(RECAP)
"What the fuck are you doing?" Carlie snatched at my bicep pinching my arm half whispering. I turned away from the community corkboard looking at her roundish face with the oversized glasses, unperturbed.
"Hanging up some flyers for a student film festival; what's your malfunction?"
"How did you find me?"
"You grabbed me miss, now excuse me." I turned back to the corkboard getting ready to staple another colored piece of paper to the wall. Carlie was looking around giving me the impression she was afraid to be seen with me.
"Excuse you huh, you stalking me?" She asked in a hushed whisper.
"Uh, who are you again?"
"Ha ha, very funny nigga; you trying to get at Renee, huh?" I stopped what I was doing staring at her for a few seconds before going back to the board.
She looked oddly disarming round face, thick glasses and headwrap with the ball atop her head like some black silken balloon. If you didn't know Carlie, you would peg her as a young woman wrapped up in her religion, but I knew otherwise.
"Please; uhm, what is your name again?" Carlie was wearing a African wrap dress with this muted decorative print, wholly pretentious.
"You know my fucking name." She stood there with her books held tightly to her chest, face scrunched up like a mad ball. This thin, slightly lanky sister was trying to intimidate me and I found it amusing.
"Maybe you should take your meds darling."
I walked out of the student day room to the strains of Erica Badu's Window Seat leaving her there at the board. The place was starting to get crowded and I preferred my space.
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MAXIMUM BADONKADONK Chapter 13
Featuring:
Esther-46-38-62 1/2 (47 years old)
Charity Gilbert-38F-29-39 (19 years old)
Phoebe -34DD-26-38 (28 years old)
Tressie Fisher-44EE-44-48 (23years old)
Guest Star: Carlie Kelly-36C-25-36 (20 years old)
Male Cast Member: Bentley
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"Boy open that garage door."
I went for it finding a bit of difficulty lifting the door outward eventually requiring a little help from my auntie. The interior was stuffed to the gills with excess furniture, some of it still in the shipping boxes, various baskets, and crates and two racks burgeoning with all manner of clothes likely brought by my aunt on the fly. We exchanged glances silently noting the waste of money.
"Some of them there clothes over there belong to that heifer Maisy; I kicked her tail and kept that shit cause she thought she was gonna slide up in here with your Uncle. She knew she was outclassed when she got a load of my back porch but flapped her gums anyhow. Got kinda mouthy and I don't go for that with nobody."
"Did you really throw her down the stairs auntie."
"Yup." It was a bit of gossip that made the sewing circles in the family, but I was just trying to be funny. Auntie Esther was serious.
"So uhm, what do you want me to pull out first ma'am?"
"Nuh-thin." Her country accent hung thick in the air.
"I don't get it; I'm supposed to clean out this storage bin, right?" Auntie Esther was already walking away digging in her pocket producing her keys remotely opening the trunk of her gold Escalade. She reached inside for a backpack pulling out a tablet booting it up.
"Leave that to the Mexicans I done hired; my good friend Mr. Iglesias and his boys gonna take care of it. Now boy, don't be coy with me because we both know why you're here; unless you done got yourself a good case of that there amnesia?"
"Not at all, what're you doing there?" Auntie Esther scoffed at the question as I walked up beside her finding her looking at an app.
"Making damn sure your uncle ain't got none of them there surprises waiting for me. He been acting out lately, so I gotta keep an eye on the old boy. He might've figured out his hired hand been giving me them back shots on the low." Both of us were looking at my uncles RV moving on the digital map reflected on the screen. I just shook my head chuckling.
"What's so funny?"
"This shit makes me never want to get married."
"Well, it comes with the territory and such; you wanna have a kingdom, you gonna give something up. Two people living, eating, drinking, fucking and shitting under the same roof comes with its own set of ticks and quirks. Getting married isn't supposed to be no fucking happy ending boy; it's the beginning of something new."
"Still don't wanna get married."
"Bullshit, all it takes is the right sized ass and a little whispering in the ear to make a man give up the house keys. You just ain't found the right girl is all, boy. Heck if I was a bit younger, I'd put it on you fierce just to watch them pretty brown eyes of yours go all googly." She handed me the tablet allowing me to watch.