Its Not Easy Being Good

I have been in trouble my whole life. A lot of it had to do with drugs and partying. Which, I have left in the past. All except weed and alcohol! Most of it has to do with my sexual and fetish addictions. It may sound like fun and games. But, it has caused real trouble in my life. Not just with family, friends and relationships. It got me kicked out of school and almost arrested. And, it is an addiction I can't control! Even now that my future is on the line.

What started all this was being brought home by a cop almost a year ago. Unfortunately, and luckily, he knew my stepdad. I had been partying for a few days and hadn't had any sleep. I was hitting that delirious phase, but wasn't ready to give it up. I got dropped off at a friend's house, took some Xanax and started drinking. Needless to say! It didn't make my mental state any better. Long after sunset I finally ran out of steam and got tired. I tried to find a ride, but no one would give me one. I want to pass out in the comfort of my own bed and made a stupid choice and attempted to walk home.

On the way I passed by my old football team and started relieving this fantasy I used to have at games. It involved me bound and getting gangbanged by the football players while the whole stadium watched on. That triggered my stupid drugged up inner slut to come out and play. I decided to do something I always wanted and masturbate in the stands.

I tossed my bag over the fence and barely got my fucked up ass over after it. My shirt got hung and ripped it busting almost every button off down the front. My stupid ass didn't care! I pulled it off with my bra and tossed them. I made my way up into the middle of the stands. I took off my shoes and socks and tossed them down the bleachers! Followed by my shorts and panties! I put my feet up, spread my legs and started figuring and rubbing myself to my football team fantasy. Several orgasms later

While I'm sitting there relaxing I'm looking at the school logo in the center of the field and my anger takes over. I started thinking about all the trouble and everything I went through when they kicked me out. I grab my bag and head down with this idea of getting revenge by pissing in the middle of the field in the logo. But, on the way I have another idea. As soon as I hit the track that circled the field and decided to do a naked victory lap. Which, was most likely what got me caught. The field was fairly light up and exposed to the road on both sides past the safety stands. Because of the sleep deprived drunken shape I was in I didn't make it halfway around. But, I made it far enough to get honked at!

After my failed attempt at a victory lap I walked to the center of the field. I squatted and took a good long alcohol fueled piss right in the middle of the school logo. When I went to stand, I stumbled and fell on my ass! After a few minutes of hysterical laughter, I laid down and looked up at the stars. Being nude and in the center of the field got me to daydreaming of my longtime football stadium gangbang fantasy again. I'm sure you can guess what happened next! I closed my eyes and started imagining myself bound and being pounded by football players as the crowd cheered!

I had several orgasms and wasn't paying attention to my surroundings. That was until I noticed a bright light through my eyelids! Talk about surprise and fear! I open my eyes and blind by a flashlight. Then I heard a voice tell me to stand up, turn around and put my hands on my head. Instead, my stupid ass tried to run! Didn't get a few feet before I was tackled, pinned down and cuffed. To make things worse! That turned me on even more. Between that, being fucked up and the fear of being arrested. The whole walk to his car I'm flirting and propositioning him. Offer myself sexually! He did go for it and it only seemed to irritate him more. He got me in his car and I saw him talking to a security guard who I think recognized me from issues I had in school. They gather up my belongings and part ways.

I saw the cop going through my bag and instantly got scared. I had weed, pills and a little cocaine in it. Then he goes through my wallet and finds family photos. He opens the door, asks me my stepdad name and shuts it again. I see him looking through my phone and then use it to call someone. I thought I was going to jail.

To my unfortunate surprise! He takes me to my house where my stepdad is outside waiting. I hear them talking! As it turned out, they grew up together and used to be good friends. They parted ways some years back because both of them got busy living different lives. Then, he starts explaining to my stepdad what he picked me up for. My stepdad was pissed! I heard him tell him he was tired of my shit, and to just arrest me. The officer explained all the charges I was facing. From possession to public indecency! That I was looking at possible prison time and being listed as a sex offender! Thankfully, my stepdad finally agreed to take me.

Needless to say, when mom found out, shit hit the fan. Didn't matter that I was a legal adult and 22 years old. It was like I was a kid again! They took my car, phone and pretty much locked me down. They threatened to kick me out if I didn't listen to them. Even sent me to my grandmother's house for a few weeks to get me away from everyone I knew. That's when I was offered a deal I truly don't deserve! And, it's all because I'm the worthless one in the family.

My grandmother worked my ass off the few weeks I was with her. But, she also told me that if I got into rehab and got help for my sexual issues and proved I could behave. She would give me her place. She has been lonely since my Grandpa passed and is wanting to move to the coast with her sister. Because all my siblings and cousins are doing good and moving on with their lives she would like to give me a chance to do the same. The place is amazing and more than pays for itself. The house sits on several acres. There is a horse barn and rodeo area that isn't used anymore. There is a cattle and dairy barn too! After my grandpa passed she sold the animals and a lot of the land. But, she kept several acres around the house. Behind it is a garden and greenhouse. If I. Choose too I can bring in extra money by growing vegetables and selling at a couple of farmers markets. But, there are two other options that more than cover taxes and bills.

Just on the other side of a wooded area is another money making option. It is an RV park they set up for guests and business partners. They used to breed rodeo and show horses and they set it up for out of town visitors. It's about 30 acres and has several RV sites, a small barn, playground, laundry mate and a dog park. Since she sold the horses it is only used by a few old friends when passing through. But, it is going to be completely shut down soon because the older gentleman that runs it is wanting to move up north closer to his children. With some advertisement and touch ups, it could be opened to the public and bring quite a bit of extra money.

Just on the other side of that is the business that brings in the money for the taxes and bills. Plus, it would give me a decent allowance to live on. There is a large barn with several stalls. Because Grandma always live miniature horses and they are much easier to take care of. She kept some and still continues to breed and sell them. They only take up a small portion. The rest she rents to people to board their own horse.

In the back of the property there are also some dog kennels. One of Grandpa's hobbies was breeding and selling hunting and farm dogs. My Grandmother sold off most of them too! Now, she rents out the kennels for people wanting to breed and board their own dogs. There is a guy and his helper that pretty much run the place. They show up a couple of times a day to care for the animals and take care of customers. They get a small percent for it, and the rest goes into a bank account that covers my grandma's expenses. I won't have to do anything. Just oversee and repairs and upkeep needed. I will never have to worry again!

So, when I got home my parents helped me check into rehab. I spent a couple of weeks there. It was actually easier to get drugs in there than out! But, drugs wasn't my problem! It's my sexual addiction that cause me trouble inside.

When I got out of rehab, I went through Sex Addicts Anonymous and started attending groups once or twice a week. That didn't go well at all! I was the only female in the class. The rest was men! Most of which, had criminal backgrounds from there sexual issues. A few understandable ones. Others not so much! I basically became the class sex toys! I even found ways to sneak away for a few days to spend bound and at their mercy. Until that went bad! One guy in particular! He like to talk about the things he did in his passed while he uses me. Come to find out! He went back to prison because he was still doing those things. I felt horrified and ashamed! I quit groups and took a different route! I decided the only way to deal with my addiction was to take another job to keep me busy and tired! It helps!

Though, I spend all my free time playing with myself and my showerhead! Even on lunches and breaks! I have to stay away from men and not date, or I'm afraid I will slip back to my old self. That's part of the reason I came here. I probably shouldn't! But, it gives me a place to talk and flash the occasional naughty pic for a cheap thrill. Once I move out and get my grandmother's place! Well, I'm definitely letting out my sexual demon again. But, until then, I have to be good or I lose it all. And, I will be kicked out of my parents house.