In the very early 90s, I lived in a small, one room flat, on the 4th floor of an old brownstone building in the middle of the city of Wuerzburg, Germany.
An odd situation...an American living in subsidized housing in Germany. But I'd been there for nearly 15 years, had gotten divorced from my wife after leaving the military, and stayed on to be close to my daughter.
Anyway, as I said, my place was in a building in the middle of the city, tucked back on a side street about 100 yards from the city square.
Newly, single, I was in the habit of picking up girls at one of the local clubs in town. The benefit of living in the city as single guy...the clubs were not more than a few minutes' walk from my flat. I could get as drunk as I pleased and be home within a short time.
One summer night, I happened to encounter an American girl in one of the rock clubs that I hung out in. She was very attractive, and we drank and danced. Then we drank more and danced more, before finally making the move to my apartment.
We had sex...but that isn't the story. This story really begins the following morning.
At about 4 a.m. she woke me up. She was sitting on the edge of the bed, fully dressed, smoking a cigarette.
"Are you going to take me home now or what?" she asked, somewhat irritably. Her gravelly voice grated through my newly burgeoning hangover.
"Fuck me, what time is it?" I said groggily, pulling myself to a sitting position.
"It's time for you to take me home..." she stated again flatly.
As I struggled to come to the surface, fragments of the previous few hours flooded in...pictures of us fucking on the floor, the table, the bed, etc.
We'd both been so drunk that we could barely walk. Hell, I couldn't even remember her name at that moment.
Glancing at her I took a chance...and won. I saw that she was hot as hell, even sitting there hung over.
"I have to get to work," she said.
"Jeezus," I moaned, cradling my head, "at this time of morning? My head feels like it's going to implode..."
"That's your problem," she answered quickly, "last night you said you would take me home."
"Fuck." I moaned again.
I didn't remember saying that, but I didn't doubt it. Problem was that I had no car.
Slowly, I slipped off of the edge of the bed and pulled myself up, shakily at first. Still naked, I stood in front of her with a pounding hard-on at face-level. I'm always hard in when I wake up...even with a hangover.
I smiled weakly, hoping to entice her.
She stared blankly at my cock.
"I need to get home..." was all she said.
Padding naked across the bare floor, I entered the bathroom and lifted the toilet seat. A rush of relief washed over me as I urinated long and loud...wondering what to do.
Coming back out of the bathroom, I saw that she was standing, ready to go.
"C'mon dude, I gotta go!" she said, now impatient. Apparently she didn't remember my name either.
"Look," I said, "I don't have a car."
"WHAT!" she nearly screamed. She was pissed. I didn't blame her.
"Jeezus fuck me runnin'" she swore, loudly...then, "where's your phone, I need call someone."
I remained silent, as my cock subsided.
"Well?" she demanded again.
"I uh, I don't have one," I sort of stammered, embarrassed.
"Great, just great," she said to herself, digging through her purse. "I don't have any fucking change for the payphone."
Crossing the room, I snatched open a cabinet drawer, retrieved a handful of change and dropped it into her palm.
I felt bad about lying, and wanted to help her get home any way I could. I couldn't drive her after telling her I had a car...so giving her money for the payphone was all I could do.
"I'm really sorry," I said standing nude in front of her. I meant it.
Taking the money she shook her head in anger. I noticed again how pretty she was...long dark hair, large breasts and a knockout figure.
"Why are you sorry?" she spat sarcastically, "I'm the stupid one. Can you at least show me how to get out of here?"
"Of course," I said. I'd planned to shower after she left so I grabbed a towel from the bathroom and wrapped it around myself for the trip down to the main door of the building. It was only 4:30 in the morning and I knew nobody would be out yet.
That old brownstone was at least 60 years old at that time and had many twisting turns. We descended the four flights to the main corridor, turned left and arrived at the main door to the building which led out onto the street.
I opened the door for her and she stepped out onto the narrow sidewalk and into the still-dark, early morning.
"Well...bye I guess," I said, still wanting to be friendly.
She turned to go, then, stopped. Turning back to face me as I stood in the doorway, she frowned.
"What's wrong?" I said.
"I don't know my way around here," she said, "where's the nearest payphone?"
Holding the main door open with one hand, I leaned forwards in the doorway and pointed down the street. "There's a phone booth right around the corner down there," I said.
Suddenly, before I'd gotten all of my words out, she reached for the towel around my waist and jerked...pulling me off balance. I went forwards, onto the sidewalk. The door closed behind me and the towel came off.
Holding the towel she laughed.
I was stunned.
Just as suddenly, she turned and ran. Stopping a few yards away, she spun back in my direction. Holding the towel up in front of her, she shook it.
"FUCKWAD!" she yelled.
Then she turned again and took off around the corner, leaving me standing shocked and completely naked on the sidewalk.
I stood for a moment, dumfounded by what had just happened. Coming to my senses, I tried the door, knowing it would be useless. The door locked automatically.
My keys were four floors up inside my flat.
I was totally and completely nude, locked out, and had no way to get back in.
I thought about running after her and set off towards the corner about 20 yards ahead. But reaching the corner, I stopped.
She was probably too far gone by now, and besides, what was I going to do...walk through the city completely naked?
"Fuck!" I cursed aloud, pacing...frustrated.
It was summer, so it was warm enough outside. It was still dark out and the streets were empty, luckily, but I knew the sun would be coming up soon enough.
Leaning against the side of the building, I exhaled and tried to think about my situation.
The building that I lived in sat on a side street that ran between several tall building on both sides of it. All of the building had flats in the upper floors and shops on the first floors. All the shops on the street were still closed, naturally.
Glancing above me, I saw that lights in the apartments were out.
It was pretty quiet out, although I could hear the beginnings of the day in the city starting to bustle in the distance.
Right next door to the main door of my building was a translator school. It was as of yet closed, but I knew from experience that students began milling about on the sidewalk early in the morning.
Soon, the city would come to life, and I was naked with no way to get back in...that was the short of it.
Still, I tried to consider my options.
I could call my landlord...a sweet old lady who'd helped me get my flat. The payphone wasn't far away (cell phones weren't vary widespread then and I didn't have one), but I had no change for the payphone.
I could try to make my way across town to my ex-wife's place...but I dismissed that idea almost immediately. It was a good 4 or 5 miles across town and I would have to walk along the main roads which would be soon filled with traffic.
Without warning, I heard voices approaching, breaking me from my reverie. Two young women were making their way down the sidewalk towards me.
Panicking, I ran the rest of the way to the corner and turned it, nestling myself into an open spot between the building and a row of trash cans.
I listened as they approached, going on about something that happened at work. Hardly daring to breathe, I waited.
Finally, they passed, oblivious to the fact that there was a totally naked man not three feet from them.
The sounds of a truck reached my ears, and I crept out and peered around the corner towards my door, just in time to see a trash truck making its way down the street.
Scared to death, I bolted from between the trash cans and padded down the sidewalk, running towards the next corner, where the sidewalk opened up into the city square.
The sun was rising now and soon it would be light. The day was already beginning as a few people crossed the cobble-stoned city square. Standing there in the open, I was exposed, but there was nowhere to hide.
I was getting farther and farther from the safety of my flat and I had to find a way back.