KATHLEEN'S LOVERS CHAPTER FIVE: Jim
Did I get what I deserved with Fraser?
Maybe. It was unforgivable to do that with my best friend's boyfriend. I still feel ashamed today.
When I got home everything would be different... wouldn't it?
I arrived home, dreading the questions my Mother would ask about the week I'd just spent in Corfu.
"So Kathleen, how was your holiday?"
I thought for a moment.
"Hmm. Well Mum, I lost my virginity, quite painfully; on my first night to a lovely young man who dumped me the following day. Then I let a man almost as old as you cum all over my boobs, then he made me masturbate in front of him and then he fucked me with the most enormous cock you could imagine. Then I got into bed with a woman who licked his spunk off my tits and she made me cum too before sitting on my face and making me stick my tongue up her bum - until she came or peed (I'm not quite sure still) all over my face. Then I watched Jenny get fucked by her boyfriend and then I sneaked off and got fucked by him too."
Instead I opted for "Good; it was really hot!" and, in true English style, we talked about the weather for the next twenty minutes. Phew, I'd got away with it!
The last day on Corfu had been awful. Jenny had clung to Fraser until the moment our bus left for the airport and then she cried all the way back to Britain. I made a point of not catching his eye but I still felt so angry with myself for having sex with him the previous night. Why did I have to do that with him? Even if the sex had been enjoyable it still would have been wrong but it was terrible. I felt so... cheap.
'Never again' I told myself.
It would be 'never again' with Karen too; even if she was still very much our leader, right up to the last minute, getting free 'farewell' drinks at the hotel bar for us all. Then standing on a chair and getting the whole place to join in that song from the 'Sound of Music' that goes 'so long, farewell, auf weidersehen, goodnight...' (you had to be there). True to her word, she never made any more sexual advances to me but I still felt a flush of panic when I saw her and remembered what we had done in her bed.
Keith, the tall blonde Scots guy with the slight stammer, had awkwardly said goodbye. He'd been so nice to me and I felt terribly guilty as he tried to ask about keeping in touch. I smiled and said yes of course and even gave him a little peck on the cheek before getting on the bus.
Keith was on my mind as we flew home. He'd been the only decent man I'd met the whole time we'd been in Corfu. No lies from him. No pressure to have sex either. Why hadn't I just stayed around a nice guy like him? I'd have had none of the heartache with Darren or the deceit from Fraser ...or the shame of Karen. The more I thought about the holiday I began to regret the whole thing and I wished I was still virgin and had 'saved myself' for the man I would marry. By the time we landed I'd made my mind up: No sex ever again.....not until my Wedding night, not even with myself; definitely not.
My good intentions didn't last four hours.
As I lay in bed my mind went back to Corfu; dreaming about being tit-fucked by Cliff and before I went off to sleep I was fingering myself to orgasm, mumbling that I was a 'dirty girl.'
I reassured myself the next day that masturbation didn't count and that I would still be a good girl if I just avoided actual sex with a boy (...or girl).
Yes, that made much more sense. No sex with boys
By the time the Friday came a few of the girls had been in touch and not only had Jill given me a new hairstyle (I now had tumbling curls of red hair instead of the long, straight biker-chick look I'd had in Corfu) but had also been invited me along on their Saturday night out. This was to a Pub-Club called the 'Albert' (the club behind it was called the 'Victoria' β geddit?) where they regularly went and no boyfriends were allowed!
I had made a point of buying some new clothes as soon as I'd got paid to go to the nightclub in, as opposed to the awful old-fashioned outfits I'd taken on holiday. My Mother had not been impressed when she saw me as I was leaving, shaking her head at me dressed in heels and a tight peach mini-dress that not only showed off my curves but also gave the illusion of me having a real sun tan (it was more sun 'burn' than 'tan'). I went via Jill's, one of girls from the Salon who'd done my hair. She was in her early twenties, only about five foot tall and had raven black hair β she also had big boobs like mine and I remembered looking at them while she sunbathed: probably double-D's like mine but with much darker areola and nipples too (why am I always comparing my boobs with other girls?).
"Wow"" she exclaimed when I took off my coat and saw my new dress.
"VPL!" She laughed, before pointing to my very visible underwear lines. I looked in the mirror and agreed. She was right; it was another fashion disaster.
"Oh that's nothing." My friend laughed as she stroked my arm to reassure me, " Just pop into the bathroom and take your bra and knickers off, it'll look ten times better." She said.
Seeing me flinch she added "Good God Kathleen, don't worry about it. Loads of girls don't wear any undies if it's gonna spoil their clothes."
Unconvinced I tottered out of the bathroom a few minutes later feeling very self conscious, VPL βless and my knickers and bra in my handbag. It didn't help when Jill's Dad gave me a very noticeable 'double-take' as we left.
It was great to meet all the girls again, even though we'd only been apart for a week. They were just as much fun as they'd been on holiday and had lots of stories to tell and photos to show. Some had been in touch with the lads from Scotland and others hadn't heard from guys who'd promised to 'stay in touch' and were now calling them all the names under the sun.
Karen turned up late and immediately took control of the evening's events. After several rounds of drinks in the pub she negotiated us all into the Nightclub behind the Pub for and I almost forgot the night I'd spent in her bed as she brought guys flocking around us all.
Within minutes of getting in, Jill was being chatted up by a guy with absolutely dazzling blue eyes. I was stood alongside her as another guy came along and handed the blue-eyed fella a pint. They were friends and he introduced himself as Jim. He was very tall, way over six foot, with brown eyes and dark hair and soon the four of us were chatting away. They bought us drinks (and then more drinks) and I was enjoying myself so much I had to promise myself that this would be as far as any night out would go β no kissing, no snogging and absolutely no sex!
As we were chatting Karen called over to us asking whether we wanted a lift but Jill gave me a 'tell her NO'-stare and I told her we were 'okay thanks'.
"But how are we going to get home now?" I whispered to Jill, watching our ride home wave goodbye.
"With these two of course; you stupid cow! Vince is gorgeous... and he's got a car outside." She replied as he led her onto the dance floor.
Jim continued talking to me and as the second 'slowie' started, he asked me up for a dance. I felt a little anxious as we began to move to the music, his hands going around my waist. He held me pretty close and I wondered if he could feel my bra-less boobs squashed up against his body. He was a good-looking enough guy but I kept telling myself 'not tonight.' My hands were on his arms as we danced but almost without thinking they went around his shoulders and I snuggled my head into his chest. I looked over at Jill and Vince and they were kissing away on the dance floor, oblivious to everyone around them. Feeling the heat off Jim's body, I began to think where the night was leading to.
The lights came up and soon we were getting into Vince's car: Jill in the front and me and Jim in the back. Jill whispered something into Vince's ear and I saw him smile and nod before driving off. Jim sat close to me and put his arm around me. I didn't mind, it was only a cuddle after all, and feeling a bit tipsy I shuffled a little closer to him too. It was then I realised we weren't going back to our part of town. I went to say something but Jill quickly turned around and gave me a 'SHUT-UP' look, making me stop in mid-question.
'So where are we going?' I thought to myself.
Vince carried on driving for another five or so minutes before pulling into an industrial estate and parked up in an unlit corner far away from the road. He turned the engine off and there was silence.
Jill and Vince lent towards each other and immediately started kissing again.
Jim was next to me and I felt his hand on the outside of my uncovered thigh. He leaned towards me for a kiss.
All manner of thoughts raced through my mind.
"Do I want to do this? Shall I say no? If I do; what then? Jill will go mad won't she? Jim's quite good looking though isn't he? If he kissed me I don't suppose it'd be so bad and it'd only be a kiss. Its not like I've changed my mind is it? Okay then, just a kiss and then we'll all stop and drive home."