This story is the ninth in a series. Hopefully, it can be read pleasurably as a stand-alone work. The previous installments give some context. This installment starts slowly but, hopefully, gets warm towards the end.
*****
Not long after Claire and Rick's bottomless party, Mala got another call from Claire. Mala called Sarah, Carla, and me into a conference room.
"Do you remember Erin, the red-headed server at Claire's party?" Mala asked. Sarah and Carla looked somewhat blank, but I nodded affirmatively. Erin was stunningly beautiful and pretty hard to forget.
"Well, she just got her Bachelor's in anthropology from _____ (Ivy League university). She doesn't really know what she wants to do now. Her parents are friends of Claire and Rick. Claire was 'hoping' we could find something for her to do here so she can make a bit of money."
Sarah made the first point that always came up when we talked about employees. "As an employee, we can't require her to work nude." And," Sarah went on, "with us working nude there is always the risk that she could set us up for a sexual harassment claim. That would make her some money."
Mala, always solicitous of her most valuable client, rejoined "I really don't think that Claire would be asking us to hire her if that was a risk. I gather that Claire and Rick are pretty close to her parents. I think Claire could put a halt to it if things went down that road. Also, remember that Claire controls about $ 2 million in annual billings for us. I really think that we need a better reason than a theoretical fear of a claim to refuse Claire's request."
Carla hit on the beginnings of a solution. "You know, many of the surrounding counties still don't have e-filing and don't have their records online. It is a real pain in the ass to have to get dressed to go make a filing or get a public record or go to the library. Couldn't we have her work clothed and use her for all of those little errands that we have to get dressed for now?"
As it seems is always the case, money, or the fear of losing it, won out and we agreed to invite Erin in for an interview, primarily to placate Claire. Talking to me, Carla was building a case for hiring her. "It will save us dressing and undressing multiple times a day. If I remember her correctly, she's very pretty so she might be good at witness interviews. If she just graduated from ______ she's probably a lot more tech savvy than any of us."
As always, the question arose of whether we conduct the interview nude or clothed. While there was a conceivable bit of risk legally, we decided that nude was better because that was how we work and what she'd see if we hired her. "Remember," I added, "she worked as a server at Claire's bottomless party wearing only an apron. I don't think she is going to be that clothes compulsive."
Erin arrived for the interview in a dark green dress that contrasted nicely with her rich red hair. The dress was business appropriate, barely. The hem was about mid-thigh and the dress clung to her body. Erin had a body that a lot of things, mostly male, would love to cling to.
Erin had brought copies of her resume, which we read quickly. Impressive was an understatement. Summa cum laude. Departmental honors. Published as an undergrad. State championships junior and senior years of high school in the 200 meter breaststroke. Besides that, she had spent a summer in college doing finish carpentry for a home-remodeler.
"My Dad was into carpentry as a hobby and taught me a lot when I was younger. I doubt that a job involving hard physical work is on my career path and thought that I needed some exposure to that," Erin explained.
All things considered, Erin made a powerful impression. Mala explained the job to her as we conceived of it. It was probably wishful thinking on my part, but I thought Erin looked disappointed when Mala explained that we would expect her to work clothed. Yet, Erin made no comment about that nor about the fact that her four interviewers, her potential employers, were all completely naked.
Finally, Sarah directly addressed the elephant in the room. "Erin, you understand that the four of us work naked? In fact, it is in our partnership agreement that we are required to be nude when we are in the office and any other time we're on firm business unless doing so is illegal or offensive to our clients. You also understand that Mala, Carla, Harry, and I live together? Sometimes, we are, uh, a bit familiar in how we touch each other."
Erin smiled. "I remember all of you from Claire's party. It is your shop and you are free to do as you please. You won't offend me. Now, I can't promise that I won't write a paper about this someday. I am an anthropologist after all, but I'll change the names."
To make a long story slightly shorter, we agreed to give Erin a tryout as a general purpose assistant at a salary and benefits guaranteed to make her parents, and Claire, happy. The decision turned out to be a good one. While Erin's office wardrobe was just this side of seductive (a positive in my estimation), her work was exemplary. She turned out to be extremely skilled at locating data on the Internet, from weather data to obscure articles by potential experts. Anything that wasn't strictly legal research Erin could do more quickly and more reliably than any of us.
Erin was also very good at document review. One bane of a litigator's existence is the vast volumes of paper, now more often electronic images of documents, generated by clients and opponents that might have some bearing on an issue in a case. Of course, one time honored tactic in litigation is to dump roomfuls of documents on your opponent in which the handful of meaningful material is buried. That way, you can truthfully say "we produced it" but there is a reasonable chance that your opponent will overlook it. As a very small firm, we were a frequent target of that tactic. Erin was quick to understand what mattered in cases and had an admirable attention to detail. Also, apparently, she never got bored. At the end of ten hours of reading the driest material, Erin was still reading as attentively as when she started. Embarrassingly, she repeatedly found meaningful things in documents which Sarah, Carla, or I had reviewed and missed.
Erin's hiring was also timely. Carla had just gotten a very involved trade secrets case from Marek. Sarah and I had gotten an exceedingly complex construction case.