It was the sort of thing that begins with high hopes. It feels like a fantasy fuel adventure.
I'd signed up for a new service on my mobile phone, a dating service using the latest technology. It was exciting but as the months passed without any interest, my excitement faded into mute acceptance that I wasn't going to get lucky.
What was supposed to happen was this: You type your vital statistics into a web site, and list the characteristics of the person you want to meet. It was pretty comprehensive and definitely tailored towards the 'adult' end of the market, which of course was exactly what I wanted. It also required a photo.
Your details are entered into a database and matched with people who you're likely to be compatible with you. The clever bit came next, you tell it the details of your mobile phone and using the signal from it, it keeps track of you and any potential matches. When you get within a certain user specified distance of a match you get an alert message and the details and photo of that person, who, at the same time gets your details.
If both people tell their phones that they want to meet the other person then phone numbers get automatically swapped and you're free to get in contact. It's then up to both of you to decide whether or not to meet.
I signed up for the service 6 months ago, and up until last week I'd not received a single alert.
As I said, I started off with high hopes, I'd originally set the distance to 100 meters, confident of finding someone.
Three months ago, I'd pushed it up to two kilometers, the maximum distance allowed.
Even then, for three barren months my phone remained steadfastly silent, I considered changing my profile in order to attract more people but ultimately that was pointless, the whole idea was to meet a specific someone, not just the same old anybody's you can meet in any old bar.
Don't get me wrong, I've had sex in the last six months, some of it even good, but none of those women wanted the same as me, most I didn't even bother asking, they were vanilla when all I wanted was a little bit of rum n raisin.
One of them tried for me, she wanted to please me. Her name was Becky, a lovely girl halfway through university.
I still use images of her in my head when I masturbate. Her delicious peachy bottom raised in the air, as she waited expectantly and nervously for me to do my thing. She hadn't enjoyed it, and therefore neither had I. Well, at least tried she tried. I still have a soft spot for her, she has a new fella now, and I'm genuinely pleased for her.
And then a week ago, it happened.
I was in a pub with a couple of friends. It was the first time in ages I'd been out with them, they're older than me and have wives, girlfriends and children getting in the way of quality drinking time. They both have to consult their diaries and partners whenever they want to go out. A typical conversation would go like this:
"I can do Wednesday next week but that's it."
"Nah, sorry, Camilla's got her gym class on Wednesday nights, how about the week after?"
It doesn't help that I'm younger than them. They've done the partying, the drinking, the girls, whereas I feel like I'm just beginning. I wasted my late teens and early twenties and so now I want to catch up, but they're ready to put on their slippers.
I was on my second pint, settling into the comfortable seats of the cubicle. We were in a quiet corner of the pub, I was a little annoyed we couldn't sit somewhere with a view of the bar but I'd already accepted I wasn't on the pull that particular night.
My phone vibrated within my pocket, it felt like I'd received a text message. I ignored it for a few moments, not really caring. I doubted it would be anything interesting, in fact it was probably a spam text, and I'd been getting a lot of those recently.
During a lull in our typically mature conversation about the particular merits of older actresses that used to be and may or may not still be gorgeous (Goldie Hawn anyone?) I retrieved my phone from my trouser pocket, flipped it open and retrieved my message.
I felt a hot flush of excitement colour my cheeks, I tried to remain calm as neither of my friends knew about the phone-dating thing and I wanted to keep it that way. Beneath the table my cock began to swell. Could this be it?
"Anything exciting?" asked Toby, he's a colleague from work, I've known him for eight years and to my surprise, I was best man at his wedding, mainly due to him having no one else to choose from.
"Nah, fucking Modaphone telling me about their latest offer, you'd think they'd be happy that I'm a customer already, but no they want to squeeze every single fucking penny they can from me."
It was an easy lie to tell, my hatred of the phone company was well known.
I returned the phone to my pocket and waited, willing my cock to relax, as I couldn't stand up as I was. It took a while, images of Becky's buttocks swimming unwanted in my mind.
Eventually, my excitement subsided, well at least the physical signs did, inside I was wound up tight with nervous tension.
I made my excuses.
"Sorry lads I think that curry's getting to me," I said and disappeared to the toilets, locking myself inside a cubicle.
I flipped open the phone and read the message again.
MOBILE DATE MATCH FOUND WITHIN 2K RADIUS. VIEW DETAILS YES/NO
Excitedly I pressed
YES
and her details came up on screen, together with a typically unclear phone picture. I could see she was a red head, slim and pale skinned. She wore a light blue slightly cropped top and it looked like she had a lovely smile.
"She'll do." I murmured to myself, my erection returning. She would definitely do.
Her name was Heather, she was 24. She'd not listed many mundane details about her star sign, job, hobbies etc. It seemed to me that like me, she'd concentrated on the interesting stuff.
I scrolled down through the list of options, reading her answers, she seemed like a perfect match, she was open, answering even the most personal questions, and her answers excited me.
It seemed that she was like me, eager to try new things but with little actual experience, she was curious and keen.
After scrolling down the bottom of the page I found another option.
DO YOU WISH TO SEND AND RECEIVE CONTACT DETAILS? YES/NO?
I suddenly realised that she would be facing the same question, doubt entered me like a virus, multiplying with horrifying speed.
Of course she wouldn't want to meet me, in fact she was probably showing my picture around to her friends right now and laughing at me. What if one of them knew me already, my shame would be total.
Nevertheless, I of course, pressed
YES
. Another prompt immediately came up on the screen.
DO YOU WISH TO SEND FLIRT MESSAGE WITH CONTACT DETAILS? YES/NO?