Innocence Exploring
Julia felt a little ashamed of herself. She didn't even know how to begin to understand where these feelings had begun to move her in to action. Or was it in reverse? Did her actions start and then the feelings followed? She wasn't sure at this point.
Growing up a typical Southern girl in Nashville, she had always been the a-typical sweet girl next door. She went to church with her parents. She was conservative in her dating practices. She never kissed a boy on the first date. Heck, she had hardly kissed many boys until she finally left home for college. And, whew, what different world that was...is. The college life.
Julia was an intelligent girl. She always made great grades in school and when she was ready to graduate high school, she made her applications to several different schools on the east coast and a few on the west coast. But when it came right down to it, when the offer came from the University of Southern California, the thought of being near Hollywood and all the excitement there was just way too appealing. She was going to be a lawyer one day. She knew that. But she wanted to have fun while she was young and, of course, get a good education at the same time.
In her freshman year she lived in the dorm on campus. Most freshmen did. She joined a sorority and soon found herself falling deep in to the typical life of a USC girl. Going to football games in the fall and there were parties every weekend. The dress codes at most of these events was short skirts and tight tops. It seemed that the skirts kept getting shorter and the tops kept getting tighter. It was exciting and fun, but it was all pretty much in innocence. Of course the boys loved it, but things never really seemed to go overboard.
She had, of course, met several boys, made out with a few and had only had sex with one...so far. She was after all, still a conservative southern girl.
But this, this was coming from some other place in her psyche. A place she had had very little time or interest in exploring. Until now.
It had happened once before, but only briefly. In this very same room under very similar circumstances, but more accidental than purposeful. That was a few days before. Now she had had time to think about it and actually came up with a plan.
For her sophomore year, she had convinced her father to allow her to move in to an apartment a short drive from Campus. She had promised that she would be working and able to pay for part of the rent. She and her best friend Jeni had found a nice and quiet place that would be great for better study habits. Especially away from the distractions of campus life.
Living in a secure building made her father feel more comfortable and living on the third floor gave Julia the view of down town LA she had desired. It also made her feel more comfortable to be able to leave windows open to enjoy the nice SoCal weather in the comfort of her own room. And that's where it happened, the first and the second time. Her exhibitionism.
The first time it was unintentional. She had walked in to her room right around dusk. She was headed to yoga class and wanted to change. Without thinking she simply walked in her room, removed her pants and top she had worn all day and walked from her closet to her dresser. She hadn't noticed that the blinds were still open. She didn't think that with it getting darker outside, with the light on and the blinds open, that pretty much anyone on the adjoining building's third floor, could see right in to her room and to see her standing there with just a bra and thongs on.
She reach down in to her drawer and grabbed Lulu Lemon yoga pants flapping them out of their fold and then putting them on. Right there in front of the open window. With her back to that window, she would have been bending over slightly, exposing her ass for a clear view of whoever might be out there. This thought, however, was not in her mind at that time. Not until after. She grabbed her top and started out of her room to finish getting ready in her bathroom. It was then that she looked back and with a bit of shock, noticed that the blinds were open and that she had possible just exposed her almost nude body to someone, anyone that had a good line of view in to her room.
When she first noticed, she had audibly drawn in a breath and she began to blush. She quickly hit the switch to the light and walked in to her bathroom. She looked in the mirror taking in the shocked look on her face. She instinctively held her top up, covering her breast as thought through what someone may have just voyeur-ed. She through the top on and tried to shrug off the thought. Perhaps no one saw a thing. Mostly likely, no one saw. "Oh well," she thought and quickly grabbed her keys and left the apartment. She wanted to get out fast, just so that "if" someone did see, that they didn't have enough time to catch her leaving in the garage. She didn't want to chance an encounter with someone that may have just seen her near nude.
Having made it to the car without seeing a single sole, she started up the engine of the Benz her father had bought her. Being a daddy's girl did have its perks. As she backed out of her parking spot, a man walked out of the stair well. He looked right at her and they made eye contact. Julia quickly looked away in fear that he might have been a beneficiary audience member of her accidental exhibition show. Once again she tried to shrug all of this off. Besides, when they made eye contact, there was nothing in the guys facial expression that was obvious to the notion of him having knowledge of what had just happened in her apartment. Nothing at all. She shrugged it off.
Since that occurrence, since that time, she had played it through in her mind a few hundred times. And when she thought of it, she had very conflicting feelings. Of course she was embarrassed in the thought that someone may have seen her in a thong and bra, but then, and this is what concerned her, when she thought of it, it excited her just a bit. What if someone had seen her, looked in to her private moment, and liked it. It was then that she realized for the first time in her life, consciously at least, that she wanted to be desired. She wanted to be exposed, viewed, and looked on with lust. And it was this thought that was shocking her to her core.
She had been to the beach and the pool many times, wearing bikinis that were every bit as exposing and flattering to her figure as the thong and bra she had had on that late afternoon. Yet, it had not given her thought in those settings. Of course there was the comparisons with the other girls and what they were wearing and of course the guys would be there too, looking at her, but not in her private space. In her room. No, this was different.