Dinner was mildly awkward, at first, but by the time their drinks arrived, Jen felt better. The restaurant was crowded, so the conversation focused on everything but the elephant in the room, as far as she was concerned. Despite the day's events, she liked Mickey and Kate. They were so naturally at ease and could make everyone around them feel comfortable. Soon her apprehension was gone and she had nearly forgotten her concerns.
It was Mickey who reminded her of them as they considered dessert. "Perhaps we could take something back to our place. After all, I think we need to talk and this isn't the place to do it."
Jen wondered if they really had to talk. Maybe it was best to just let things be.
"We could take our desserts with us," Kate suggested. "And the hot tub is the perfect place to relax and chat. Jen could wear one of her new suits!" she added playfully.
Jen was almost irritated by the remark. Those bikinis were a reminder of the very place where Kate's "indiscretion" happened. She wondered how she could be so casual about it. She heard Tim talking but she was lost in her own thoughts. Who were these people? Intelligent, charming, apparently successful, and... perverted. She wanted to run from them; to get away and to not see them again. But there was another part of her that wanted to know more. It was that part of her that got aroused in the dressing room, and had the nerve to put on such a blatant display in their hotel room that afternoon. She was confused, and afraid and irritated, and aroused, and curious all at the same time.
"Okay. 30 minutes then," she heard Tim saying. He stood behind her to pull out her chair. She rose silently, attempting an empty smile in Mickey and Kate's direction as her husband took her by the arm and gently guided her out of the restaurant.
"Are you alright?" he asked as they made their way back to their room. "You suddenly got very quiet."
"I don't know. I just can't... I don't know."
Tim slipped the key into the door of the room, opening it and allowing his wife to enter first.
She tried to bring some order to her wildly spinning thoughts. Images, emotions, and impulses confused her. They were all so contradictory. Finally, she spoke.
"This afternoon, after we had talked, I thought I could do this. But now I'm not so sure."
"Do what?"
"You know, pick up with Mickey and Kate as though nothing had happened. But I just can't stop thinking about what she did. What does that make her? And if he likes that, what does that make him?"
Tim had no answer.
"And if they're so eager to spend time with us, knowing what we know, doesn't that make you wonder about their intentions?
"Intentions?" Tim raised an eyebrow and smirked only a little when he continued, "Do you think they want to marry us?"
"Of course not. But I think they might like to do something with us."
Tim took her by the hand and led her to the edge of the bed. He pulled her close as he sat next to her and was silent for a long time.
"So what if they did?" He asked quietly.
"Tim!" Jen couldn't believe the question. "Do you expect me to..."
He cut her off quickly. "No. I don't expect you to do anything. I don't want to do anything. I'm asking how you would feel about somebody... I don't know... somebody thinking about you, like that. I mean, let's face it, those people who watched us today are going to be thinking about what they saw tonight. They're going to be thinking about you - like that."
Jen instinctively blushed at the thought. But at the same time, her heart raced and she felt that familiar twinge deep inside of her. She could still see their faces. She could almost feel the warmth of Tim's explosion on her cheek. The thought of them replaying the scene in their minds, imagining her on her knees sucking Tim for their pleasure... Her mind finally stopped racing. For their pleasure? Is that why she did it? Or was it for Tim. Or herself? Did it matter? Somehow it all seemed to roll together. The thought that they liked it aroused her even more. Somehow, in ways she couldn't fully grasp, their pleasure was hers, too.
"...and something about this afternoon makes me think so." Tim was still speaking, though she hadn't really heard him. "So, what do you think?"
It took a while, but she finally found the words. "I don't know, Tim. I don't know what I think. I know that I am confused by what I'm feeling."
He started to respond, but she stopped him. "Let me tell you what I do know. I like having men look at me. I'm sorry. I know I shouldn't, but I do. The men in the store. The man today. Even the couple. I know that I like the sex that we've had since we've gotten here. I don't know if it's the fact that we're not at home, or the way I've dressed, or the island, or the ocean, or what it is, but I like the way you've been and the way you've... you know. I mean, it's always good, but this has been something else. That's what I know."
"And the problem is that you feel guilty about that?" he asked gently.
"Partly. I mean, I'm your wife. People have seen me in ways that only you should. But, I don't know, in other ways, I really don't care. I wasn't doing it for them. What do you think?"
"Honestly? I'm not sure either. I'm not gonna lie, I loved what you did today. It was... hot, having people see us. I liked hearing about Mickey and Kate watching their neighbors. I liked the guy on the plane trying to get a peek."
He suddenly fell silent, staring past his feet on the floor.
"I need to tell you something else." He paused, never looking up. Jen waited silently until he continued. "The other day, on that little trail, we weren't alone."
Jen felt her heart stop. Then begin to race. "What do you mean?"
"The driver followed us. I didn't see him at first, but when we were... you know... I saw him in the trees."
"What did he see?" Jen's tone was alarmed but restrained.
"I'm not sure when he got there. But I think he pretty much saw everything."
Jen recalled his touch when they climbed back into the van. She could almost see him, now, staring back at her in his mirror. She could only imagine what he was thinking about as he looked at her during the drive. Had he thought about her since? Did she arouse him?
For a fleeting second, she thought about him masturbating as he remembered her. She forced that image away and looked into the nervous face of her husband.
