Losing My Shorts

My buddies and I decided to take a half-day to visit a local water park. Temperatures were rising and visiting Splash City during the weekend was out of the question if you didn't want to be in 2 hour lines just to ride something for 2 minutes, while being surrounded by screaming kids.

Little did we know most people seemed to have had the same idea. At least there weren't a lot of kids and the staff seemed to be more liberal with the alcohol policy so we were able to drink throughout most of the park.

When we got to one of the bigger rides, Pat came up with a dumb idea. He dared us to play the 'switcheroo' game as if any of us had heard about it before. Since the ride was a two-person tube ride, the game was basically trying to switch bathing suits with the other guy before you got to the bottom of the ride.

I laughed it off first but Ben and Wes seemed interested in the stupidity. They rationalized that most of the ride was in an enclosed tunnel, only like two sections that opened up for a brief minute.

Since it was Pat's idea and Wes seemed most interested, or drunk, we told them to do it first. We waited at the bottom for them to see their, hopeful, failure. The lines weren't too long so about 10 minutes later we saw them get into their tubes at the top. Ben and I couldn't see any of the exposed part of the ride from where we were but when they exited the slide on the raft I was shocked to see they had indeed made the switch.

"I almost didn't think I was going to make it!" Wes exclaimed.

"Ah, don't worry. No one would have been able to tell it was a penis anyway," Pat said with a jab to his side.

"Look who's talking tic tac."

They playfully argued for a minute and then convinced Ben and I that we had to do it. Although I was least enthused, the beer had gotten to me a bit and I'm pretty competitive. The fact that Wes and Pat were able to do it made it a clearer choice that I had to do it too.

Ben and I got to the top of the slide in about the same time and squatted onto our rafts at the top. "Ready to do this?" Ben asked.

The guy working the station convinced us it wasn't too scary, misunderstanding Ben's comment.

"No, but here we are."

We pushed off.

Instantly we tore at our shorts. I had untied mine prior but the velcro still got caught momentarily. Ben urged, "Come'on man! Give them to me!"

We got to the first exposed part and saw Ben, straddled on the tube in front of me, naked as the day he was born (but far more hair I hope). I couldn't help but notice his dick, which seemed average, but his balls were huge. When people say egg-sized I always thought they over exaggerated for the story or something but Ben actually had large, egg-sized balls.

"Dude! Shorts!"

I looked up and he was handing me his blue shorts while I was still getting my black ones off. Back into the darkness I finally got undressed and handed mine over. He passed his to me but we hit a sharp curve and I lost them out of my hands!

"Shit! I dropped them Ben!"

"What!?"

The next opening came and I saw he was shoving his junk into my shorts while I sat naked before him like an idiot, looking around for a pair of blue shorts, in a blue tube, surrounded by water. "Help me find them!"

As if he could. We reached around the tube as much as possible but found no luck. The light at the end of the tunnel made me realize just how bad this was. I was about to exit this slide into the general population, naked.

We splashed into the opening and the force made me lift my hands momentarily to grab the handles on the tube so I didn't fly out. It wasn't more than 2 seconds but anyone looking would have gotten a clear view of my junk on display, and by the cheers I'm sure they did.

I rolled off the tube and shielded myself under water. I tried to explain to the attendant how my trunks fell off but she had nothing to offer. My friends and I didn't have any towels, in the locker, nor cash to buy a new suit. The lady at least said I could borrow the tube to shield myself.

I had to make the long walk back to the lockers to grab my money, then to the gift shop to buy a new pair of trunks. It was horrible, but at least I had the inner tube. I mean, if you got right up to me you could look down and see my little guy but from a short distance I imagined it covered as much as a short pair of shorts would.

People could clearly tell my situation though, and I saw a bunch of people laughing, cheering, and some even taking pictures! Oh well, I thought, at least I have the tube.

When I finally got to the gift shop to buy a pair I explained the situation to the clerk. He thought it was a riot and apparently this had happened a couple times since he worked there.

"But at least the other times they had an opaque tube!"

"What do you mean?" I asked him.

"Oh shit. Sorry man, look in that mirror over there."

I turned, with my tube on, and blushed ten fold. The tube that lady lent me was opaque from the top, where I was looking, but the bottom 75% was a pale blue, translucent material. I saw an idiot holding a tube, with his dick and balls clearly visible (and maybe a little magnified) looking back at me.

I let out a little yelp. All those eyes. All those laughs. All those pictures!!

I bought the shorts and left. One of the worst days of my life.