After going months without being touched, I gave in and scheduled an appointment with a friend for a massage. The massage was on board and appropriate. My reactions, probably a bunch not appropriate. Unfortunately my dirty little mind imagines and wanders with the wonderful deep massage that speaks to my masochist side, which he very much knows. Please keep in mind, the sexual aspects are very much all in my head.
Today I drove to the massage studio, a bundle of nerves. Determined to be good and not embarrass my masseuse with moans, groans and whimpers. Also promised myself I'd not grab him to help with the strong pleasure I get from a strong, deep massage. In my head during the ride over a mantra of 'I will behave. I will not make him uncomfortable.'
Walking up to the studio, I have butterflies in my tummy. My shy side at war with my want to have his hands pleasuring me. I mean fixing my tense muscles. Get it together. I will behave.
I open the door and walk in. He's sitting at the front desk with a coworker. My eyes dart to him and quickly to the floor. I'm so nervous and excited. I check myself and try hard to act normal.
He walks me to the room and allows me to undress and get comfortable on the table before coming in. As I lay there waiting, my mind wanders to thinking how it'd feel for him to stay and insist I get ready with an observer or for him to undress me himself. I start feeling horny. Shit! Behave behave!