Nicole was a good girl, the kind who ate her vegetables, drank plenty of water, and exercised daily. A redhead with eager brown eyes, sharp nose, and a pretty smile, she stood an inch or two over five feet, and typically hid her respectable figure under plain jeans and loose fitting tops. She was to graduate with a Psychology degree in June, with a minor in Women's Peace Studies. She had originally planned to major in that program but changed her mind when she began to contemplate her employment options: her family wasn't rich. She had to be realistic.
But she loved the Women's program and most of her social life was based around it. She met her boyfriend Tym there. They had spent almost two years together before breaking up a couple months ago. Tym had been great in the beginning. He was an evolved man. He genuinely respected and cared about women. They had long talks about everything from fashion to the latest genders rights campaigns. He was warm and understanding, and a great snuggler. He even wore dresses once in a while, cause he said there was nothing to ashamed about in wearing women's clothes or in being transgendered (but he said he wasn't himself).
It didn't bother her at first that their sex life was somewhere between non-existent and weird. She believed people and relationships should not be defined by sex. Besides, she had her trusty vibrator when she needed it. It was just that Tym subscribed to the notion that penetration of a woman by a penis was rape, even if she wanted it. It was a popular belief amongst the students and faculty in the program. Nicole agreed with it at first, cause everyone else did, but she relaxed her viewpoint on it later. She believed penetration was not rape given there was 'strong mutual consent.' And, as an evolved person she had to be understanding of the fact that Tym was not usually able to give her strong consent. It was OK, because she loved him, and accepting his sexual identity was part of that.
Nicole was popular with the lesbians in the program. She once had a sexual encounter with a 200 pound woman with a lazy eye who called herself 'Scorpio'. Scorpio wore all black. She wore her hair in a mullet and didn't shave. Anything. In fact, Scorpio was not diligent on really any aspect of her hygiene. She actually found Scorpio physically repulsive, and felt guilt about it. She had a long talk with Tym about her feelings. Tym suggested that maybe she could have more compassion and sensitivity for Scorpio and people like her who faced image oppression by sleeping with her. Tym always was challenging her like that. That would have never occurred to her, she loved the idea, and him even more for having courage to speak his truth. Sometimes our preconceived boundaries were roadblocks to our deeper evolution. She had to overcome her repulsion to Scorpio, it wasn't fair.
It didn't quite go as she planned. Scorpio didn't understand the concept of 'strong mutual consent' in the same way that Nicole did. She asserted that as an 'image oppressed person' that she needed practice only 'mutual consent' with Nicole because Nicole was a 'non-image oppressed person.' She said she needed this to feel comfortable with Nicole and she could not consent otherwise. Nicole, determined at this point to have the experience, consented, but not strongly.
Scorpio didn't mean to be rough with her, but at twice Nicole's size it wasn't easy. Her meaty paws groped and prodded Nicole's body. Scorpio laying on top of her was a strange feeling, like being suffocated by a giant marshmallow. Scorpio got down to business fast. She stripped herself down and stood in front of Nicole. Nicole had never seen an obese woman naked and up close like that, especially such a hairy one. Tym was hairless. She dived for Nicole's pussy like a hungry hog into a bucket of slop. Tym sat watching, tied to a chair in a bra and panties ( at Scorpio's request, and Tym was more than happy to comply). Nicole didn't want to be alone with Scorpio, but Scorpio was not comfortable with Tym in the room presenting as any sort of 'oppressive male figure.' It was hard to see Tym as an 'oppressive male figure' or really a male figure at all, but in the name of SMC, they all went along. Nobody said taking down the patriarchy was going to be painless.
SMC was a complicated protocol. It was very popular with students. The Womyn's center in cooperation with the Women's Peace Studies program presented a day long workshop called 'Introduction to Strong Mutual Consent.' It took several books and other workshops to really master it. SMC required individual consent and re-consent between all physical contacts of that might be construed as sexual. For example, before you kissed someone you would have to ask them "Can I kiss you on the lips?" The person had to respond "Yes, you may kiss me on the lips", anything short of that was not strong consent. A simple "Yes" could be a passive no if the person had assertiveness challenges or wasn't sure they really wanted to do it.
Also, if you stopped kissing for more than a few moments you had to restart the request. It seemed awkward, but the instructors assured everyone that it could lead to wonderfully evolved, de-gendered, sexual encounters that not only provided pleasure to the participants but also made the world a better, more just place.
"May I touch your left breast"
"Yes you may touch my left breast, wait you didn't say which hand."
And so on. In fact many advanced practitioners of SMC said it moved them past the need for actual sexual contact at all, that the experience of radical equality was so powerful that they had gone beyond base sexuality into something more evolved.
Leaving Tym
Nicole had spent two years dating Tym. They did virtually everything together. Constantly talking and laughing, always willing to go on the other's adventures, encouraging and prodding each other to be their best selves. Nicole hadn't been a popular girl in high school. She wasn't an athlete or a cheerleader. She didn't run with the party crowd or the arty kids. She dressed plainly and tried to ignore the fact that she didn't have the best body by diving into her studies. She sought her attention from the teachers. She worked hard on her assignments to get their approval.
She didn't date in high school, and she didn't think of herself as a lesbian, but she had one long close relationship with a girlfriend during her junior and senior years. Sarah was a lot like Nicole, a smart girl, who got overlooked in the high school hierarchy. Sarah had brown hair, a round face, wore red plastic glasses with big frames and carried a few extra pounds on her. It wasn't a sexual relationship really. They were intimate though. The two of them would have long talks in bed. They would snuggle.
Once while snuggling Sarah looked Nicole in the eyes and said "I want to kiss you." Nicole playfully said "why don't you then?" And they laughed. And Sarah kissed her. They kissed and rolled around on the bed. It felt nice. It wasn't a big deal. Towards the end of senior year they'd make out, for fun, without a second thought. They didn't feel a need to define themselves as lesbians. She wondered sometimes if she was one, but Nicole was attracted to boys anyway, although the ones she wanted had no interest in her.
The best thing about Tym was his family. They loved Nicole. Tym and Nicole would visit for on weekends. It was up over the snow line, surrounded by lots of open space and pine trees. A quick drive to the ski areas. Tym's mom Cindy doted on Nicole. She bought her season ski passes. She sent her birthday and Christmas gifts. She joked about Nicole being her daughter-in-law one day.
"We'd make a great team, you and me," she'd say to Nicole sometimes.
Nicole liked Tym's mom too. She was fun to talk to in the same way that Tym was, always had interesting ideas, and could chat for hours about family, TV shows, really anything. Nicole would sleep in Tym's bedroom when she was there and Tym would make himself a cozy nest on the couch.
Tym's dad Eric was nice too. He was nothing like Tym at all though. He worked for the ski areas his entire life doing everything from running lifts and ski patrol, when he was younger. He eventually worked his way into the top layer of management. He was an avid outdoorsman, at least until the hip surgery slowed him down. Sometimes she'd catch him looking at her. He'd just smile and say something inappropriate like
"Tym, when you going to bring home one like that for your dad?"
"Yeah, over my dead body," Cindy would jokingly respond.
Tym would cringe with shame. Nicole was mildly offended, but also found it amusing. Eric was like a museum piece she thought, a relic from an older, less evolved state of gender relations. She wondered if he ever thought of her in a sexual way. The way he would run her over with his eyes... But she thought he might be teasing her too. She didn't think she was pretty, so the attention was unusual to her. Once Eric invited her to hot tub with him on their deck while Tym and his mother were out shopping. She wasn't sure how he meant it, but she politely declined.
Tym's sexuality was interesting. He was dedicated to SMC, having attended all levels of the training seminars and now even working towards getting a trainer certification. Despite the Tym's training, and Nicole had done some too, SMC was still difficult to enjoy. For Tym this meant that he had just not mastered it yet and that he should try harder. Tym did not believe in ethical penetrative sex between a man and woman. For various esoteric and philosophical reasons involving the twelve thousand years of male oppression against women it was no longer possible for a woman to give true consent to phallic penetration.
The relationship only became sexual when they had been drinking. They practiced SMC touching.
"I would like to touch your left thigh, is that OK?"
"Yes, it's OK to touch my left thigh."
"It's so soft. Ohh. Is it OK if I keep touching your left thigh?"
"Yes," she said, starting to get a bit exasperated.
"Yes what?" annoyed by her sloppy attitude towards SMC.
"Right, yes it's OK if you keep touching my right thigh."
"You mean left thigh, right... this doesn't work if you don't pay attention."
"I am paying attention."
"Well good because I can't do this alone... oh fuck this."
Most SMC sessions ended in anger and frustration. Occasionally they would manage to get to non-penetrative alternate intercourse, which was just as good as penetrative intercourse if you understood how to do it right, and also made the world a better, more egalitarian place. Tym would put his penis between Nicole's legs and pump in and out.
"May I continue to rub my penis between your legs?" "
"Yes you may continue to rub your penis between my legs."
"May I continue..."
"Yes you may..."
"This feels so great to have loving erotic relations with you. May I continue..." said Tym.
"Yes you may..."
