They were settling into their new surroundings fairly quickly. Over the years they had become accustomed to moving and starting over. Mickey had spent his first two years out of seminary as a member of the ministerial staff of a large congregation not far from his alma mater. Then it was Texas, where he was assigned to a small church that grew rapidly under his leadership. After ten years, he was reassigned to a struggling congregation in the northeast for two years. He had been successful in engineering a turnaround there, so the rest of his career was largely spent doing the same thing, shuttling from one declining church to the next, usually restoring them to some sense of health before moving on to another.
He and Kate had crisscrossed the country, uprooting themselves and moving every two or three years. The first two moves were the hardest on Kate. She had loved their first little "nest" and she had built so many memories in their second home that it was hard to leave. Aside from the friendships, their only child had been born there. But she came to love the new places just as well. Meeting new people, seeing new things, learning, and expanding herself excited her. She had also found that being a perpetual "newcomer" gave her an insight that served her well when she began working in the real estate industry. She knew what new arrivals were looking for when they were settling in a new place. And the income certainly helped.
If they had taken the time to think about it, they would have realized that each new location developed their relationship in one specific way or another. Those first two years provided Mickey with a very stable schedule. Out the door at 8:30, home at 5:15, and one weekday off each week. It gave the couple a chance to learn about one another and to become accustomed to married life. It was also where they eventually learned how to please one another.
It was their first January together. The busy Christmas schedule at church had come to an end and they were traveling to visit Mickey's parents for a late family holiday. A generous congregant provided airline tickets to the young couple so that they could avoid the possibility of harsh winter conditions as they traveled.
They arrived at the airport early and wandered into a bookstore to kill some time. Mickey browsed news magazines while Kate roamed between the scattered shelves. As she turned down another row her eye was drawn to the bold title print of "The Sensuous Couple." She considered the title briefly before moving on. Stopping a few feet away, she picked up another paperback while she wondered about the possible content of the book that had grabbed her attention. Setting the book back down, she walked farther away, only to return a few seconds later. She nervously looked over her shoulder to see if anyone was watching before grabbing the book from the shelf. She stepped toward the corner of the store, and quickly perused the chapter titles and read the back cover.
She felt her pulse quicken a bit. This felt like a book she shouldn't have, but even a quick review of its contents told her that she - and Mickey - needed to read it. Or something like it. She wasn't dissatisfied with their love life but she didn't feel satisfied by it either. Without allowing herself to overthink it, she stepped quickly to the counter and bought the book, using money her mother had sent her for Christmas. She dropped it quickly into her bag, glancing over her shoulder one final time.
Mickey stepped up just as the clerk finished counting her change back into her hand. "Find something?"
"Yeah. I thought I might want to read on the plane and I forgot to bring a book. I had that money from Mom." She knew that there was no way she would dare pull that book out in public, and hoped that Mickey wouldn't notice that the book she
had
brought to read had been lying on her nightstand for a week.
It wasn't until they returned home and Mickey went to the office that she was finally able to pull it out. The first chapter seemed fairly clinical. Men and women are different. Sex is important. Couples need to be intimate. These were all facts she readily knew and understood.
The second chapter held the key to what she had been looking for. Sex was about pleasure, and pleasure can be created in a wide variety of ways. Some physical, some mental. Pleasure might be manifested as an orgasm, a physical sensation, or even a charge to the brain and emotions.
Kate was certain that she had never had an orgasm. At least not the way the author described it. And she wasn't sure that she could even say that sex had been pleasurable. Sure, she loved the closeness with Mickey and she knew that he was satisfied. There was physical evidence of that. She had dutifully washed it out of herself every their every encounter.
A chapter or two later, she was no longer sure that he
was
satisfied. Yes, he had an orgasm every time they made love, but was he really experiencing pleasure? Or enough pleasure?
On Thursday of that week, Mickey woke to the smell of bacon and coffee. It smelled like a Saturday. He wandered out to the kitchen to find Kate, in a long black negligee, piling French toast onto a plate. He mentally searched his calendar. It was no one's birthday or anniversary. Her wardrobe indicated that company was not expected.
She answered his unspoken question. "I thought we might do something special on your day off."
He felt the beginning of an erection and thought that he, in fact, might like to "do something" or "someone". He kept his thoughts to himself.
"That would be nice. You look amazing."
"Thank you," she smiled. "Now have a seat. I was just about to come and wake you up."
The thought of her waking him up in that gown - leaning over him in the bed, those amazing breasts suspended right in front of him - added more blood to his growing stiffness. He decided to say nothing.
"Well, I'm glad I didn't sleep through this."
She slid the plate of French toast toward him. "The syrup is warm and I think the bacon is how you like it."
Breakfast was delicious and Mickey was too busy devouring his to notice that Kate was merely pushing her food around her plate.
"I need to tell you something," she began. Her voice sounded serious.
"Sure," Micky answered, mopping up the last of the syrup with his final piece of bread.
"I lied to you."
She now had his full attention.
"At the airport. In the bookstore."
He couldn't even remember a conversation in the bookstore.
"I bought this." She pulled the book off of the chair next to her and handed it over to him. She waited nervously for his reaction.
"Why wouldn't you want to tell me?' He flipped through the pages.
"I don't know. It kind of seemed, you know, wrong or bad."
"Is it pornographic?"
"No! It's just about, you know... things we don't talk about usually."
That was evident to him just by reading the table of contents. There were a couple of chapters that particularly caught his eye. There would be time to review them later, he knew.
"So, why did you buy it?"
Kate took in a long breath, held it, and finally exhaled. "I don't know. Curious, I guess."
"About?"
She shrugged. "All of it, I suppose. Are we doing it right? Are we missing something? Sometimes it just seems sort of... I don't know... monotonous. I hear people talk about sex like it's some dark, hidden, wonderful, mystic, addictive event. It doesn't seem that way to me, so I just wonder what we... what I'm missing."
She was immediately sorry she said it. She could read the disappointment on Mickey's face. She hadn't meant to hurt him. He stayed silent far too long.
He stifled his impulse to respond. In a rare moment, he allowed his thoughts to gather before his words. He wanted to satisfy his wife. Obviously, he was failing. But as he thought about it, he realized that the only thing he knew how to do was penetrate her and thrust repeatedly. It was enough for him, so he had assumed it was enough for her.
