In high school, I was painfully shy. My hormones were raging, but I was so convinced that I was more naive than everyone else, I couldn't get up the courage to ask a girl out on a date. I watched as other more confident boys walked with their arms around girls, easily talked to them and even pushed them around in what I considered disrespectful ways. I just knew they were more confident because someone had taught them the "secrets" of attraction, sexuality and relationships. They must have had older brothers, cousins, or even friends that explained the "real" facts of life.
I made a point of keeping myself fit, my complexion clear and my hair in style in the hopes that some girl would take pity on me and make the first move. Of course a few did, but I was so convinced that they were setting me up to make fun of me that I rejected their offers straight out. I never went to parties to which I was invited. I never went to school competitions or events. I just stayed away from everyone.
Looking back on it, my one saving grace was my desire to learn as much as I could about sex, girls and relationships. Much of what I read was airy-fairy crap that I knew was anything but accurate, but I did find a few very promising tidbits. I grew to learn that there are huge differences between boys and girls with respect to their desires in a relationship, but there are a lot of exceptions that make the void blurry. There are women who like sex as much as men, and there are men who have a need to be loved and supported as much as women. The trick is finding someone who is compatible; that's the hard part.
One other thing that came out of all my reading and studying was a lot of what is commonly referred to as porn. For some reason, our society has labeled porn as evil and unacceptable; something to be abolished and removed from existence. What I learned was that porn has been around as far back as biblical times. The Bible has stories of kings and queens having sex with their maids and servants, with their children, with their in-laws and many times with an audience. God even sanctioned many of these couplings, yet they are considered evil and deviant today.
Even reading the story of Sodom and Gomorrah, God got mad because of the raping and forcing of sex on people that weren't willing or old enough. Sure, people like to pull out some of the other things that were going on, like prostitution and swinging, but these have been going on for thousands of years before and after Sodom and Gomorrah, and God hasn't been upset about it.
In the end, I gained a lot of knowledge about sex and pornography. I discovered that I knew more about fetishes, fantasies, adult toys and human sexual anatomy than anybody I knew, adult or otherwise. Researching the web brought me to many porn sites and to many erotic story sites, and I had many a marathon masturbation session while learning of other people's fantasies and fetishes. I also learned that I had a real exhibitionism streak in me that my shyness kept me from ever revealing - until college.
There was a small, private college in Southern California that I read about while doing my human sexuality research. It was supposed to be a very progressive school in the area of Human Sexuality. The school was made up of only about five thousand students, which was fairly evenly distributed between males and females. They required an entrance exam, which was purported as extremely difficult, a physical exam and a photograph, the latter requirements to be performed the first day.
Months before high school graduation, I took the online entrance exam and received a 98% on it. It was mostly questions about human sexual anatomy and a number of questions on fetishes and social morals. I received an e-mail from them congratulating me on such a high grade and encouraging me to apply there. According to the e-mail, I was among the small 2% of people in the United States that was so well informed on sex and human sexual behavior. What they didn't know was that all my knowledge was from books (and the Internet), and none of it was from actual practice. This made me very nervous about going there.
I decided that the only way I was going to break out of my shell was to just "do it!" After applying and being accepted to Perineum College, I told my parents that I was going to Remington College, which is nearby, and headed to Southern California.
On the train, I read the college brochure they had sent me from cover to cover. They had degree programs in Psychology, Sociology, Animal Husbandry, Human Sexuality and Biology. Their Human Sexuality program had only recently been added to their curriculum, and it was soon to be accredited. They did warn in the brochure that students entering this program would need to be open-minded, comfortable with their bodies and their own sexuality, and most importantly, healthy. I figured the last part was verified by the physical we would have to have. The morning of general registration, I was a bundle of nerves. How was I going to do this? What was I getting myself into? What if I was rejected for some reason?
I have to admit, the gymnasium where they held registration calmed me, which was surprising. I think it was the confused look I saw on all the faces around me. We were all freshmen, and I got the distinct impression I wasn't the only one that was nervous and confused. Of course only a few of the students around me were going into Human Sexuality, but it still put me at ease - that is until Winter introduced herself to me.
"Hi, my name is Winter," she said boldly. "You look new here."
Oh my God! If she's a freshman, I've died and gone to heaven. This girl looked anything but wintry. She was a blond goddess from the local area; Southern California, or so I thought. She was about five foot four, had sparkling blue eyes and the most golden tan I had ever seen on a girl. Her blond hair was long, straight and flowed over her shoulders to just below the swells of her breasts. She was dressed in a pair of jeans and a crop-top that showed plenty of golden cleavage.
After reading what I had about how insulting it is to stare at women, especially their breasts, I had to consciously force myself to look her in the eyes. My internal drive wanted to scan her entire body and linger at the most heart-throbbing points, but I managed to overcome it. I stammered and stuttered, something that happened a lot when I was really nervous, and introduced myself. "Hi, uh... my name is... uh... Greg."
We shook hands, and I could feel electricity shoot up my arm from her touch. I thought I might collapse in a faint.
"I'm a junior here, and I volunteered to help out new students," she explained. "You looked especially lost, so I thought I'd help you through the registration process. Would you like that?"
"Oh, wow! That would be great!" I said, still a bit jittery.
"So, what are you going to major in?" she asked as she took my registration packet from my hands.
"Uh..." Suddenly, I was embarrassed to admit it.
"Human Sexuality, huh?" she surmised. I don't know if she guessed it from my hesitation, or if she saw it on my registration forms. Either way, her face suddenly lit up. "That is so cool!"
"Uh, why?" I asked.
"That's what I'm majoring in," she explained. "I'm a lab assistant for HS102, which you should be taking the second semester. We'll be seeing a lot more of each other when you take that lab." She giggled, and I wondered if she meant it literally or figuratively.
Her confidence was comforting. We still had to stand in line, but she helped me to get all my classes planned out for the next two semesters. With Winter's help, my paperwork was all done correctly, so there was no going back and filling it out a second time.
"Holy, crap!" she said as she went through my paperwork. "So you're Greg Morrison! I heard about you from the admissions office. You got the highest grade on your entrance exam ever recorded. Wow! I was hoping to meet you sometime. Maybe you and I could hook up after you get settled and all."
I almost fell over. I wondered if she knew what "hook up" means in today's culture. According to my findings, when a girl says she has "hooked up" with someone once or twice, it usually means she's had sex with them once or twice. There's no way Winter was proposing we have sex sometime.
