It's Normal to Be Naed at a Party

"You think he's cute?" Chelsie nodded to the side.

"What?" Linda had been spacing out, "Who're you talking about?"

"Him." Chelsie lifted a finger off her drink, subtly pointing at a man across the room. "Dan, the guy from sales with th- No! Don't look straight at him!"

Linda was already looking obviously over her shoulder at the man in the gaudy Hawaiian shirt with various different fruit patterned on it. When he made eye-contact with the brunette, he raised an eyebrow and wiggled his mustache a bit.

"No way," Linda leaned back. "He's gay for sure."

"Oh come on." Chelsie was covering her face from the side, making it even more obvious she'd been staring, too. "Just because a guy's in a Hawaiian shirt doesn't mean he's gay."

"Yeah, but the mustache, the shoes, the hair, the way he always waves with his fingers in the mornings..."

"Fine, whatever." Chelsie rolled her eyes. "But you didn't answer the question. Is he cute?"

"Cute?" Linda looked back over, prompting Chelsie to grab her friend to stop her from staring again. "I dunno. Not really my type."

"I guess..." Chelsie looked back down at her drink, stirring it a bit with a tiny straw before glancing around the room once again at all the corny decorations the management had put up in the warehouse to make it look less depressing.

Linda sighed and watched her friend watch whatever she was watching. The girl's strawberry blonde curls had grown a bit disheveled over the course of that Friday by the humidity and the hectic workweek. Her makeup had worn a bit, though she always wore too much anyway. A bit of cleavage was poking out of top of her blouse, something that may have taken the concept of 'Casual Friday' a bit too far though from the secretary's desk up front it wasn't complained about much.

Linda by comparison felt much less 'sexy'. Her dark hair was in the same bun it had been in since she left the house this morning. Boringly-painted nails tapped on her half-empty drink as she considered getting another, though it was probably a bad idea to get too drunk in front of her coworkers. All she really wanted to do was go home and strip off the pencil skirt and tights she was suffocating in, as well as undoing more than just the top button of her blouse. Linda never really did 'Casual Friday's.

"Ugh, I wanna go home." Chelsie seemed to be reading Linda's mind. "But I hate being the first one to leave work parties."

"Andy gets super passive-aggressive when you do." Linda stabbed an ice-cube. "'Oh, you missed so much fun after you left! Someone told a silly joke or whatever!' Blah."

"Is this what you though your 30's would be like?" Chelsie sighed. "Sitting at work parties pretending to have fun and wishing you had been home by 10pm?"

"Don't forget the back pain." Linda groaned. "And your favorite drinks giving you a stomachache."

"Crow's feet in the mirror."

"Seeing your high school friends pumping out kids, while you're getting ghosted by dudes on dating apps."

"Did I mention back pain yet?" Chelsie stretched, pushing out her breasts. "Because I wanna mention it again."

Linda grumbled something under her breath. Her back hurt, but that was due to her posture. 'Gifted' women like Chelsie had back pain for a different reason.

"Did you say something?" Chelsie leaned forward, shoving the offending cleavage in Linda's face, a small hint of lacy red bra poking out. It felt like an intentional gesture, but Chelsie's face still looked innocent.

"No, I just-" The lights dimmed with a loud 'click' as feedback from a microphone cut out everybody's conversations.

"Wow! Sorry about that!" A voice rang out after the feedback cleared up. "This is everybody's favorite, number one regional manager, Mr. Andy. But you can all just call me Mr. Andy."

The captive audience wasn't sure whether to fake-laugh at the joke or if their manager had just misspoke.

Andy stepped out from behind the 'DJ booth' (really just a desk with a laptop connected to some Bluetooth speakers) holding a microphone and almost tripping over some wires as he attempted to stay in the circle made by the 'Spotlight' (which was Gus from the warehouse holding his hunting flashlight over his head).

"But we have a very special, very important guest who has graced us with his amazing talents and his amazing... Uhm." Andy's face scrunched up the way it always did when he had to think and speak at the same time. "Amazingly talented talents...

"Please give it up for - uh." The lights shined on a man in a tacky purple suit holding a briefcase with one hand and trying to keep the spotlight out of his eyes with the other.

"What was your name, again?" Andy handed over the microphone.

"It was- ah!" The man blinked a bit as Gus finally got the idea and stopped blinding their gaudily-dressed guest.

"It was the Magnificent Melvin! Marvelous Manipulator of the Mind!" He wiggled his fingers, not unlike Dan's little wave from before.

"Oh God," Linda put her head in her hands. "The boss hired a fucking hypnotist."

"What's wrong with a hypnotist?" Chelsie smiled, giggling a bit.

"It's childish!" Linda used the scattered applause following the man's introduction to cover her whispered conversation with her friend. "You really think some guy will wave his hands and say 'Hocus Pocus' and you'll think you're a bird or whatever?"

"It's just some stupid fun," Chelsie said. "It's not like you have to go up."

"You say that," Linda eyed her boss. "But you know how Andy is. He'll 'volunteer' you for something stupid and then act like you're not a team player if you don't go up there. Remember when he tried to host a 'Sing Along Night' and threatened to make anybody who didn't go on stage at some random karaoke bar work Saturday?"

"Those drunk frat bros refusing to leave the stage really saved us all that night."

The 'Magnificent Melvin' proceeded to walk about the party, going from table to table while focusing equally on pretending to 'read the aura of potentially attuned individuals' while also making sure the microphone cord wasn't getting tangled on any chair legs.

"Don't call on me. Don't call on me." Linda slumped down in her chair. "Ohmygod this is high school all over again."

But she was saved when some guy from the warehouse staggered over to the middle of the room where a few chairs had been laid out for the hypnotist to use. He seemed far too drunk for the amount of alcohol that would be served at an office party, but the warehouse guys usually smuggled their own flasks to these events.

"Ah, hello... My good sir!" Melvin was clearly not prepared for somebody to stagger out but tried to play it off. "What do you call yourself?"

"Joe," the man slurred.

"Very well, Joe." Melvin returned to the chairs, dragging the microphone cord with him. "Let us all thank Joe for volunteering to be entranced by my powers tonight!"

There was scattered applause from the room that annoyed Linda as she had to put down her drink to clap a few times too, hoping not to appear rude.

"Joe mama," the volunteer was slumped so much in his chair it looked like he was about to fall out of it. His hands clutched the sides though it wasn't as though his grip could be especially tight.

Melvin ignored the attempt at a quip and held out his hand, only to punch the microphone with a loud thump. He awkwardly adjusted his grip on the device before turning around and holding something up to the drunken man's face.

"Now, Joe," Melvin ignored some of the laughs, "You will focus on the light in my hand. Think of nothing but the light. Focus your energy on the- Joe?"

The man slumped over, nearly falling into the hypnotist.

"You," Melvin swallowed, "You will fall into a deep sleep!

"And you will awaken, er, at the end of this show!"

Melvin turned back to the audience to more scattered applause. Linda tapped a few fingers against her wrist, not even setting her glass down as she watched the other faces - each of which was about as enthusiastic as her. Her eyes made it to Andy, facing away from the center of the room as he was attempting to flirt with one of the girls from HR, completely oblivious to the ongoing performance.

"Now, I need another volunteer!" Melvin pointed out at the crowd, now mumbling among themselves as they decided their conversations would be much more interesting than the show.

"Over here!" Andy waved Melvin down with one hand, pointing at the girl he was flirting with with his other one.

She looked uncomfortable.

"Ah, well," Melvin sucked in some air through his teeth. "I'm not sure if her... Magical attunement is really proper at the moment. The mesmerization may not work on her."

"Oh, it'll be fine!" Andy placed a hand on the girl's butt, pushing her towards the center of the room. The girl glanced around as if saying 'Save me' with her eyes. Linda avoided her gaze.

"It's usually proper for the volunteers to, well, be volunteers themselves." Melvin clarified. "We like to have people be hypnotized because they want to be."

"She's fine," Andy laughed. "She'll volunteer. Come on!"

There was no helping it. When the boss wanted something he usually got it. Even if he was the only one who wanted it. Linda felt sorry for the poor girl from HR, though it would just be a bit of awkwardness before she could go back to her chair. Or preferably someone else's chair, further away from Andy.

"Andy isn't divorced yet, right?" Linda lowered her voice, leaning in closely to Chelsie.

"Not yet," whispered Chelsie. "But he's not wearing his wedding ring tonight."

"Gross." Linda looked over at the man, his eyes already down the dress of one of the other HR girls. "If that's how men get in their 50s then I'm glad I'm single."

"Oh come on," Chelsie shoved Linda's arm playfully. "There are good, older men."

"Yeah," Linda rolled her eyes. "And they're all married. The thing that sucks about dating in your 30s is that all the guys your age are single for a reason. Like they live with their parents. Or they're on their 7th year of a 4-year program. Or they're, y'know..."

Linda pointed at Dan, currently laughing with the guys and giving a limp-wristed 'Oh, stop it' gesture.

"You're too negative, Lin." Chelsie said. "You have one or two bad dates and suddenly you turn into a social recluse. It's just a matter of putting yourself out there, getting noticed by one of the good ones."

"So what's your secret?"

"Pardon?"

"For getting yourself noticed." Linda pointed at Chelsie's chest. "I assume those do most of the work for you."

"I- No!" Chelsie adjusted the front of her shirt. "I don't really get noticed by men."

"Bullshit." Linda lifted her drink to her mouth, then realized it was empty. "Men are ogling you at the front desk all the time."

"Yeah, but," Chelsie sighed. "They're not really noticing me, just staring involuntarily."

"Same thing, really."

"It is not."

"It is, so!" Linda got a few looks from the other tables, speaking louder than she had hoped. But Melvin was doing some sort of swimming motion at the front of the room and that had more people's attention than her outburst.

"Look, Chelsie," Linda sighed. "People are all about looks. We're very shallow creatures. First impressions mean far more than every other impression combined. It's all about 'Love at First Sight' and whenever somebody in a movie gets together with a person they've known it's only after she lets her hair down and unbuttons the top of her blouse!"

"You really think so?" Chelsie twiddled her thumbs.

"I know so." Linda groaned. "I need another drink."

The hypnotist and the HR girl were doing some dumb bit about her pretending to be a fish. She made awkward swimming motions as though she were dog paddling and then Melvin claimed he was a shark - trying to scare the girl. She just stared at him blankly.

Confident she wasn't going to be interrupting anything interesting, Linda walked over the to bar and started mixing whatever looked strong together.

"Shit." Linda sighed. "I yelled at Chelsie, didn't I?"

It wasn't right to take out her insecurities on her friend. Linda felt a pang of guilt as she finished filling her glass, then started to pour another one. She'd bring Chelsie something and they'd complain with each other - not at each other.

She carefully lifted the two tiny plastic cups and walked back to the table she was sharing. But the other chair was empty, just Chelsie's first drink sitting there, thoroughly stirred. Linda's yelling must have scared off her friend, probably in the bathroom at the moment wondering if she'd said something wrong.

But then, Linda found Chelsie. She was sitting on one of Melvin's chairs, eagerly smiling at the man as the office gave a bit of applause.

"Oh no," Linda set down both drinks, now wondering if she'd end up drinking both of them. "Girl, what are you doing?"

"Let's give a round of applause to Chelsia!" Melvin smiled, showing too much teeth. "She has volunteered to be my lovely assistant for this next trick!"

Linda clapped slowly, a pained expression on her face.

"So, Chelsia-"

"It's Chelsie."

"Er- So, Chelsie," Melvin knelt down in front of her, then realized his face was close to her cleavage and backed up a bit. "Do you want a change in your life?"

"Yes, I do."

"Do you want to achieve greater things?"

"Yes."

"Do you ever dream of floating through the air, like a bird?"

"Yes!"

"Oh my god," Linda slapped her forehead, "He's really going to say 'Hocus Pocus' and make her think she's a bird."

"Chelsia, I am going to let you experience your dreams." Melvin pulled out his light again. "You are going to look into this light and focus on nothing else. You will clear your head of all thoughts other than this light, and then you will think about your greatest dream."

Chelsie was facing the man's hand, her eyes unfocused, her body going limp. She then shut her eyes and let out a long, drawn out sigh.

"Okay, Chelsia," Melvin got her name wrong again. "When you open your eyes, you are going to be free like a bird. You will take off your shoes and then stand on that chair, flapping your wings majestically."

"Free," Chelsie exhaled the word. "I will be free."

"Now," Melvin snapped his fingers, "Open!"

She opened her eyes and blinked out the light. She then crossed one leg, flashing her panties to some of the people to the side as she began fiddling with her shoes. Linda couldn't make out most of what was going on, and she wasn't sure she actually cared to. Her gaze went back down to her drinks.

Chelsie stood up, her eyes still in their trance. Melvin stepped back and felt around behind him until his hand was on a small soundbox. He started fiddling with a few buttons, the microphone tucked neatly under one arm.

But nobody was watching Melvin, their eyes were on the busty girl standing on her chair. Chelsie's hands were running down the front of her blouse, undoing button after button until reaching the bottom where she swiftly moved on to pulling the garment off of her shoulders. Two torpedo breasts bounced forward as she let one arm out, then the second - her red bra barely able to contain them.

The room was silent in disbelief.

"What the hell!" Linda's voice was shaking. "What is she doing?"

Chelsie didn't stop there. She kept her arms behind her back fiddling with her bra a bit before undoing the hook and leaning forward a bit. In her tipsy state she nearly lost her balance, and that made the audience let out a sharp gasp. But she held firm and soon, Chelsie's huge breasts were freed from her clothes entirely.

The cheers caught Melvin's attention.

"Now, watch as Chelsia soars majestically throu- OH MY GOD!" Melvin dropped his box, which squawked like an eagle when it bounced twice.

He looked up at two breasts covered in red lines where the tight bra had just been pressing into them. Their size was probably made bigger from the low angle at which he was looking up. Chelsie's whole upper body was worthy of envy - her stomach was flat for a girl who sat at a desk all day.

"Chelsie!" Linda tried to call out to her friend. "Snap out of it!"

But her coworkers were shouting louder than she could. Chelsie's little striptease had suddenly woken up the sleepy crowd.

Chelsie's hands then went to her skirt, grabbing the zipper at her side and wiggling it loose before unceremoniously sliding it down her thigh. She pulled it down with a few sharp motions, taking her panties down a bit with them. A thin red bush peeked out the top - well-trimmed but still proving that the carpet matched the drapes.

"What the hell is she doing?" Linda felt herself growing pale. "Chelsie!"

But that shout was covered by a chant as the whole crowd began to cheer.

"TAKE IT OFF! TAKE IT OFF!"

Chelsie barely made them wait. As soon as she had stepped out of her skirt, Chelsie's hands went back up to her panties, a fancy red pair that gave an indication she didn't expect to go home alone tonight. They too were off in a second, and Chelsie stepped out of them, two bare feet lifting up as she kicked the garment aside. A few guys from the sales team practically fought over them, but the shorter (and less drunk) of the two won out.

And then, Chelsie was wearing nothing but a simple smile. She leapt off the chair and landed as gracefully as one could land when her breasts landed half a second later.

The drunken warehouse man (whose name was certainly not Joe Mama) woke up, took one look at the bare ass a few feet above his face, and let out a bizarre noise.

"Thatsh enuff for me tonite." He said before shutting his eyes again.

"Uhm, okay, uhm." Melvin ran up to the naked woman. "When I snap my fingers you will put your clothes on!"

He snapped. Chelsie ignored him, walking slowly forward to where she was seated before.

"Now!" Melvin snapped again. "Now! Now! Oh god, what's going on?"

He quickly fell out of view as the crowd converged around the naked woman, reaching out hands that she gently pushed away like she were shaking them. For a second, the woman was completely lost in a sea of men who were practically falling out of their seats to get a better look.

And then, Chelsie emerged from the crowd and walked slowly towards a frozen Linda.

"See?" Chelsie reached forward and took one of Linda's drinks, her bare breasts pressing against the table. "That was fun, right?"

"Uuuhhhhh..." Linda choked, her eyes on her friend's chest. "What the hell are you doing?"

"I know, right?" Chelsie took a sip. "I can't believe I was really up there like that!"

"You're still 'like that'." Linda pointed to her nude friend.

"This?" Chelsie looked down. "What do you mean?"

"I mean you just took your clothes off in front of the whole office!" Linda whispered harshly.

"Oh my god, right?" Chelsie giggled. "I can't believe I was walking around with all that, y'know, all that clothing on! That was super embarrassing."

"People are still looking!" Linda glanced around at all the faces gathered around their table, people not even trying to be subtle about where they were looking.

"Ooh, speaking of," Chelsie waved at somebody behind Linda, "Hey there, Dan!"

"Well, hello!" Dan gave his signature little wave. Linda rolled her eyes, thankful he was approaching from behind and couldn't see it.

"Hey there, Chelsie." Another man from Dan's entourage said, pulling up a chair near the naked woman.

Dan took the chair on Chelsie's other side, leaving the third man in their little group to look around for a while before dragging a fifth chair over from a vacant spot. He set it nearer to Chelsie than to Linda, meaning there were four chairs crammed on one half of the table and Linda alone on the other side. She couldn't help but groan.

"So, that hypnosis thing really works?" One man said. Linda didn't know his name. She thought it might have started with an I.