I knew I could trust Amanda not to screw up! Amanda is a big bossy girl, a Mighty White Gaia, but all in sexy proportions—long legs heavy but shapely, shoulders suitable for suspension of breathtakingly majestic mountains of breasts, a full face but with generous eyes, lips, cheeks in proportion—and simply cascades of chestnut brown hair. Sometimes we run together evenings and I know no one is going to bother me. That began to seem important after my near-rape and miraculous salvation in Central Park. Much less problem out here in the Hamptons, of course, but Amanda inspires me. If she can carry 200 pounds barreling up and down hills, past endless golf courses, and through beach sand, I can haul my lazy 115 pounds—well, maybe 110—beside her.
Just got to wonder what's in it for Amanda. She does like girls more than I do. Occasionally, she will impishly slip into the shower with me after a run. She will murmur: "Could I get a little tit-on-tit massage? Mine are so stiff they feel as though they'll fall right off." I give her a little, from time to time, her ridiculously meaty pink-orange crinkled nipples enveloping my soapy wet tits. She seems to like it. Once or twice on a special occasion, I sat beside her on the bed, holding my glass of cold Chardonnay, doing her clit with the Hitachi vibrator. I never saw a cannoli like hers, with the thick, swollen pink tube and the butting head straining out like a slimy lima bean. Whew, can she come!
Then, a couple of weeks ago, before we've even gotten our wind after a run to the Maidstone Golf Club and back on Friday evening, and I am thinking only about a cold Chardonnay at Rowdy Hall, she is hauling off her massively overworked, jumbo sports bra to reveal pink blimps, and saying. "It isn't that you can't find a guy you like, you're just jaded. Really jaded."
"What do you mean, jaded?"
"Well, 'jaded' means..."
"I know what 'jaded' means. What do you mean?"
"I mean no guy seems sexy enough to you because no guy possibly could live up to your kinky, peak-lust, psycho imagination."
As I am formulating my reply, she says, "Spartacus Slave Girl."
That's a story I published about my earliest virginal fantasies before I had any real sex. You can read it. A slave girl from a tribe conquered by Rome is pegged out naked and violated by an entire Roman legion. Finally, she dies. I got off on that fantasy hundreds of times because I was such a hot, totally naïve pussy I could not imagine enough sex, enough fucking, enough stiff dicks to satisfy me. Very mean to refer to it as 'psycho,' Amanda, dear. No buzz for you, for a while.
Amanda says, with some rather disturbing mind-reading, "And you still can't get enough crazy arousal and non-stop teasing..."
I hate arguments where I only can argue. I like to bring to bear what are called "fire-hose fuck" arguments. Nothing left of your opponent. Here, I'm momentarily stuck.
"Come here, I'll show you something you've never seen."
"I've seen everything." Ellen, that's frankly idiotic.
We are both nude, not quite dry, in the dim late afternoon light through Amanda's windows, two down-hanging pairs of tits—of very different dimensions—dangling in front of the computer screen.
Amanda declares: "It is horrifying, barbaric, unthinkable-and, also, blasphemous, irreligious, disrespectful..."
After 15 minutes, I am nodding agreement, staring down fascinated at yet another brief video, one of a seemingly endless variety of crucifixion scenes. Nice young girls with great healthy bodies and pretty faces, smiling, attached to a crude cross, hoisted skyward, to where the "crucifixion dance" begins: the naked woman's ceaseless, agitated, agonized twisting in her bondage, out-thrusting her breasts in desperate relief of her wrists, her long torso twisting and squirming, and then the sweat-wet cunt thoughtlessly thrust again and again at viewer to escape the awful weight of pain on the feet... and the face twisted as though in sexual passion, but actually gasping for breath through the stretched muscles of the chest, muscles that haul the tits high, wide apart...and so it goes on, the sweat gathering on the white skin of the chest, drops of sweat slicking the twisted pink-orange nipples...
I couldn't stop staring. Utter, awful exposure of each naked inch of the woman's body, exposure in a daze of agony that excluded all the initial mortification, the pretty faces almost blank as though drawn long with passion...now unaware of the increasingly arousing display below...aware only of the trigger points of pain in every joint...
"Want to be up there and see what it's like?"
Goddamn it. If there is one certain thing in my psyche it is that when I am exposed to an idea that fascinates me with its sheer bizarre impact on the viewer, I am not going to let it go. I will try...
I must have been nodding, in a daze, staring at that mesmerizing girl flesh, even the inner-most labia twisting as the hips writhe and the pubis is thrust forward ever-searching to relieve the agony.
Okay, here we go!
Just lean back, loosen your belt, stick your hand down, and watch the action on the big screen. Plenty dark, in here, no one is going to see the prairie dog burrowing own in your pants or panties, respectfully.