This story is the sixteenth in a series. The prior stories will give context and character background. Hopefully, however, this story may be read enjoyably by itself.
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Having practiced for slightly in excess of 30 years, I am reasonably conversant with the concept of unintended consequences. However, I observed yet another application of the concept while Carla and I were in Federal Court in California.
Many of our clients, especially the nudist clients, are involved somehow in social media or e-commerce. As a result, they tend to become involved in a lot of intellectual property claims. Such was this case as our Midwestern client was accused of disseminating content in violation of a copyright. Apparently in the belief that we would be at disadvantage litigation two-thirds of the way across the country, the suit was filed in San Francisco by a law firm out of Orange County, California. The initial filing included a motion for temporary restraining order or preliminary injunction, which caused us to be scheduled for an evidentiary hearing in San Francisco on fairly short notice.
We had found our own California counsel through an informal network of nudist lawyers and filed the appropriate papers for Carla and I to be admitted pro hac in the Northern District of California. Upon getting notice of the hearing, we and the client were on a plane to the West Coast with our business suits in our carry-on hanging bags (you never want to lose your court clothes when traveling). Upon landing and meeting with our local counsel, we learned that our case had been rolled to a very new Federal judge about whom little was known.
There is something impressive yet somber about most Federal courtrooms, and the room we were in was no exception. It had the requisite high ceiling, dark wood paneling, and, of course, the bench to which everyone in the room had to look up. We rose on the bailiff's "hear ye, hear ye" as a seemingly attractive lady who appeared to be mid-forties walked out to the bench in her black robe then told us to take our seats.
As always, there were preliminary matters to be addressed between counsel and the Court. Carla was taking the lead role for us (I was relegated to bag carrier). The lead lawyer on the other side was a rather portly gentleman with a surprisingly high-pitched voice. It quickly became apparent that he was also something of a jerk.
As Carla and our opponent were arguing one last preliminary motion, opposing counsel made an effort to prejudice the judge. Apropos of nothing, our opponent told the judge, "Of course, Your Honor, my learned opponent is a practicing nudist." This provoked a slight raise of the judicial eyebrows but nothing else at the time.
Carla won that last motion and had walked back to our table to begin the hearing proper when Her Honor spoke again. "I don't know the practice where you come from, but, I like to make out of town counsel as comfortable as possible in my courtroom. Ms. ________, Mr. _____ tells me that you are a practicing nudist. If you would be more comfortable conducting the hearing in the nude, you are free to do so."
I was sure that I had only imagined that statement. Carla leaned over to me and whispered, "Did she just say that I can do the hearing nude?" The looks on our faces apparently conveyed our disbelief that we had actually heard what we had heard to the judge. She smiled and repeated herself, "Ms. _______, if you would prefer to conduct this hearing nude, you are free to disrobe."
Carla looked at me with a gleam in her eye and a bright smile. She slowly pulled off her suit jacket, folded it, and laid it on top of our litigation bags. Every eye in the courtroom was now fixed on her, and Carla knew it. She pulled the tail of her blouse out of her skirt, unbuttoned it slowly, and set it on top of her jacket. Carla stood for a moment in her bra, skirt, and heels. Then she reached behind her back and undid the clasps of her bra. Putting a hand on each cup, she shrugged her shoulders so that the bra slid off into her hands. She laid the bra on top of her blouse. Carla then reached down, undid a button at the side of her skirt, lowered a zipper, and let the skirt fall to her feet.
Having watched her dress in the hotel room earlier that morning, I knew that Carla wasn't wearing anything under her knee-length skirt. Carla stood naked in the courtroom but for her high heels, which she left on to wonderful effect. The smile on Carla's face told me that she was enjoying her opportunity to go naked in court immensely.
The other thing the reader needs to know, and that gives this story much of its significance is that Carla is an incredibly beautiful lady. She looks magnificent in one of her court suits or in a sweatshirt and jeans. Naked, she is absolutely stunning.
After her strip, Carla sat down in a chair at the end of our table closest to the witness stand. Lacking any towels, I had laid my handkerchief in the seat of her chair so that her bare ass wouldn't stick to the vinyl upholstery.
Still smiling, the Judge announced, "Mr. ___________, you may proceed." As the moving party, our opponents put their evidence on first. Opposing counsel was clearly discomfited by Carla's courtroom strip. After a few moments of silence, he composed himself enough to call his first witness, the COO of his client.
The chief operating officer was another 50-something male. Taking his seat on the witness stand, he had a clear view of Carla seated a few feet away. Usually, Carla sits at counsel table with one leg crossed over the other. For some reason, however, today she was sitting with both feet on the floor and her legs slightly spread.
As I said, Carla is an extremely beautiful lady. It soon became apparent that her bare beauty was distracting the other side's lead witness. He flubbed or forgot several of his prepared answers to his counsel's softball questions. Counsel seemed distracted too. I think he forgot to ask several of the questions they had rehearsed, or he decided that his witness was too distracted to give the correct answers. The direct examination was much shorter than I had expected.
Carla's cross-examination was a thing of beauty, separate and apart from her bare beauty as she walked naked around the well of the court asking her questions. The COO was clearly mesmerized by Carla's naked body and fell into the male trap of trying to ingratiate himself to a beautiful woman. By the time Carla had finished, she had elicited several admissions which would be damaging to the other side's ultimate case on the merits and some which should skewer their chances of getting a preliminary injunction.
The other side's second witness was a financial guy who was supposed to testify to the incalculable harm the plaintiff company was suffering from our client's alleged misuse of the plaintiff's material. He too was much more interested in staring at Carla's bare cunt than in listening to his counsel's questions and giving the desired answers. On cross, Carla adopted a friendly attitude. I think that the witness was flattered that a beautiful naked woman would be so nice to him. As a result, Carla got him to admit that, even under plaintiff's theory of the case, any damages were easily calculable and probably not that great.
Because the hearing had been scheduled as an "emergency" matter shoehorned into the Court's pre-existing docket, we were only scheduled for that morning. Plaintiff rested after calling the two witnesses whom Carla had pretty effectively turned. Carla called only the CEO of our client who was himself a nudist and, therefore, not put off stride by being questioned by a naked lady. Moreover, during much of the time we had spent with him preparing, all three of us had been nude. Our guy was used to Carla's beauty and, himself, did a beautiful job on the stand.
The hearing was over sooner than I or the Court had expected. The judge thanked us for "getting right to the point" and told us that she would announce her decision at 8:30 a.m. the following day, with an opinion to follow.
After court recessed, Carla was standing next to me getting dressed to go outside. She giggled and said, "That was so hot. I'm horny as hell." We gathered our bags, arranged to meet out local counsel early the following morning, and headed swiftly to our hotel about three or four blocks away. It was only about 11:30 on a California morning when Carla and I re-entered our room and both stripped off. We left the curtains open giving us a view of several tall buildings and a small corner of the Bay, had we looked. Instead, I ate Carla to one orgasm and then penetrated her to another. About 2:00 p.m., we left the hotel dressed more casually, headed towards the waterfront in search of some seafood.
We had a late lunch and played tourist in Downtown San Francisco. After a light dinner and a couple of glasses of wine, Carla and I went back to the room for some slower, more tender lovemaking. We were in the courtroom again, in our suits, at 8:30 the next morning.
After the formalities, the Judge told Carla, "I'd invite you to undress again, but I don't believe that we will be here long enough to warrant that effort." Then the Judge launched into her decision:
"As you know, to obtain a preliminary injunction, the movant has the burden to show the existence of four factors: (1) likelihood of success on the merits, (2) irreparable harm, (3) that the harm to the movant in the absence of an injunction exceeds any harm that the injunction will cause, and (4) that an injunction will serve the public interest. While the Court has serious doubt that plaintiff in this case will succeed on the merits, I do not need to address that issue. Rather, the Court finds that plaintiff has failed to show irreparable harm. As the testimony of the plaintiff's own witnesses yesterday shows, any harm to plaintiff that is proximately caused by the alleged unlawful conduct of the defendant can be readily quantified and redressed by an award of damages in the due course of law. Consequently, there is no reason for the Court to use its equitable power. The request for preliminary injunction is denied."
Of course, we were very gratified and our client was thrilled. Since neither Carla nor I like redeye flights, we had a whole day free. With the guidance of our local counsel and his partner, they, the client, Carla, and I had a wonderful day at a nude beach not far from the Golden Gate Bridge.
