Dayna's eyes wandered to the window. The sun was setting, aglow and picturesque. The small town below her was bustling with activity, and she watched from above with a glass of cheap wine in hand. All the happy couples below left her feeling a twinge of jealousy, followed by a wave of guilt. She didn't want to live a life where she admired other people's happiness, yet, here she was.
One couple stood out in particular. They were walking hand in hand, laughing and joking together. They were obviously obsessed with each other, much like she and John when they first got together. Sometimes, Dayna longed for the early days of her relationship with John. Everything was new then, and they were both so full of passion and excitement. Now, it felt like they're just going through the motions.
She continued watching them for a moment, then turned away with a sigh. She took a sip of her wine, then set it down on the table with a clink. She walked into their dimly lit living room and saw John sitting in front of his computer, engrossed in his video game.
She flopped down on the couch next to him and heaved a dramatic sigh. "I'm bored," she told him, batting her eyelashes.
John looked over at her from where he was sitting on the floor in front of the TV, game controller in hand. He shrugged in response. "There's nothing to do."
"Boring," Dayna muttered under her breath. She crossed her arms and scooted away from him, putting as much distance between them as possible.
John sighed and put down the controller, getting up to sit next to Dayna on the couch. "What do you want me to do about it?" he asked her.
Dayna turned to look at him, pouting prettily. "I don't know," she said. "You're always so wrapped up in your games."
"This isn't just a game, it's my career."
"I know, I know," Dayna said with a roll of her eyes--she didn't need a reminder. She knew. "But can't you take a break from it for just one night?"
"I'm sorry. It just doesn't work like that. If I commit to a game, my followers want me to be online to do it," John told her sincerely. He reached out to take her hand, giving it a squeeze reassuringly. "We'll hang out another night."
"It's fine," Dayna sighed, her shoulders slumping in defeat. "I just wish things were like they used to be."
"Well, you used to have a job." John pointed out.
"I'm sorry, what do you mean?" Dayna asked, her brow furrowed in confusion. "Is this the reason why you've been so distant lately?"
"I didn't mean it like that," John quickly backtracked. "I just meant that you used to be busy with work and, you know, things outside the house. Now you're here all the time and it's just... different."
"Different, how?" Dayna asked, her voice small.
"Since you lost your job, you've let yourself go. You're not taking care of yourself, and it shows," John told her, only half joking.
"What are you talking about?" Dayna asked him, her voice rising in anger. "I take care of myself just fine."
"No, you don't," John said bluntly. "You're always moping around the house in your sweatpants, with your hair a mess."
"So what you're saying is that if I were hotter, then you would suddenly have more time for me?" she asked rhetorically, rolling her eyes.
John hesitated for a moment before saying, "I think you're stuck in a rut. I can't tell if you're trying to find yourself for the first time or you've lost yourself completely. I just want what's best for you."
Dayna was silent for a moment, mulling over his words. Finally, she got to her feet and stalked off to the bathroom, slamming the door shut behind her.
As soon as she locked the door, tears fell from her eyes. The pain of knowing John no longer found her attractive was too much to bear. She examined herself in the mirror and could see why he might have lost interest; she did look rather frumpy. Her hair was pulled back in a messy bun, and she was wearing a sweater that her grandma had knitted for her six years ago. It wasn't exactly sexy, but she liked wearing it. It made her feel close to her grandma when she physically couldn't be.
And I mean, does she need to be perfect all the time? Admittedly, she was enjoying not caring so much about herself. Back when she worked, she rarely had time to just remember to breathe, and sleep.
After turning on the faucet, Dayna waited for the tub to fill before adding some lavender bubble bath. She then undressed and reflected on her body in the mirror. Even with regular exercise and a healthy diet, she noticed her stomach was more bloated than normal, likely due to her recent increase in wine intake. The dark circles under her eyes were now a part of her look, maybe from oversleep? Could that be a thing?
Dayna sighed and closed her eyes, desperate to forget the image of herself. "Why did I let myself go like this?" She thought, being overly critical of herself.
She got into the bath slowly, sinking until the water reached her chin. She closed her eyes and let out a deep sigh as she felt her muscles finally relax. She leaned against the porcelain of her bathtub, replaying cherished memories with John in her mind. It all started with their first kiss--she remembered how wonderful it had felt and how giddy she'd been afterward.
And then there were intimate moments they shared together...her cheeks heated up as she thought back to the first time they made love; it was unforgettable.
She towel-dried her hair and body before she got into bed. She could hear John puttering around in the living room and knew he was getting ready for bed too. Eventually, despite her worries, she fell asleep--but it wasn't a restful sleep. Vivid nightmares of John cheating on her with a younger woman plagued her mind.
In the morning, she woke up feeling exhausted. Her eyes were puffy and red from all the crying. She reached for John, but he was gone. She got out of bed and walked to the living room, but he wasn't there either.
It was then that she noticed a note on the table.
Dayna,
I'm sorry that our relationship hasn't been going well recently. I know I've been busy with work, but I need to focus on creating content for my channel. I don't want to lose you, but maybe we need a breather.
We need some time to figure out what we each want and if we still want to be together. Let's talk when I get home from class.
Love always, John
After reading the letter, Dayna's eyes watered, and she felt her heart drop to her stomach. She worried about what this meant for their relationship and if they could come back from this. She loved John, but she wasn't sure if he felt the same way about her anymore.
Marching back and forth across the kitchen, she noticed the leftover wine from last night. She poured herself a large glass to calm her emotions--even though it was only noon. She downed it quickly and then refilled her glass, gulping it down until she felt physically and emotionally numbed.
Dayna's muscles relaxed as the alcohol seeped in, and her mind started to wander. She reminisced about how things used to be between her and John - the way he looked at her tenderly, and touched her with love. It was all so different now. Could she ever make things go back to the way they were?
Before she knew it, an entire bottle of wine was gone, and Dayna's head swam with anxious and slightly incoherent thoughts. She didn't know what to do... but deep down inside, she loved John dearly and knew that something needed to change.
She longed to reconnect with John and remind him of her never-ending love. She had a plan...one that would get his attention more than ever before. Quickly finishing the last sip in her glass, Dayna stumbled into her bedroom and sat on the edge of her bed, looking at her closet.
Her closet was filled with clothes that she thought were appropriate--long skirts, high necklines, nothing too tight or too revealing. She came from a conservative family and had always dressed modestly, and even in the height of her sexual awakening, she had never strayed too far from her comfort zone. But tonight, she needed to feel sexy. She wanted John to see her as someone desirable, someone worth fighting for.
She slowly approached the mirror, not wanting to face her reflection. But she had to take a look eventually to confront what she saw. And what she saw was a tired woman. Her eyes were bloodshot and puffy, and her cheeks were stained with dried tears. She quickly washed her face, trying to erase the evidence of her crying, but it was no use. It was time to accept that she looked like a mess.
Thankfully, her inebriation eclipsed her self-doubt.
John came home from class to find Dayna waiting for him. He was in disbelief when he saw her coming towards him wearing a see-through black nightgown. The hallway's light danced across her slim body, accentuating her curves.
As they embraced, he could feel her heat against him.
"Hey, baby," she said, wrapping her arms around his neck. "I missed you.".
