Mailgirls Down Under

This was the meeting that Mitchell Johnson was dreading. Shane, his second in command in the Australian operations of Harada Industries, laid out the situation to Mitch and Belinda, the Head of HR. "We have the contracts signed, we have gym converted and we have the dildo stations ready to be set up. That will take about an hour or so. We have the IT gear ready to go and those guys have signed all the disclosure agreements that we could think of. So all we need is a start day."

"Let me think on it," Mitch suggested.

"Monday," Shane replied.

"What?" Mitch retorted.

Shane was calm and straight. "Let's start it Monday." He looked to Belinda who shrugged and nodded. "Think about it. It's clean, everyone is ready. And it gets Mr Harada off our backs. And by the time he gets himself organised to interfere, everything will be running smoothly and it will be too late."

Belinda spoke up. "I will confirm that Wendy is ready for the launch." Mitch looked quizzically at her. "Wendy," she reminded him, "the mailgirls' supervisor. You know, the one who did the shortlist with me." Mitch remembered and nodded his tired assent.

"Great," Shane enthused. "I'll get everything organised. Belinda will tell the mailgirls to be prepared, and I'll get Betty Cuthbert to organise the press." Mitch looked at him, horrified. "So they can cover the launch, Mr Harada would want that." Mitch's mouth stayed open. "Joking," burst Shane. There would be no press.

"But," added Belinda, "it would be good if you could give a short speech, Mitch. Just to remind everyone what is expected."

Of course, Mitch worried as he nodded carefully. Everyone will be wondering what to expect. Not least of all himself.

***

Jessica greeted Mitch at the door that night with a concerned look. "Our daughter is not going to become a mailgirl," she declared.

Mitch sighed. "She's spoken to you too. No, she's not. And believe me, I had nothing to do with it. I only got to vet the short-listers."

Jessica relaxed at that news with a smirk. "You vetted the short-listers. I don't recall you telling me about that. It must have been onerous."

Mitch smiled back at his wife. "If I lay even a finger on them I get into trouble."

Jessica was not done with the discussion. "And if you lay an eye on them..."

"They are..." Mitch stammered, wondering why any discussion of the subject with his sensible, understanding wife was so difficult. Was there something about her attitude to mailgirls that he had missed? How many ways could he assure her? Mitch looked at Jessica, pleading.

Jessica backed down. "I know, naked women running around are a normal part of your working day." She smirked. She knew, Mitch had explained the rules.

***

Two men and a woman in overalls with the hi-viz came around the corner into Betty Cuthbert's area. Mitchell Johnson's PA stopped what she was doing on her computer. The man who led the other two in appeared to be in charge as he studied his tablet while the other two hauled in a low table between them, following him as he studied what were evidently his instructions, the office plan, or both.

"What are you doing?" Betty Cuthbert demanded in her most managerial voice.

"The plans say to put this here," the man in charge commented while trying not to engage with her.

"Put what where?" Betty pronounced loudly, clearly ready for a fight.

The hi-viz woman spoke up like she thought her gender could ease down the tension. "The plans say that we have to put a dildo station here."

For some reason that did not seem to please Betty Cuthbert. "I'm not having any of those things anywhere near me," she told them adding that there would be great vengeance if they tried to follow the plan.

The boss tried nonchalance. "And furious anger?" Betty Cuthbert did not flinch. He looked closely at his tablet. "There has to be one on each level, that's what this thing is telling us."

Betty stood up and approached them with the confidence of someone who regularly wielded power. "Listen to what I am telling you," she ordered. "You see that corner over there? The one that you came from. Please put it behind that corner, right behind the corner," as she added vehemently "Where. I. Can. Not. See. It. Thank you," she added sweetly.

She returned to her seat, confident that she had sorted that problem out to her satisfaction.

***

Mitch was dreading Monday. To make things worse, he told none of his family during the weekend what was going to happen in the office after those few days off. Instead he was just unusually irritable and refused to explain why. He wondered how the six mailgirls were handling their last few days of normalcy and decided that they were probably relaxed about it and resigned to what would happen. The interviews suggested that they had all worked out in their own ways what they were doing and why. The five that he had interviewed. Although they were not the ones who carried responsibility for the program. They just had to look after themselves. The five.

Their contracts made it pretty clear that they were going to be well looked after as well as well paid. No wonder Jackson had agreed to be a mailgirl for three months. She had worked out a pretty cushy wicket for the term of her contract. Probably a lot less stressful than her usual job. He wondered how she would handle it. Jackson. Jackson who had not interviewed or taken anything off or in any way shown that she was capable of being a mailgirl. She had simply gone straight into his office, looked him in the eye and told him she would do it. It was too late to do anything about it, Mitch decided. Finally, he slept well on Sunday night.

And the other thing. Mitch had been trying to prepare his speech for Monday. Every attempt had either been too pompous, contained observations that were probably not wise to make in front of his staff or the mailgirls or was otherwise just boring and pointless, an interesting irony considering what was going happen in the office. And each draft seemed to turn into a litany of warnings. That was not the way to launch the program, he knew that. Was his starting point really that the presence of six naked women all day in the office would turn everybody back to the worst aspects of their adolescence? It seemed so. He knew that haranguing the staff at the start of their adventure was not a good idea.

So he decided to wing it. He would look around on the day and get inspiration on his feet. He would be positive at all costs. He did toy with the phrase "I hereby declare the mailgirls open" but knew he was not going to say that.

And then it was nine o'clock on Monday morning and Mitch was standing in front of perhaps half of his staff with a number of others watching on the video link. Mitch knew that the six who soon to be mailgirls were there dressed, amongst their unsuspecting colleagues in the meeting room, clothed in the office for the last time and soon to be revealed. He looked around for Betty Cuthbert, but she had carried out her threat to stay at her desk and look after any incoming calls.

Mitch rabbited on for a short while about the exciting phase about to happen in their office, first time in Australia, the noble traditions of Harada Industries, then assuming that he had said enough that no one would remember, he introduced Wendy Turnbull, a large but appealing woman who would be the mailgirls' supervisor. Then without any clever comments, as plain as he could make it, he named the mailgirls one by one. As each one was announced, she moved to the front from where she had been standing in the room, stripped off her clothes and handed them to Wendy Turnbull then stood, naked and facing her colleagues. It was clear that the Melbourne mailgirls were in no way uniform in appearance like the Japanese or American ones. The local cohort ranged from the tall, lanky Annette Kellerman to the stocky and curvy Heather McKay.

Mitch called out Jackson's name last. There was a gasp of surprise. Mitch himself was curious about seeing her naked. Jackson had been standing near Mitch, where you would expect someone who had worked closely with him to be. But when her name was called, she went over to Wendy at the other side of the room to strip and then to the end of the line of naked mailgirls, furtherest from Mitch, so he had no option but to rubberneck to see her, which he wasn't going to do as he professionally made eye contact with the front row of colleagues who despite the distractions in front of them also were trying to appear professional.

Wendy took over as soon as Jackson had lined up with the others. "Mailgirls will be going down to the mezzanine now for final briefing, an inspection and the final testing of the pagers," she announced.

Mitch butted in there. "You will be able to summon the mailgirls for deliveries, let's say, from about midday." He looked over at Wendy Turnbull who nodded. "In that case the meeting is over. Enjoy the rest of your day."

And who knows, he thought, what is going to happen next.

***

After the excitement of the launch, Mitch sat at his desk, alone in his office trying to process that there were now six naked women on the mezzanine who would be naked throughout the working day somewhere in the building under his watch.

Shane burst in. "This is great day for the company, Mitch. Drink?"

"You think so," Mitch asked sullenly.

Shane was not going to be downbeat. "We did it," he exclaimed, "naked women in the office!" He looked closely at Mitch. "Does Mr Harada know?" he asked with a knowing smile.

Mitch conceded a reluctant smile to his deputy. "I was just going to tell me."

For once Mr Harada praised Mitch and told him that he would not regret it. Ever his own publicity machine, Mr Harada made sure that the press knew about the Melbourne mailgirl launch which meant that TV cameras and photographers descended on the office. Mitch's preparations however went well and no one got any footage of anyone without their clothes. A few workers from the office were chased by journalists trying to evade the cameras when they went out of the office at lunchtime. The only one who appeared on the news was a young guy with a ton of attitude who stopped, stared into the closest camera and stated "if there are any naked women in our office, I haven't seen them." That kept the excitement outside the office alive for only a day or so. Later in the week, a news crew would chase that same employee down Swanston Street shouting "have you seen any yet?" and only getting an enigmatic smile in response.

So that first day's excitement quickly died down outside the offices of Harada Industries. Inside the office it was a bit of a phony war. Mitch checked the app at three in the afternoon to find no one had thought to call out a mailgirl for a delivery yet. He emailed the news to Shane and was not surprised five minutes later to find a call had registered. Not surprisingly the call was logged to Mailgirl 1, the first on the list. Recalling that the Melbourne mailgirls were to be addressed by their names, Mitch wondered which mailgirl was on their way to pick up from Shane. He called the IT people downstairs and explained the issue to them.

After a refresh of the app with the numbers replaced by their names, Mitch saw that the order was Annette, Heather, Kimiko, Jan, Lauryn, and Jackson. So the lanky triathlete was the first to pick up and deliver solo in the building. Heather was beeped shortly after and so it began.

The next morning, Mitch arrived in the foyer to wonder why so many of his employees were gathered at the windows on the upper floors that looked down on the entrance area. He was in the lift before he remembered. Mailgirl preparation and presentation. It did cause a dilemma for him. Did he lead the charge and also watch what was happening on the mezzanine. Or did he stand back and discretely let the others perve and just not get involved until he had to. Getting out of the lift Mitch found the matter was resolved for him. The windows on his floor were crowded with employees craning to see what the mailgirls were up to. With no room for him, Mitch went straight to his office. Betty Cuthbert was at her desk engrossed in her computer screen.

"Good morning, Betty," Mitch called to her.

"Is it?" she muttered, not looking up. "Don't forget you have a nine o'clock with the audit and risk team." Mitch nodded his acknowledgement wondered how to deal with her. Could she ever accept the mailgirls?

At quarter to nine, Jan wandered past Betty who pointedly did not look up from her screen and knocked on Mitch's door. "Come in," he called out.

Jan strode in looking straight ahead, just past Mitch. He appreciated that she had a light sweat from climbing the stairs. She stopped a good way short of his desk.

"Everything okay?" Mitch asked her.

"Am I supposed to get down on my knees or something?" she asked.

"I don't think so," Mitch replied. "Unless you want to."

"Ah well, I'll stand then," she decided. She slouched where she stood, a naked woman with one leg a little bent in front of the other for balance, one hand on a thigh. "I have a message for you," she recited. "Mr Crawford wants to remind you there's a meeting at nine."

"Thanks Jan, it's pretty slow at the moment," Mitch observed.

"Well, we're getting paid," she responded without much enthusiasm.

"We'll have to learn how to keep you busy," Mitch promised.

"I hope so," Jan came back. "Otherwise I'm going to have to do repeat stair climbs on my own volition or something else to keep in trim. This was going to be training for me." Mitch shrugged and smiled at her. She stayed where she was.

"Am I supposed to stay here until I get another call?" Annette asked.

Mitch looked at her, sussing that she did not like to stay still for long. "You can stay or you can do your thing on the stairs," he urged and looked back down at his screen.

"Thanks," she smiled and turned around to exit. She stopped near his door and turned with a cough for attention.

"Yes?" asked Mitch looking up and getting the whole picture of a tall, nude blonde who was shapely and athletic. He could not help but be impressed by her and she noticed.

"Thanks for the opportunity," Jan said like she meant it. And she skipped out of the room, past a scowling Betty Cuthbert who glanced in at Mitch and wiped his smile right off his face.

It took to the end of the week before staff on all floors had found reasons to use the mailgirls. Mitch was surprised at the slow take up. As with the other programs, all staff had the right to use the mailgirls to deliver items within the office. But it was a change from not having mailgirls. Belinda kept Mitch informed that after the first day, on most days at least one of the mailgirls was absent for one legitimate reason or another, meaning that the four or five who turned up were kept pretty busy which must have allayed Jan's concerns. Although Belinda informed Mitch that all the absences were legitimate and tracking at the levels expected.

One thing was missing from Mitch's office experience during the early days. He had not seen Jackson, and it was Thursday. He had no chance to eyeball her at the launch. And he knew that he could watch the mailgirls preparing in the mornings which meant that he would be able to see her. But somehow he had not had the opportunity to do that. He could have used his admin privileges to call her to his office for a delivery. But he felt that was a bit gauche. And he felt the collective weight of the views of his wife, his daughters and the vehement presence of Betty Cuthbert, all looming over him. As if summoning a mailgirl was, for him at least, a moral failing.

But still the caveman inside Mitch wanted to see the attractive woman who had held intellectual sway over him during the planning stages naked in his presence. And an aspect of that caveman felt jealous of the other staff who had seen her while he had not. He felt somewhat proprietorial for first of all bringing her into the office and then for encouraging her to become part of the mailgirl program and therefore naked somewhere near him.

Mitch was pondering this as he took the stairs to the lunch room on the eighth floor from his office on level sixth when Jackson bounded down the stairs from a higher floor and almost barged into him.

"Hi Mitch," she sang out as she brushed past and through the door to the seventh floor. And like that Mitch had seen the naked Jackson and she seemed her usual sassy self, unselfconscious about her appearance, not fussed about being naked around him, and she was gone. And Mitch was left with only the memory of a flash of bare thigh.

***

Lauryn Mark strode towards Mitch's office. As she waltzed past Betty Cuthbert, the beligerent PA made a point of looking the other way. Mitch noticed that Lauryn was her typical self, all swaying breasts, as she approached him with an air of confidence. She swished into Mitch's office and planted herself on a seat facing him, arms on the rests and legs crossed. If she was smoking and clothed she would be Sharon Stone in Basic Instinct.

"What's wrong with her?" Lauryn demanded of Mitch.

He smiled. "Ah, Betty Cuthbert is still not comfortable with the mailgirls program. She just needs time."

Lauryn laughed. "How much time?"

Mitch smiled. "Another hundred years or so." He paused. "But having someone in the office with that attitude keeps the rest of us grounded. Don't forget, if you can, that this is an unusual environment. If you or I were to go out and go to work for another company it would be unlikely that they would have naked women wandering through the office."

"Too true. I may have to engage some of my other skills." She straightened her back to emphasise her bust. "But I guess you're not interested in these since you've got Jackson. Now, you wanted to see me to find out how I was getting on."

Mitch let that slide to concentrate on how Lauryn was handling the role. She assured him that she was fine and had no issues and was enjoying the reactions of the clothed staff. "The fabrics," she confided. Mitch mentioned how confident she had been in the interview and how she seemed to be self-assured whether she had clothes on or not.

"Well, I guess I can tell you now there was something that I didn't put on my CV," Lauryn smiled. Mitch looked at her enquiringly. "When I was at Uni, I worked as a topless waitress for a time." Mitch looked at her non-judgementally. She smiled broadly. "And sometimes the bottoms came off." Mitch gave her a puzzled look. "All right, I was a stripper."

"You haven't got cynical about men from it, have you?" Mitch asked her as she recrossed her legs.

Lauryn shook her head. "Only when they have too much to drink and get a bit ahead of themselves."

Mitch was quizzical again. That's not a phrase I've heard before."

Lauryn shrugged. "I think it's self explanatory. Be assured that I know how to look after myself."

Mitch shrugged. "It was good to talk to you," he concluded. "If we don't have any other reason to catch up beforehand, let's have another chat like this in a few months." Their talk had satisfied Mitch. He felt that maybe he was beginning to understand why these women had taken the path that they had.

***

Kimiko liked to try to see if she could be invisible. After six weeks, she reasoned that the office was getting used to having naked women wandering the floors or just being present, sitting still or kneeling at their waiting stations. And she suspected that as the quietest mailgirl of all she would make even less of a footprint in the minds of her colleagues. Her way of getting through the day. She checked her pager and saw that she called to visit her old section, where only just over a month before, she was diligent, quiet and clothed.