Because of a mix-up with my appointment, the receptionist had said the doctor could only see me if some medical students observed the exam. I'd wanted to refuse what I imagined to be essentially a few extra doctors in the background.
So I was distraught to be shown into a room so large it had double doors, a crowd of about twenty chatty first-year students watching me. And in the centre of the room, the thing I had been avoiding for basically my whole life, a reclining gynaecology chair.
It was only my first year in university, and the students here looked young enough to be in my English classes or sharing my dorm. But the time had come where I could no longer put this off. I needed a medical opinion.
It was obvious who the doctor was, a thirty-something pretty woman, well-dressed with short dark hair. I walked over to where she waited with the class.
I had been expecting some kind preliminary chat, but she hadn't even offered me a seat. I couldn't stop looking at the spacious reclining chair with its ridiculously outstretched footrests.
"I've just read the form the receptionist gave you. Would you tell me what the problem is exactly?"
The class weren't exactly silent, but they were attentive. They stood behind the doctor in a messy semicircle. Being in the spotlight like this would have made me nervous under normal circumstances.
"Yes," I said, and then hesitated before starting. "I tried to have sex with my boyfriend recently, for the first time, but we couldn't."
"Have you tried to have penetrative intercourse before?"
"Not. Well. With fingers." I laughed nervously, eyes darting over the watching peers.
"Can you penetrate yourself?"
"Yes. Well, kind of. With one finger."
The students were whispering together behind the doctor, looking curious.
"So, you have a small vagina?"
"Yes." My mouth was so dry.
"Your outer labia as well as your opening?"
"Eh, my. Both." I was getting sweaty.
"Okay, well you drop your underpants, and I'll have a look."
"Here?"
I was standing in the middle of the room, had my rear facing the unlocked double doors onto a busy corridor.
She didn't answer, and I began fumbling with the button of my jeans. I had to get it done, quick and painless. Couldn't ignore it any longer. I wanted to finally have sex, needed this sorted.
In one motion, I pushed my trousers down to my knees. I grabbed the waistband of my panties, whipped them down, and stood up straight.
There it was. Out in the open. I'd finally done it. It was no longer a secret.
There was an explosion of chatter from the students.
"Oh my God," one of the girls said, laughing, before she could stop. "What the fuck?"
"Jesus," a guy blurted.
My hands quickly covered my privates, wanting to burst into tears. But the doctor reached down and moved my arms to my sides.
Everyone was craning for a better look. The doctor looked fascinated too.
"Oh wow," she said. "How unusual."
She lifted the bottom of my T-shirt a bit, and asked me to hold it.
I had shaved a week ago, for when I'd tried to have sex with Adam. So I had a bit of dark stubble on my pubis and lips. It did nothing to hide my miniscule, protruding pussy though. My mound was a tiny but distinct bulge that stuck out between my legs, about 3cm wide.
Very rounded, almost like half a ping-pong ball, it projected down from the bottom of my pubis. Not being wide enough to reach my inner thighs made it so much more pronounced, despite its size. My lips were puffy enough to be noticeable, with a very short, simple slit between them.
"That is very tiny," said the doctor. I thought I could see a hint of amusement in her eyes. "I've never seen a vagina like that before. Well, this will be an interesting examination. Why don't you finish getting undressed. Everything off, please."
I pulled up my panties and jeans, waiting for her to tell me where I could strip.
"Right here is fine," she said.
"There isn't a curtain to go behind? Or a gown."
"There's no curtain, but I'll get you a gown."
I was left alone in front of the murmuring class for few seconds as she walked away and then returned holding a long, white paper vest.
"I can put your things on the table here," she said, as if being helpful.
"Thanks," I grumbled.
I knelt to untie my shoes, and handed them over with my socks. Then down came my trousers, all the way off, and I'd folded them and handed them over too. There was a painful squirming in my gut.
I pulled my top up and over my head, and held it to my chest for a moment before reluctantly letting the doctor take it. I felt like my knees were about to give way. Here were twenty college students, whispering and smiling, while I stood in my little blue bra and knickers.
"Your underwear, please. Bra too."