Even at a nude law firm, ordinary life moves forward. I was confronted one morning by a very distressed Terry. Her daughter Mel, who was working for us that summer, had been accepted as an undergraduate at Yale and, obviously, wanted to go there. When Terry spoke to her ex-husband, Mel's father, about the cost of sending her to Yale, Terry's ex informed her that he'd contribute half of the tuition cost to send Mel to our largest in-state state university but not a dime more. Amy volunteered to read over Terry's divorce decree and shared-parenting agreement. They were ambiguous. Because Mel was now 18, her father had no longer had an independent legal duty to provide for her education.
Amy and I separately called lawyers whom we knew specializing in family law and independently received the same advice. There was no realistic chance that Terry's ex would be ordered to pay the higher cost of Yale rather than State U. That got the four of us (Amy, Mala, Sarah, me) thinking. After talking to a tax and employee benefits specialist, we concluded that we might get away with offering undergraduate tuition and housing cost as an employee benefit. The idea was for the firm to pay for Mel to go to Yale in a way that wouldn't have Terry owing vastly increased income tax. The catch was that, if IRS ever looked at it, eyebrows could be raised because (a) Mel was only an employee for a few months, and (b) Mel was the only employee who could use the benefit since Terry already had a B.A.
The next bit of real life was Sarah graduating from law school. Amy, Mala, and I finally met Sarah's parents and her sister at the graduation ceremony. After getting her diploma, Sarah went to lunch with her family and then to a party with her, now former, classmates. Amy, Mala, and I were sitting nude on my front porch about 9:00 p.m. that night when Sarah showed up. She quickly removed her clothes and joined us for a drink. Later, the four of us went inside to celebrate Sarah's graduation more intimately.
After graduation, Sarah basically vanished for about two months to prepare for the bar exam. She came back to work in mid-August and, at the end of September; we learned that she had passed. We had another small party, but we let Sarah spend her swearing-in at the state capital with her family.
Sarah got her license not a moment too soon in my opinion. I had been engaged to prosecute a substantial trade secrets case. A division head for one of our larger local companies had left along with the division's sales manager and its top technical person. Those three gentlemen moved to Tampa and set up a business in direct competition with their former employer. We also knew from the employer's computer logs that the sales manager had downloaded the employer's customer lists, account histories, and a variety of technical data an hour before he turned in his letter of resignation. Because the alleged theft occurred in our city, we were able to sue in our local federal court.
The Defendants were, obviously, well-financed. They engaged the largest of our local law firms; a very button-down-shirt and silk-stocking place whose litigators took pride in engaging in "Rambo" litigation. The case exceeded any other I ever handled in the number of motions filed and hearings held. In what I took as an attempt to embarrass my client, the defense lawyers took to referring to us in their court-filings as the "nudist lawyers" and "naked counsel."
Fortunately, the case was assigned to the chief judge of the district. After about the fourth set of filings replete with such references, the judge called a hearing at which every attorney working on the case was required to be present. At the hearing, she informed opposing counsel that our preferences regarding clothing had absolutely nothing to do with the case. In the event that references to "nudist lawyers" or the like appeared in any future filings, everyone working on the case at the defense firm, including secretaries and paralegals, would be required to appear in her court as a group and strip completely naked or be jailed for contempt. Opposing counsel switched to more traditional epithets like "liars" and "snake oil salesmen."
Nudity did become an issue in the case again. A lady who used to work for our client had retired and now lived in a clothing optional resort outside of Orlando. We knew from interviewing her that the defendants had tried to recruit her to their new company and had made a number of damaging admissions. Since we could not force her to appear in our court, we needed to take her deposition. She was perfectly happy to be deposed, provided that she and everyone else present in the deposition room was nude. We could have subpoenaed her to appear for a clothed deposition, but we expected favorable testimony from her and did not wish to antagonize her into a convenient loss of memory.
Finding a court reporter and videographer in Florida who were willing to work nude was surprisingly easy. However, opposing counsel blew a gasket. After another flurry of motions and responses, the chief judge ruled that opposing counsel could either be in the deposition room nude or participate in the deposition clothed by telephone. Being in a deposition by phone is not a satisfactory alternative for a lawyer, especially when the other side's lawyers are in the room with the witness.
Buoyed by the chief judge's ruling (which was, thankfully, not subject to an immediate appeal), we scheduled the deposition for a meeting room at the witness's resort. Shortly before Sarah and I left for Florida for the deposition, we were informed that a lawyer for the defendants would be present in person. We had scheduled the deposition for a Friday so that Sarah and I could stay over at the resort Saturday.
Sarah and I had also stayed at the resort Thursday night. Thus, we were able to go to the deposition room nude. We must have been an amusing sight, naked and pulling our wheeled litigation bags behind us. The reporter and videographer had just arrived and were undressing when a fairly tall blonde-haired lady in a business suit walked in. She appeared to be in her late twenties and introduced herself as an associate with the opposing firm. Her name was Carla. It was obvious that Carla was not thrilled to be there.
A moment later, the witness and her lawyer walked into the room, both nude. The witness's lawyer immediately began lecturing Carla about the ground rules for the deposition, i.e., that everyone had to be completely nude. I thought that Carla might cry, but, she resignedly acknowledged that she knew the rules and began to undress. As is true of most people, Carla looked much better nude than in the business suit.
As depositions tend to, this one went on all day. Sarah and I were quite pleased, however, with the testimony we were getting. We took a lunch break and, as the resort had a restaurant on premises, we did not have to dress to get lunch. Carla, who had finally given up trying to cover her breasts and pubes, ate by herself. Walking back from lunch with us, she asked the time of our flight back north. Sarah explained that we were staying over Saturday and flying back on Sunday.
"You could stay here and go back Sunday, too. There are seats on our flight," Sarah told the other lawyer. I think Sarah was just teasing.
We took a break again around 3:30 p.m. Carla spent much of the break on her cell phone. The deposition concluded around 5:30 p.m. As we were gathering up our papers, Sarah asked Carla what time her flight left.
Appearing somewhat embarrassed, Carla told Sarah, "I took your suggestion. I changed my flight. I'm staying here tomorrow. I decided that I'd never again have a good excuse to run around with no clothes on so, if I wanted to try it, this was the time."
Sarah responded, "you don't need an excuse to go naked. That it feels great is reason enough."
Sarah and I did get dressed to go to dinner off of the resort as I remembered a very good Italian place on a small lake north of Orlando. We got back late and went straight to our room. Consequently, we don't know what Carla did Friday night.
