I knew I could trust Amanda not to screw up! Amanda is a big bossy girl, a Mighty White Gaia, but all in sexy proportions—long legs heavy but shapely, shoulders suitable for suspension of breathtakingly majestic mountains of breasts, a full face but with generous eyes, lips, cheeks in proportion—and simply cascades of chestnut brown hair. Sometimes we run together evenings and I know no one is going to bother me. That began to seem important after my near-rape and miraculous salvation in Central Park. Much less problem out here in the Hamptons, of course, but Amanda inspires me. If she can carry 200 pounds barreling up and down hills, past endless golf courses, and through beach sand, I can haul my lazy 115 pounds—well, maybe 110—beside her.
Just got to wonder what's in it for Amanda. She does like girls more than I do. Occasionally, she will impishly slip into the shower with me after a run. She will murmur: "Could I get a little tit-on-tit massage? Mine are so stiff they feel as though they'll fall right off." I give her a little, from time to time, her ridiculously meaty pink-orange crinkled nipples enveloping my soapy wet tits. She seems to like it. Once or twice on a special occasion, I sat beside her on the bed, holding my glass of cold Chardonnay, doing her clit with the Hitachi vibrator. I never saw a cannoli like hers, with the thick, swollen pink tube and the butting head straining out like a slimy lima bean. Whew, can she come!
Then, a couple of weeks ago, before we've even gotten our wind after a run to the Maidstone Golf Club and back on Friday evening, and I am thinking only about a cold Chardonnay at Rowdy Hall, she is hauling off her massively overworked, jumbo sports bra to reveal pink blimps, and saying. "It isn't that you can't find a guy you like, you're just jaded. Really jaded."
"What do you mean, jaded?"
"Well, 'jaded' means..."
"I know what 'jaded' means. What do you mean?"
"I mean no guy seems sexy enough to you because no guy possibly could live up to your kinky, peak-lust, psycho imagination."
As I am formulating my reply, she says, "Spartacus Slave Girl."
That's a story I published about my earliest virginal fantasies before I had any real sex. You can read it. A slave girl from a tribe conquered by Rome is pegged out naked and violated by an entire Roman legion. Finally, she dies. I got off on that fantasy hundreds of times because I was such a hot, totally naïve pussy I could not imagine enough sex, enough fucking, enough stiff dicks to satisfy me. Very mean to refer to it as 'psycho,' Amanda, dear. No buzz for you, for a while.
Amanda says, with some rather disturbing mind-reading, "And you still can't get enough crazy arousal and non-stop teasing..."
I hate arguments where I only can argue. I like to bring to bear what are called "fire-hose fuck" arguments. Nothing left of your opponent. Here, I'm momentarily stuck.
"Come here, I'll show you something you've never seen."
"I've seen everything." Ellen, that's frankly idiotic.
We are both nude, not quite dry, in the dim late afternoon light through Amanda's windows, two down-hanging pairs of tits—of very different dimensions—dangling in front of the computer screen.
Amanda declares: "It is horrifying, barbaric, unthinkable-and, also, blasphemous, irreligious, disrespectful..."
After 15 minutes, I am nodding agreement, staring down fascinated at yet another brief video, one of a seemingly endless variety of crucifixion scenes. Nice young girls with great healthy bodies and pretty faces, smiling, attached to a crude cross, hoisted skyward, to where the "crucifixion dance" begins: the naked woman's ceaseless, agitated, agonized twisting in her bondage, out-thrusting her breasts in desperate relief of her wrists, her long torso twisting and squirming, and then the sweat-wet cunt thoughtlessly thrust again and again at viewer to escape the awful weight of pain on the feet... and the face twisted as though in sexual passion, but actually gasping for breath through the stretched muscles of the chest, muscles that haul the tits high, wide apart...and so it goes on, the sweat gathering on the white skin of the chest, drops of sweat slicking the twisted pink-orange nipples...
I couldn't stop staring. Utter, awful exposure of each naked inch of the woman's body, exposure in a daze of agony that excluded all the initial mortification, the pretty faces almost blank as though drawn long with passion...now unaware of the increasingly arousing display below...aware only of the trigger points of pain in every joint...
"Want to be up there and see what it's like?"
Goddamn it. If there is one certain thing in my psyche it is that when I am exposed to an idea that fascinates me with its sheer bizarre impact on the viewer, I am not going to let it go. I will try...
I must have been nodding, in a daze, staring at that mesmerizing girl flesh, even the inner-most labia twisting as the hips writhe and the pubis is thrust forward ever-searching to relieve the agony.
Okay, here we go!
Just lean back, loosen your belt, stick your hand down, and watch the action on the big screen. Plenty dark, in here, no one is going to see the prairie dog burrowing own in your pants or panties, respectfully.
The scene opens...
The young woman is dressed in a rough brown robe that falls to her ankles. A cloth belt is cinched tight at her small waist. The big women on either side of her, with crushing grips on her upper arms, wear the garb of their religion, faces ovals framed in crimping cowls. The young woman walks rapidly, on her own; she will not be dragged; her small pretty feet with the mauve toenail polish are able to keep up. Only occasionally she stumbles on a root, a bruising stone, because her wrists are tied behind her back, under the robe, her feet are bare, and the path is littered with last autumn's dry leaves.
Suddenly, her guards jerk her to a halt.
Oh, my, what a pretty place to be crucified. In such good taste! A stretch of light-green sea oats, a farther rim of grey-white sandy beach, and then low, lapping bay waves of uncertain whitish green. This seascape is dotted with solitary evergreens and peopled by an occasional gesticulating grey skeleton of a weather-stripped tree. It is dry, but not desolate; the birds—flitting, skimming, soaring—seem to know that.
"Nice place, Amanda!" says the captive turning with a smile to the taller and decidedly bustier guard on her left. "It's crazy, though, Amanda! This looks just like the place my dad used to take my brothers and me for picnics and fishing. Absolutely deserted, miles from anywhere."
"Still is," says Amanda. "Told you it would be private. But you know, you're supposed to shut up. By now, you should be whimpering in terror. Do you have any idea what we're going to do to you, Ellen? You think this is a picnic?"
With that, the two guards abruptly almost lift their slender captive off the ground, dragging her forward, so that now the determined small feet are leaving a double-dragged trail in the soft sand. Where in hell is this cross, anyway? If it's on the beach, where every passing cabin cruiser, clamming boat, and cigarette mega-speed launch can see her writhing naked...
Okay, no. They are steering their steps into an indentation in the oak and sassafras woods, a clearing still by heavy sunlight, but sheltered from most of the bay. Nice going, a view of the bay looking out, but with privacy!
Ellen! The brutal, degraded Roman crowd is murmuring impatiently, jostling and cursing for a better view, laughing in anticipation of what is to come. They are waiting to watch you tied stark naked to the cross, your body writhing in its bondage, to see you pushing out first your wrenched-apart black-haired cunt, then shoving forward your pulled apart, uplifted, heaving tits with sweat-dripping nipples. Let's get to the moaning and that look of agonized passion on your pretty, lean face, your eyes rolling skyward in supplication as though fucked by Pain himself.
By now, the slender, cloak-shrouded young woman is entering the recessed sunlit clearing. Bright white sand for several yards, then forest on three sides, and, through a brief opening at the front, a long view on the diamond-glittering green bay. Can't over-emphasize the aesthetic aspect of the experience.
"Oh, no, Amanda! No! Not what we agreed! What the fuck are they doing, here?"