My lips quivered at the idea of speaking out loud, that saying anything would rationalise the cold hard truth. I sat there in silence, watching the green recording light blink, it added gravity to the situation and reminded me that time was running out.
'Captains log, this is Joan Atomic reporting from the Crimson Liner. I am in command of this vessel, the one thousand officers on board and we are returning from a six-year expedition to the outer rim. The first and foremost problem has risen, the food synthesiser system has malfunctioned, and we are still one-thousand five-hundred and twelve days from reaching Earth. I have a team of highly trained engineers that should have been able to diffuse the situation quickly, but they have come to me with an alarming issue that cannot be overlooked.'
I took a deep breath; the captain was supposed to remain calm, and it was only a recording after all. If the events that followed went south than I would not have to live with the lifetime of embarrassment that loomed on the horizon.
'The food synthesiser stores organic matter in the wing of the ship, the long tube runs the length of the wing and has swollen up due to a pressure supply issue. An engineer would be able to fix this problem by crawling through a narrow vent beside the tube, but the access has been comprised. Now the pressure control panel is malfunctioning, and someone must access the second hatch to investigate.'
I got up and roughed up the tangled mess of strawberry blonde curls on my head. I was crazy if I thought reporting this would help the situation, but I was out of options. The procrastination would never end unless I told the captains log everything, that was my process and I had to follow it through.
'There is a temporary access hatch that was used in the manufacturing process of the Crimson Liner's wing, and it is the only way to access the pressure control panel. The hatch was never meant to be used during space travel but still has the capacity to be opened from outer space where necessary. Alas the real problems begin; the hatch is too small to pass through while wearing an astronaut suit and this also rules out the use of a conventional oxygen tank. There is however an experimental astro gel suit onboard, it is only a small to medium fit and it rules out the larger members of the crew. The suit does not regulate oxygen, so the user must be able to regulate their own breath, unless they have mandatory captain surgery and have the cybernetic respiratory implants. There is only one person on board who can save everyone and that is the woman sitting in front of you.'
I did the unthinkable and signed off. That meant I was done, that I was ready to face the challenging tasks that came with being captain and report to the engineering bay.
I did not want to say it out loud, but everyone knows you must be naked to wear the astro gel suit, a suit that is made of a see-through compound. The whole system is an artificial symbiote, it is filled with microscopic nodes and fibres that synergise with the human bodies electrical current. If there is any foreign matter between the astro gel and the human body, it stresses out and blows up into a bubble. If the suit blows up into a bubble, then I cannot do the job and it might rupture in the confined space. I also must be accompanied by a drone that provides a live video feed to the engineering team so they can tell me exactly what needs to be done.
The engineering team looked at me, waiting expectantly for an answer I wasn't ready to give, I had returned to their information debrief but I was not sure if I had the determination to follow through. They had prepared the lifeline; it was filled with electrical wires, and it was double coated in the astro gel. The team waited for me to decide it was the only option, I had hoped that one of our new alien crew members may not need to breathe but that did not seem to be the case. I pinched my nose shut, it was an exercise to pressurise my sinus and after a moment of holding my breath, I felt my cybernetic lungs begin to oxygenate my system. The ship captain was supposed to use this ability in the event of an emergency and save their crew from a breach in the oxygen supply. That would have been a much easier protocol to deal with, pressing one button while everyone choked around me, but life was not being that kind to me.
'The last problem is hair; it confuses the nodes just as much as clothing fibres and there is no other option but to remove all of it.' Said Greg
Greg was the lead engineer, and I had no idea when I could trust him, he was a sly old bugger at the best of times, and he always seemed to get what he wanted. I gulped at the prospect of being nude but completely hairless was another thing. I was shameless about being unshaven during the voyage and I had much more pressing matters to attend to at the best of times. I looked at the assortment of modern laser shaving devices on the table before me, and I had no idea how to proceed.
'When you are ready, Joan.' Said Greg
What he really meant was, he wanted me to hurry up and get undressed. There would have been no reason for me to falter if someone else was in charge, but his voice always sent shivers down my spine.
'I may not be wearing my badge in a minute but don't go forgetting who is in charge here.' I said
'I would not dare overstep my bounds.' Said Greg
'Then we will leave the shaving to the women and have all the men preparing the astro gel suit.' I demanded
Greg stifled his look of dismay and ordered the men to follow him, he would get to see me naked soon enough, but it would be on my terms.
Underneath the captain's jumpsuit I wore my comfort clothes, a simple white singlet, and a pair of old sweatpants. I had never worn a bra on the voyage, it was a complete waste of time to pretend I needed the support. Instead, I had grown accustomed to letting the crew see the faint rise of my puffy marshmallow nipples. I did not mind being naked in front of my friends to a reasonable extent, the bothersome part was the idea of being watched live by a thousand hungry crew members. Their last memory would be of their vulnerable captain failing to save their lives.
I pretended to care about having a sense of decency long enough to make everyone else feel uncomfortable, and the female engineering crew melted before me as I tested the extent of their moral judgement. I took one sweeping motion over my head and before anyone had the chance to blink, I wiggled my hips and let the sweatpants fall to the ground. There was a moment of shock where the crew was expecting me to be wearing more than two items of clothing. I had no threads left and allowed the women of the crew to admire my fair bush.
'The process will go faster if you let us help.' Said Gala.
Laser hair removal of the future was a painless ordeal and come in a variety of handheld devices. The Six women entered my personal space and began shaving me all at once. I was glad to see that my best friend, Gala Armstrong had taken the initiative and dedicated herself the job of clearing my pubic region. She shaved back my delicate little garden to reveal my neat, voluptuous pussy and she stared in awe.
'How come mine doesn't look like that? You bitch!' said Gala.
It looked as though it was sculpted for a chapel in the heart of Rome and all the eyes had shifted towards my hips. A frazzled head of dirty blonde curls dropped to the ground around me but none of the other hair worried me as much as the pubic area. When there was nothing left to hide behind, Gala mouthed the word sorry, and I made an awkward closed lip smile back.
'Let's get on with it, we have a ship to save here.' I said
I took back control, I saw my captains badge lying in my pile of clothing and knew I did not have to wear it to be in charge.