Inside the Garden Shed

Inside the Garden Shed

Maximilian Cummings

Chapter 5 - Vegetarian sex

Another day; another exciting call about coffee and cream from over the fence; another slightly nervous walk into the loke without clothes and another gentle push on Zoe's garden gate.

Gary ambled up Zoe's garden half expecting to see both she and Zara sitting there, preferably both naked, but it was just Zoe - though pleasingly naked. But what caught his eye and held it were two cereal bowls of strawberries - ripe, red strawberries with a dusting of icing sugar but not enrobed with cream. Was Zoe teasing him?

"Alone?"

Zoe caught the hint of disappointment. "Yes Tom's not here. Why were you hoping to catch him naked or watch us fuck?"

"I've said 'yes' to that before."

"What Tom naked? It's a fine sight especially when he is aroused."

"No, you fucking."

"You were really hoping Zara was here, all long legs and fair haired bush."

"No, very happy with the freckles and the dark, mysterious bush."

"Well, it will remain mysterious to you, though I might just show you a path through it if you promise not to follow the path yourself."

"All right then, I promise!" Gary followed Zoe into her house, followed her lovely little rounded bum. He would like to have forgotten to halt when she stopped and bumped into her, letting his already hardening cock press between her buttocks. But she would not be fooled that it was accidental and it might just spoil things. No touching was the rule. It was clear she got plenty of touching from Tom - and rightly so. Zoe and he were just friends, a platonic friendship with a bit of solo masturbation thrown in.

"Zara might well be here another day. She really loved watching you come the other day. Thought it a real hoot walking around the garden with you all naked and hard and then all naked and messed up. She likes you Gary. Thinks you are sweet."

"Sympathy for the old man with the little cock."

"Gary! Look just because it's short and stumpy doesn't make it a bad cock. Look at the plus points and I certainly do. It's attached, firmly, to a really nice man, it's ever so good looking - your cock not you! It's just so thick, has a wonderful knob to it - what a thing to say - and produces simply gallons of cum. Very manly. We both liked seeing it cum, Gary."

"It did rather!"

"And will it today?"

"I'll try my best!"

"Good-o."

Zoe poured the coffee. "You know, Gary, the other day you talked about dildos and vegetables and the like?"

"Yes?"

"I haven't really... before but I thought you might like to choose."

Zoe pointed at the vegetable rack and lying there was a whole range of vegetables - not cauliflowers or cabbages but those approximately phallic in shape.

"Been shopping Zoe?"

"Might have been."

Now he looked more closely at the vegetable rack it was obvious she had been shopping with a particular aim in mind. The vegetables chosen had been carefully selected. The small, long aubergine curved in a penile way and was all bulbous at one end, the carrots were thick with rounded ends, the courgettes curved just right and as for the cucumber, well it was long, thick, ridged and rounded. There were even asparagus spears looking decidedly penile.

"No parsnips?"

"I don't like parsnips!"

He laughed.

"Go on, you choose. What would you like to see me stick in there - apart from your cock of course, that's a no, no!"

"Not just the one?"

Carefully Gary selected and lined the vegetables up on the counter.

"Like you suggested for Zara, I thought you might like to build up to the aubergine."

"I only got that as a joke."

"Well, if you don't manage it you don't. I wouldn't want you to hurt yourself - even in the name of research."

"No!"

"Do they need dressing?"

"Huh?"

"Shall I pour oil over them to make them slippery? I assume you will not want the Balsamic Vinegar?"

"It would sting."

"I should think so."

"The oil might be a good idea with the larger ones. But I wasn't thinking of using so many - just the one."

Gary reached for the Extra Virgin Olive Oil, "So a carrot virgin?"

"And a cucumber. Everything."

Gary carried them out and laid them by Zoe's chair in order of size. His penis was standing.

"Shall I or will you?"

"It'd be touching."

"Not really."

"No, I suppose not."

Gary was hopeful.

Zoe settled herself in her chair and lifted her thighs over the arms, spreading herself as he had spread for Zara. The way through the dark mysterious bush becoming clear!

"I always feel so naughty and sexy exposing myself to you like this. Nothing hidden is there?"

"Nope! Though I could perhaps see a little further with a torch!"

She began to play, her fingers intimate. Gary stood watching. He could watch a woman playing with herself all day.

"I think, yes, maybe the asparagus."

"May I?" And he did. Clasping the end of the spear he brought it close to Zoe's pink and open sex, touched the curving bulbous end of the purple asparagus spear to Zoe's opening and pushed. Slowly but surely the spear began to disappear as Zoe hissed between her teeth and spread her legs just a little wider.

"Nice, like a finger."

"You can have a finger or two."

"No I can't, no touching!"

Gary began pushing and pulling the spear in and out of Zoe being careful not to touch with his fingers.

"Ooh. Good, good, good. Tom will like that for his supper."

"Time for the carrot?" It gleamed orange - freshly scrubbed and oiled.

"Yes!"

Gary was careful to slide the asparagus out so it slid right across Zoe's pretty little engorged clitoris, just peeking out from under its hood. She jumped.

"Just the asparagus!"

Despite its greater diameter there was no difficulty with the carrot. A little push and in it went. It was probably not as thick as Tom's cock. Gary pushed it a long way in, being careful to keep his fingers from the wet pink flesh - it would not do for his fingers to touch the labia minora or even major. He might get away with it and Zoe not notice but it was too risky. Gary did not want to be sent home with his cock between his legs.

It was not long before Zoe said, "Something bigger, Gary, something more filling."

Gary picked up the courgette, all green and shiny with oil, thick and a little stumpy like his cock – well actually quite a bit longer really. He had trimmed the flower end a little as he thought it might be scratchy. He had left the carrot inserted and for a moment he stared at the sight of the orange carrot sticking obscenely out of Zoe. He wished he had brought his camera but would Zoe let him? Would Zoe let him have intimate and decidedly strange photographs of her? With one hand he pulled on the carrot and out it came; with the other he held the courgette ready; one push and the domed end eased apart the vaginal opening and it too slipped in as easily as the carrot. Too easily because, being shorter, Gary suddenly realised it was nearly all in and he was in danger of touching Zoe. He pulled his fingers back as if they had been burnt and watched as the vaginal opening closed around the stalk. He could see it was there but, without touching her, he could not extract it.

"Er, Zoe..."

"Mmmm, yes."

"I've lost it. It's all inside."

Her fingers felt. "So it is!" Carefully she closed her thighs. "That feels different! I wonder if..."

She got up, carefully, and walked up the garden. Gary followed.

"Wow! I feel stuffed as if by a cock but I'm walking!"

Gary smiled. How many 58 year olds could boast walking around completely naked and erect with their mid thirties pretty neighbour, and know the neighbour was hiding a penis shaped vegetable inside her and knowing just who had put it there? Only one in all probability. He began to wank happily at the whole idea. Zoe stood there looking so erotic with a sheen of sweat across her large, freckled breasts, her dark hair hanging loose and her lovely body all soft and pink in the sunlight. She opened her legs, allowing light to flood between and under the dark vee of her pubic hair, reached casually 'down there' and obviously caught the stalk and pulled.

"Your courgette, sir!" She said handing it to him with a flourish - just as if it was a magic trick suddenly making something appear. Gary knew that the dressing was now not just oil but Zoe's lubrication as well. He licked up the side as if it was an ice lolly. He could taste her.

"Gary! Who said you could do that you naughty boy. I'm not sure that isn't touching."

Rather deliberately Gary slipped the end of the courgette into his mouth. It was even warm from her.

"A bit too close to sucking on a cock isn't it?"

"No!"

"Would you suck on Tom's dick if it had just come fresh from me?"

"I..."

"If I sucked you at the same time?"

"Well, I don't know but, yes, I might."

"And if Tom had just come and was still leaking..."

"I don't think so."

"But what if I said you could fuck me afterwards?"

A dilemma. "Shall I get the cucumber?"

"Might be a bit much."

"But we should try. No chance of it getting lost though!"

"I should hope not!"

Over a foot long, green and ridged. The cucumber did not so much look cool as menacing whilst Gary held it suggestively at the angle of an erection against himself. What would it be like having a cock like that? A cock more for show than practical use!

"Please sir, not your monster cock. I'm only a young little thing not used to real men - well, not real green men."

"Ha, ha! Said the evil Sir Jaspar. I shall have my wicked way with you. Lie back and think of England!"

Zoe lay back on her recliner and spread herself. Gary loomed over her. His penis at attention and the cucumber at attention. He knelt and brought the domed end of the cucumber into position. It was big: but so was Gary. He pushed. The cucumber was, in all reality, probably about the same thickness as his own cock only much, much longer and, of course, much greener!

"Ooh! I expect, Gary, that's like having you trying to effect an entrance with your thick cock. Fuck - that's big!"

But big or not it was going in, it really was; Zoe was stretching and widening and the domed end was nearly in; Gary rotated it a little to see if that might help.

"Gary! That's really strange!"

"But nice?"

"Oh yes!"

He kept twisting it round and the monster cock, or rather the cucumber slid inwards. It was lodged. Zoe had been stretched to its diameter.

"Shall I push it in further?"

"Oh yes, slowly." Her eyes were tight shut.

Gary slowly slid the cucumber forward with one hand and with the other he wanked. It was so sexy seeing his neighbour lying exposed like that as he fucked her with the cucumber.

"Crikey, Gary, that is big!"

"What are you thinking of Zoe. Being fucked by a very large man?"

"Might be"

"And is he dark, very dark?"

"Might be... fuck... how much have you pushed in me Gary?"

"About half."

"Keep going... oh, oh, stop!"

Gary made a little nail indentation in the cucumber. He'd measure it later - just to see. Zoe did not notice he had actually just touched her intimately.

"I'm so full, Gary! Gently fuck me with it, please."

Gary was very happy to; very happy to slide the cucumber out nice and slowly, watching the stretched pinkness caress it, before sliding it back in. Gradually he picked up pace enjoying the sucking, slurping sounds of well lubricated fucking. He had to be careful that his own wanking hand did not cause his cock to release its own lubrication. He did not think Zoe would be very pleased to suddenly feel a warm sticky shower splattering across her pubis, getting tangled in her curly hair and probably falling on and around the cucumber as well.

It was obvious Zoe was not far off coming. Should he risk it? Would it go in? He let the cucumber come all the way out.

"No, back in, put it back."

"It's time for the big, black aubergine, Zoe."

"No, no don't be silly it's too big!"

But already he had the shiny black and purple fruit touching her, pushing against her soft flesh, seeking ingress. How Gary wished Zoe would just say, "Forget the vegetables, just fuck me, Gary. Fill me up." But would he do it? She would regret it afterwards. It would be better if he said, 'No,' and carried on with the aubergine. He pushed.

"Gary... oh... too big..."

But it wasn't. A steady pressure and, all of a sudden, it was in. The bulbous head, so cock like, slipped in and Gary was left holding the narrower end. He began to pull it in and out, simulating intercourse. Zoe lay splayed out and moaning on the lounger, her fingers playing with her nipples. An absolute picture of wanton lust. What if Tom suddenly came home and found his wife splayed naked in the garden with his naked neighbour fucking her with a big shiny aubergine and his own cock clearly very nearly ready to shoot? It really did not bear thinking about!

Gary stared at the Zoe's pudenda as he pulled and pushed at the aubergine. Surely she would like him to touch her clit. He stopped wanking and reached for the asparagus. Gently with just its end he touched and Zoe went into a mad bucking spasm. Her buttocks pushed off the lounger raising her sex into the air as Gary worked her with the aubergine and her orgasm flowed through her body.

Gary slowed and stopped and looked down at his handiwork. Zoe's chubby little pink body was covered in a sheen of sweat, it was dripping down her sides and showing all sparkly in the sun across her dark pubic hair and between her thighs. Sticking out from her vagina was the dark purple aubergine.

It was some minutes before Zoe spoke.

"You touched me. You touched my clit."

"No I didn't, that was the asparagus."

"Really?"

"Really."

"Fuck, Gary, that was good. You are bad for me you know. I don't know, should I have let you do all that?"

"It wasn't touching."

"It wasn't fucking but it was fucking close to fucking!"

She sat up and looked down between her open thighs. "Fuck, Gary, how did you? I mean, I'm so stretched I won't even feel Tom tonight – he won't even touch the sides!"

She winced as she pulled the remarkably shiny aubergine out. "I'm not sure I can make Moussaka with that now."

"Well stuff it then!"

They laughed.

"Go on Gary, you have it. To remind you."

Gary smiled. He would enjoy his supper!

"Now Gary, what about you? Would you like me to fuck your bottom with a carrot?"

"Not really!"

"Serve you right when I get to the cucumber! How much really went in?"

Gary looked at the nick on its side, "Eight or nine inches actually."

"Never! That'd be up to here!"

"Yup."

"So what about you? If it is not to be the carrot - and I'm not sure you don't deserve it - I was thinking..." and her eyes went meaningfully to the bowls of strawberries.

"No!"

"Yes! You know you asked me the other day about Tom, you know, whether he had garnished my strawberries?"

"Er, yes."

"Well, I really didn't think I could ask him but the more I thought about it the more appealing the idea was. Sort of really naughty but probably rather nice. I like cum, I mean I like Tom's cum. All warm, slippery, salty down my throat. Didn't at first. It's like wine, well not really at all, but I mean an acquired taste. Salt on strawberries is perfectly normal so I thought, why not, a warm salty topping and of course you produce more than enough for two."

"But Zara's not here."

"I don't know if Zara likes strawberries and I'm sure she's never tasted... that was just imaginary; that bit about behind the bike sheds you know. She has not been sucking boys off however much that idea appeals to you... and Tom. No, the other bowl is for you of course! You do like strawberries don't you?"

It was not that Gary hadn't tasted cum - his own of course! What man does not, eventually, succumb to the question of what does his cum actually taste like, or indeed what does cum taste like, and try a finger dipped taste of his own? It was just the idea of eating so much and on strawberries to boot! But if he was to see Zoe do that?

"OK," he said.

"Would you like me to do anything whilst you get yourself ready?"

"I'd be happy to see you play with the vegetables."

"Not the aubergine again!"

It was ever so pleasant to watch Zoe playing with herself using the carrot whilst he wanked away.

It was not long before he was ready - even with a few pauses to prolong the pleasure.

"Are you ready, Gary, where do you want the bowls? On the table or shall I hold them."

The fruit lay red, juicy, shiny and unsuspecting as to what was to happen to them - not the traditional cool fresh cream skimmed from the milk of a cow but hot creamy cum, fresh from Gary.

"Best if you direct Zoe. I might not be too accurate."

"Naughty. That would be touching."

"Worth the try." He stood, his cock at attention. He eased it forward, holding it just behind the shiny head. "I think you'd better hold the bowls."

It was a sight and a half. Gary standing naked with an erection; Zoe standing facing him completely naked but holding two bowls of strawberries and Gary aiming his cock at them.

"Ready?" His fingers began to move. It was better coming lying down or seated but he had come standing before particularly, he remembered, standing hidden in some bushes when he had accidentally come across a couple fucking when he was out on a walk. Hidden partly by the sun which was directly behind him, he had watched this semi-naked couple doing the job. He had pretty much come as they had come. The girl going up and down on the boy cowgirl style with her boobs bouncing up and down and his cock appearing and disappearing as it went up and down inside her. His own cock poking through his fly had spattered the ground as his hand had moved furiously. Gary had been surprised they had not heard the pattering but they had been rather involved. He had crept away undetected and had even spoken to them later when he had met them on his walk. It had been funny talking to them about the countryside all the while knowing he had seen them fucking and knew what they looked like under their hiking clothes. It was a masturbatory fantasy for years afterwards. If only he had had a camera with him - but the click of the shutter would probably have given him away.

Back and forth his hand went on his stumpy cock. How much better if Zoe had been doing it; and, then with a groan, Gary began to come.

It is not easy aiming an ejaculating cock. It's not really something you think of doing in the throes of orgasm! If there is a tissue then it's been pre-placed. It's not good desperately trying to find one when you are about to ejaculate. Talk about a ruined orgasm!

Gary did quite well though. His first shot landed right on the strawberries in the left bowl, the second splashed accurately onto those in the right and on he went alternating between the bowls. Very little cum did not get in the bowls, very little got on Zoe's hands and only one spurt missed entirely and caught Zoe on her left breast. She looked down at it rather askance as it hung there on her nipple all pearly in the sunlight as it elongated and mostly dropped into the left bowl.

Gary was gasping with exertion and staring almost in disbelief at the cum covered strawberries; great dollops of cum covered them.

"I think this is the bigger bowl."

"No, no Zoe, your... er ... treat you have that one."

"It's got the most cream on as well..."

"No, really you have it."

"Well, eat up before your cum gets cold."

Gary literally stared open mouthed as Zoe dipped her spoon into her bowl and lifted a nice juicy strawberry with a real dollop of his cum on it, brought it to her mouth and popped it in.

"Mmm... it really works. Go on. The contrast of cool and warm really works."

There was nothing for it. Gary looked down at his cum covered bowl and tucked in. Zoe was right. There was nothing wrong with the dish. It was actually quite yummy - as strawberries are - if you got over the slight problem of what it was garnished with. At least it was his own cum. Had Zoe produced Tom and made him ejaculate all over the fruit Gary was not quite so sure he would have enjoyed them at all!