My name is Carmen, though my correct title is Lady Carmen. The title is not through marriage but because my father is an Earl.
This is the story of how my downfall began.
During the long lonely School Holidays of my childhood, I was left to my own devices. I would explore the empty and dusty rooms of our vast house. I used to try and imagine the building in years gone by. I was obsessed with the intrigue of the house and the glamour of my ancestors and their servants.
I used to sit in the long-abandoned guest and servant's rooms, amongst the remains of the beds and imagine what their lives must have been like. I would invent fantasies of male visitors falling madly in love with the pretty maids and beautiful ladies being seduced on their wedding nights.
By the time of this story, all the empty rooms and corridors had gone.
Just before I started studying for A levels at my boarding school; the news came to be in one of mother's weekly letters. The House would become a hotel. As my parents had decided they could no longer bear to see their historic house rotting away.
The "Country House Hotel Company" would be taking over the building except for the West Wing. The part of the house where we'd always lived.
The hotel company would restore the grand rooms. The coach house was to become a sauna and pool, and they would take over half our stables for any guests who might want to bring their horses.
It was a shame that all the old rooms had gone. What would our ancestors have thought? What about the maid who had been whisked off her feet by a handsome officer, what would she have made of the army of workmen transforming the house? What about the beautiful Lady who, on her wedding night, had discovered her husband's sordid desires? What would she have thought of American tourists staying in her room?
But it had happened, the once ruined rooms, were no more, replaced with new plush modern spaces made to look historic.
The hotel looked good. Really good, better than I'd ever seen it.
x
I woke up, my first morning at home with a sore head; my parents had welcomed me home with a bottle of vintage champagne from our cellar.
It was a beautiful hot sunny morning, and there was a wonderful refreshing breeze coming through the window. Without leaving my bed, I leant forward and pulled back the curtains a little bit. That way I could watch the strangers coming and going into the Grand Entrance. Originally this entrance was only used for special occasions and distinguished visitors, it was even said that Queen Victoria had once used it, I don't remember ever having seen it used before.
I was naked, covered in only a thin sheet that smelt the way all hotel bedding seems to. I'd awoken aroused, it had been a whole month since my on-off boyfriend had last contacted me. He had no idea I was a Lady, I hadn't told him, in fact, I hadn't told anyone in Bristol University where I was studying. I'm sure he just thought I was one of many well-spoken girls that laughed like ladies and made love like whores.
He was hot though, and he liked me; he'd explained early on that he wasn't looking for commitment and I'd said that was ok. That had been a lie. I really liked him, and it hurt whenever he didn't call me.
By now I had given up any hope of hearing from him, and so my desires had no hope of release. Instead, they had been building up inside of me, getting stronger and less controllable.
My mind began wondering, I imagined it was a hundred and twenty years earlier. There would be a grand ball, perhaps my coming out ball, I was being introduced as a woman to Society and was no longer a girl. Later that day I would be laced into a tight corset and then poured into a beautiful gown, it would be a dark green to compliment my long red wavy hair.
The gown and bodice would push my breasts together giving the deception of a more considerable cleavage. It would be a daringly low cut dress. Too daring to be proper, my chest would appear enormous in it, pressed up together and pushed out as if offered as a gift. My parents would have been aghast when they saw me in it, but I would have convinced them to allow me to wear it.
I would be hopeful of meeting my future husband, a man so enthralled by my beauty that he would take me away to be his wife. No man would have touched me before, I would be a pure beauty, a virgin, the perfect bride.
Yet, I would be wild. As now, I would be lying in my bed, naked, not in a nightgown as a proper lady should. Only my maid would know about my nature, but I would know of her affair with her handsome officer. So we would keep each other secrets. She would not tell that I was a wanton whore who pleasured herself each night, and I would not tell that she was soon to be whisked away by her lover to lead a life of luxury.
I would be looking at the party preparations feeling the excitement building inside of me. Our coaches would be being going out to fetch guests, there would be gardeners ensuring the lawns were perfect, and maids would be polishing the stones and wood floors until they shone like glass. The whole house would be filled up by the smell of the banquet. It would all be for me.
Tonight would be my moment. My hand would slide between my legs, as I thought of the dress. The green gown would be so tight on my body. My red hair would be up, piled high on my head like a real Lady. My heels would be hidden under my dress, but they'd not be too high, I would not want to put off a potential suitor by being too tall.
I imagined that the corset would be tight, laced up tighter than ever before, perhaps so tight that I'd hardly be able to breathe. Maybe because of that, or maybe just because of anticipation of everyone's attention, underneath the skirts, I knew I would spend the night wet with excitement.
There was a thrill from knowing that everyone would see me as a beautiful innocent girl, but no one would guess at my true nature. No one would suspect that I, the innocent redhead was dark and twisted inside.
But what if my maid should walk in to begin to prepare me?
It would be such a scandal if one hundred and twenty years ago my maid were to walk in and catch me, her mistress, pleasuring herself in front of this window. That thought really turned me on. I imagined the horror I would feel at my maid catching me with my fingers deep between my legs. My fingers, glistening with my own juices, plunging in and out with my eyes closed in ecstasy.
I wondered how many fingers I would have inside, I'd be a virgin, but I'd be an expert at pleasuring myself.
I decided, as a Lady of a hundred and twenty years ago, I would have three fingers inside myself, and my thumb would be playing a dance on my clitoris. So I copied that thought
Back in reality, my fingers sank easily into my willing pussy as they had so many times before.
I don't remember if my pussy was ever neat and tidy. I'm sure my labia have always protruded either side of my entrance, but I'm equally sure that they were getting bigger. Was I ruining myself with my frequent masturbation? My on-off boyfriend had been surprised when he'd seen them. But maybe it was my labia that made me turned on all the time, could it be the reason I have a bad side?
I was just at the peak of climax when my fantasy changed, I imagined another person entering instead of my maid. Maybe the housekeeper or perhaps a guest looking for his room; a stranger who would step in and see me pleasuring myself with an open window in front of me. My reputation would be destroyed.
So much of my future would depend on having a good reputation, and here I would be risking it all just for a moment of pleasure. A good reputation would essential to get a good marriage without it I would be nothing. That risk would be driving me wild.
I would be just as much of a whore back then as I am now; was my final thought as I came.
My young body convulsed as my orgasm ripped through me. My head swayed from side to side fanning my red hair into a sheet of red.
It must have lasted for over a minute. A huge orgasm. During which my dripping wet pussy pulsated around my slippery fingers coating them with my cum. It just seemed to pour out of me, soaking my thighs and the bed beneath me. Further proof of what a dirty, depraved girl I was.
As if there was any doubt.
Even after it subsided, I was so sensitive between my legs that just the thought of touching myself again made me almost shiver. I'd just cum thinking about myself masturbating and being caught. I knew I should be ashamed of myself, but I wasn't.
X
I had a long, long, shower after that. Afterwards, I felt refreshed and reset, my bad side had been purged by orgasm. I made my way to the kitchen and ate a bowl of porridge and coffee alone.
Boredom has always been my Achilles' heel; I should have been starting my dissertation, that was the project for the summer and the reason why I wasn't helping my parents. However, it was my first day of holiday, the whole summer was ahead of me. What would it hurt if I started my work tomorrow?
I decided to take Patch, my horse, out for a ride.
The decision made, I bounced up the stairs to my room. I pulled open the drawer and found a new pair of black jodhpurs, complete with labels. I didn't remember buying them, but they were my size, so I tore off the tags and pulled them on. I put a light slip over my top and then added my school polo shirt.
I found my highly polished black riding boots at the bottom of my wardrobe, I pulled them out and with difficulty put them on.
Dressed and ready I walked out of our family wing and down the driveway towards the stables; I didn't look behind me but I thought perhaps there would be American guests eating their breakfast in the grand hall, they'd now be watching me, a real English Lady about to go for a ride.
They would have seen the posed picture of me in reception, it was in the display on the history of the house, our American visitors go crazy over that kind of thing. The picture had been of me, in a simple black skirt suit and a plain white blouse leaning on my father's desk. It made me look respectable, with not even a hint of my inner darkness.