing it would be great material to which he could masturbate to in some point in time.

The three stood there comfortably for a moment, but then, an awkward silence.

"So," Saona announced. "How is that big horse schlong of yours?"

"Saona!" Janet said with a laugh.

"Well, it's a perfectly good question," Saona replied. "You feeding him plenty of oates? You letting him graze in the backyard?"

The inevitable happened, as Saona began to cast her eyes downward toward Steve's crotch. He still clung to the mail that he was holding there, trying to cover up. The brunette noticed this, and knew something was amiss.

"Whatch 'ya get in the mail there today Ed?" she asked.

"Oh, just bills," he said, still holding the mail down below.

Saona and Janet looked at each other.

"You know Janet, it's funny, when I get the mail I usually hold it up closer to my eyes to see what it is, don't you?" Saona asked her friend.

"Yeah, Steve must have really good vision," she answered.

Another awkward silence. And then Saona lost her patience. She grabbed the mail from Steve's hand, and saw his bulging crotch, his penis snaking down his right pant leg and spots of moisture showing up all over.

"My word," Janet said as she walked away, taken back by the lude sight of his massive bulge.

Steve was embarrassed, Saona was amused, and she reached out and yanked his sweatpants down before he could recover.

Steve let out a groan as his penis, drenched in come, had stuck to the inside of his pants. It having stuck to the material, when it was yanked away from it, it caused it to flop around that much more, and wildly flew up in the air before settling down between his legs.

"Saona! I can't look at that thing," Janet squealed, leaving the room. Saona, however, looked on without shame.

"Let's compare the two," she said, grabbing for the fake penis. She held it up alongside Steve's penis, which began to elongate in the presence of such a dominant beautie.

Steve's penis began to harden and get thicker and longer, and as it did Saona freely copped a feel to compare it to the one she received as a gift.

"Yours is really hard, mine's kind of floppy," she said to herself.

Janet had re-entered the room, and walked up to the two.

"Wow, it's an incredible likeness," she said with a laugh while looking down at the two penises.

She then handed Steve a picture, and asked "is this your father?"

Steve took it from her, and with a smirk he replied "very funny."

"What is it? What is it?" Saona asked. The picture was of Steve, standing next to a horse.