(RECAP)
"Fuck you, now tell me what's up with that shitty fuck boy Officer Johnson?"
"I guess he's got two main topflight bitches who rank way above you and Phoebe because he hooked them up, one got a bracelet and his number two, got a diamond ring Charity. So, I don't know, maybe he's got a list and you were naughty."
"What's so funny nigga?" I loved how she verbally went street when pissed.
"I'm just saying that I figured you might wanna start rolling that snowball down the hill, if you get my drift." Charity was quiet for a minute pondering the metaphorical handcuffs I'd just removed from her wrists.
"Restrictions?"
"If it gets back to me; you're going down with me and no Mandingo."
"You promised me Andre before I got involved in your shit."
"Okay you're right; so if you gotta burner phone I'll get right to work on delivering that dildo to you post haste Charity."
"I think I have one or two laying around; got my first because Jayson kept going through my iPhone after somebody snitched me out. How'd you know I had a burner phone?"
"Because you're a conniving bitch." I laughed as she mumbled something inaudible into the phone.
"Oh I wanna stick three fingers in your asshole and make you my puppet nigga." That was definitely not what I wanted to hear knowing she threatened me with a hand cupped over her mouth.
"Charity?"
"What?!"
"Can I have a titty pic?"
She hung up in my face as I continued laughing my ass off.
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MAXIMUM BADONKADONK Chapter 12
Featuring:
Charity Gilbert-38F-29-39 (19 years old)
Phoebe -34DD-26-38 (28 years old)
Tressie Fisher-44EE-44-48 (23years old)
Andre 13.5
Guest Star: Esther-46-38-62 1/2 (47 years old)
Carlie Kelly-36C-25-36 (20 years old)
Cameo: Shawnee Thompson a.k.a Ms. WTF?!! (34A-32-??)
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"Wow, I guess Charity's motivated."
Almost eight hours after I took the cuffs off my "partner in crime" was running wild online as evidenced by several social media pages. In short the lesson was reinforced that you never underestimate a scorned woman in any capacity. I myself had recently taken that class and was now getting a refresher course as an observer.
Charity Gilbert started contacting Officer Johnson's myriad hookups and side chicks sowing the seeds of dissension with a razor sharp edge. I was bearing witness to a real life butterfly effect I'd weaponized by forwarding pics of the luxury jewelry gifted to Carlie Kelly and Rashida Sikes, respectively. Memes disparaging black men started popping up across several pages along with negative testimonials about the good Officer Johnson.
"Oh shit, it's getting real out on these streets." One humiliating pic posted on one female's page revealed a pair of Officer Johnson's tighty whities with a skidmark up the middle of its interior. It got me wondering why some woman would take a pic of that let alone save it for prosperity.
Before I could finish that thought another pic appeared revealing the officers feet sticking out from under the covers of some young ladies bed. One sock had been removed revealing some gnarly looking fungus on his toenails. There was an accompanying second long clip of the woman who favored Phylicia Rashad removing the single black sock before looking at the camera disgusted.
"Damn bruh, you need to hit up that Dr. Scholl's my nigga." It was passive revenge but felt invigorating none the less as I found another interesting clip.
My laptop screen was completely filled up with some sister's big, bubbled butt in a pair of ill-fitting booty shorts with the now universal phrase "DIVEST" emblazoned across the ass in the OLD SPORT cheerleading font.
This was a clip that saw the weird Muppet looking woman with a head full of dreads pluck down glowering in front of the camera producing a large pair of scissors. This disturbed female presented the scissors to the camera leaning back suddenly producing a sneaker.
It was one of the BIG BALLER brand, a single shoe of a pair easily worth 495.00. This woman identified by the simple screen name of Funkadelic Poppy began methodically cutting the toe off the shoe.
"My only regret is that your foot isn't in this fucking shoe."
I was shocked at the authoritative sound of her voice as she cut through the shoe holding the severed piece up in front of the camera. I surfed around finding more disparaging comments posted to the officer's main page most focused on pics that contained his wife. I found a link left by some anonymous woman identified only by a shit emoji.
"Aw damn bruh; say it ain't so."
That link led to a homemade sex tape that seemed to be filmed without the officer's consent. This humongous black woman that looked like something akin to Jabba the Hut was basically engulfing Officer Johnson in an abomination of cowgirl styled sex as he screamed reaching several octaves.
"I'M CUMMING BIG MAMMA!! I'M CUMMING SO HARD FOR YOU!!" I could make out his head, and arm and one foot under the generous folds of flab draped across her mountainous body. Big Mamma had this incredulous look on her face mouthing "WTF" to the hidden camera.
"Nigga you just put it in." I gathered this female wanted the sex tape to prove that she'd actually slept with him.