Whilst all this had been going on Jeremy had been sat watching with a mix of emotions from the soundproof booth he'd been bundled into by two burly stage hands as soon as Louise's knickers were down. Obviously he felt terrible that his good lady wife was being stripped, shaved an d publicly humiliated on a grand scale and he'd been banging on the glass red faced and shouting muffled protests. This display of outrage was betrayed however by the roaring erection clearly visible in his chinos.
Jeremy had often fantasised about Louise touching and being touched by another woman. He'd never shared these desires with her but had often imagined her being fondled by someone like Cheryl Cole or Kylie whilst having a sly Sunday afternoon wank in their bathroom. He had never though in his wildest dreams imagined that he'd see her being brought whimpering to the brink of orgasm by the sort of girls they always feared their daughter becoming friends with. Jeremy was aroused yes but also well aware that all of his colleagues at the office and the golf club would be watching this show. He saw the way they ogled his wife's plump bosom when they thought he wasn't looking.
And then, of course, there were those morons who drank in the village pub. "Rugger Buggers" Louise called them. Guzzling down pints of ale and singing those vulgar songs. Beer bellies and polo shirts and haircuts like convicts. What an absolute shower they were. And the way they leered every time he and Louise walked in for a glass of rose'. And this is exactly the sort of show that bunch of ruddy louts would be watching at home or worse still in the pub on the big screen shovelling pork scratchings and pickled eggs into their great faces whilst gawping at his wife's most intimate parts. What kind of show was this? He'd be writing a strongly worded letter to his MP about this that was for sure.
As these thoughts swam round his head Jeremy noticed that the three girls had left Louise and were advancing towards the booth. Before Jeremy knew what was happening he'd been pounced on by all three, surprisingly strong, women and dragged to the centre stage. As Chelsea and Leanne held his arms Stacey stood in front of him, hands on her hips and grinning like a Cheshire Cat.
"Right girls!" she declared "Let's get his things off!"
As Stacey began to undo his belt Jeremy tried to protest but all that came out were various unintelligible and indignant splutters. As soon as Stacey whipped his belt off, she opened his fly and pulled his trousers and pants down in one fell swoop. The girls squealed and cackled as Jeremy's erection sprang free. Stacey reached out and pushed his stiff cock down for a few seconds before releasing it so it sprang like a diving board to the riotous laughter of the audience. Jeremy was in quite the predicament. He was of course too much of a gentleman to try and free himself from the grip of these girls by force so he was essentially at their mercy.
As his shirt was unbuttoned and removed he saw Louise being helped out of the chair by the big stage hands and given a short black silk robe to cover whatever modesty she had left but rather than rushing to his rescue Louise was grinning from ear to ear and clapping her hands together. So, he supposed, she thought all this ghastly business was his fault did she? Typical he thought to himself, absolutely bloody typical. He was now stood naked as the day he was born being held by two girls with a third stood in front of him holding up Louise's discarded purple knickers.
"You're going to be a model for us." Stacey smirked grabbing Jeremy's leg and forcing the knickers over his feet and up his hairy legs.
Although Jeremy felt like shrivelling up in ignominy, his penis had other ideas; twitching and leaping as his wife's pants were pulled over his crotch the tip of his cock poking comically out of the top. Jeremy had barely time to begin blushing beet red before the two hulking shaven headed stage hands roughly grabbed him by the arms and dragged him over to the chair Louise had previously been sat in which they proceeded to manhandle him into forcing his legs into the stirrups and binding his arms to the chair with masking tape.
"Time for your makeover sir." one of the hands chuckled sardonically as Jeremy realised that he was again surrounded by Stacey, Leanne and Chelsea who was now holding a zebra print makeup bag in one hand and brandishing a makeup brush in the other.
"Hmmm." contemplated Chelsea "A bit of blusher first I think."
As the brush flicked over his burning cheeks and Chelsea leaned over him displaying her bountiful spray tanned cleavage mere inches from his face. Jeremy could see out of the corner of his eye that the two stage hands had sat either side of Louise who was giggling like a schoolgirl as one of them whispered something in her ear. This made Jeremy's heart sink but curiously his cock raised a couple more degrees upwards. After the blusher eyeliner, eye shadow and finally bright red lipstick were applied.
"Ta Da!" said Chelsea holding up a mirror so that Jeremy could see his face which was now painted like a cheap tart.
"Doesn't he look sexy?" cooed Leanne.
"What do you reckon Louise?" called Stacey to Jeremy's giggling wife who replied with a sarcastic "Cheryl Cole, eat your heart out."
The stage hands burst into rambunctious thigh slapping laughter either side of her. Now his wife was joining in with three tarts and two hired thugs in making a mockery of him. Surely, thought Jeremy to himself, it couldn't get any worse than this. Then, suddenly there was a whirring of machinery and Jeremy could hear rough male voices singing an oddly familiar song.
"Three German officers crossed the line, Taboo, Taboo...."
No sooner had Jeremy realised where he'd heard the song before, the back wall of the set began to turn round to reveal a large bath of soapy water in which sat six barrel chested beer bellied gentlemen singing and drinking from cans of beer. Jeremy recognised them in an instant. The Rugger Buggers. Those bloody pests from the pub. He'd wondered from the start why on earth he and Louise were invited on this show and now it was all becoming crystal bloody clear. They'd obviously been nominated by this assortment of hooray henrys. As the bath revolved into place the raucous bathers pointed at Jeremy as they serenaded him with
"Why was he born so beautiful? Why was he born at all? He's no bloody use to anyone he's no bloody use at all!"
This was followed by a deafening cheer and much splashing around and clanking together of beer cans. That was all these morons played the game for thought Jeremy. Wallowing in a big bath, belching and singing rude songs like a herd of uncouth beer swilling hippopotami. And Louise thought the same way didn't she? At least Jeremy thought she did. After all she coined the phrase Rugger Buggers and therefore must surely have held them in the same contempt he did.
However as had been becoming abundantly clear all evening, in many ways Jeremy didn't know his wife at all and the Rugger Bugger nickname had been borne not of dislike but of affection for a group of what Louise considered to be adorable rogues. She recognised all of the men in the bath. She didn't know their names though as Jeremy had taken against them ever since the first night they walked into the pub on the day they moved to the village, sneering at their tattoos and shaking his head at their prodigious beer consumption. They seemed nice enough to her though, holding doors open and suchlike but she couldn't help but notice that they were forever looking down her top as they performed this ostensibly chivalrous duty.
Initially she was quite intimidated by being ogled by burly cropped haired tattooed men but after a couple of glasses of wine she sometimes liked to make a point of walking past them and listening out for the whispered lewd comments about "jugs" and "melons" which inevitably followed. Once she had even dreamt that she was serving topless behind the bar of the pub, pulling pints whilst the men roared and groped at her boobs. It was a dream which she'd put down to having a late night snack of cheese and biscuits but deep down she had known that it indicated desires that Jeremy would have blown his top were he to hear of them
Louise barely had time to contemplate this further before she felt the stage hands grab her and pull her to her feet, her dressing gown was removed and she was scooped up like a baby by the larger of the two and carried towards the bath. Before all of this Louise would have put up a facade of panic or horror and called for Jeremy to come to her rescue but now with her inhibitions shed with her knickers she squealed and giggled in this strangers muscular arms eventually wrapping her own arms around his huge neck feeling herself start to gush between her thighs. As she neared the bath the splashing, hollering and singing built to a crescendo
"Celery, celery, celery... If she doesn't come I'll tickle her bum with a lump of celery, celery..."
Jeremy tried to sit up but the stirrups and the deceptive strength of the girls scuppered his efforts. Even if he had escaped their clutches though the odds of him being able to take on the two stage hands never mind an entire rugby team were pretty astronomical to say the least. A bitter pill to swallow though it was he had no choice but to sit helplessly in the pink chair, makeup on his face, his legs in stirrups and his erect cock poking out the top of his wife's knickers and watch Louise giggle as she was held over the bath and then dumped in with a squeal and a splash and a deafening roar from the Rugger Buggers. The Buggers immediately swarmed upon Louise; splashing her and playfully ducking her under the water until her hair was wet against her head and her makeup running, a giddy smile beaming across her face.
The biggest of the Buggers; a thick necked hairy chested man in his 40s with a formidable beer belly and arms like tree trunks grabbed the grinning Louise from behind and sat her on his lap facing away from him, grabbing a bar of soap in one of his massive hands and Louise's left breast in the other. He began furiously rubbing the soap into first the left and then the right boob until Louise's chest glistened with slippery suds. Louise knew precisely what was coming next. She'd done it for an old boyfriend after much persistence many years ago. A "soapy tit wank" that's what he'd called it. She could feel the big Bugger's erection pressing against the small of her back as he'd soaped up her boobs and without even seeing it she could tell it was double the size of Jeremy's.
This spectacle was more than enough for Jeremy. To paraphrase Popeye, he'd had all he could stand and he could stand no more.
"Unhand my wife this instant you hairy fucking oaf!" he roared in the direction of the bath.
"Oi!" interjected one of the stage hands pointing a large sausage like finger at the irate Jeremy "Moderate your language mate! What sort of a show do you think this is?"
The Buggers, Louise and the audience hooted with laughter.
"Calm down dear. I'm fine!" shouted Louise as the Buggers cheered.
