Things felt like they were moving fast all of a sudden, and I liked it. There have been some seriously low points in the past year and I wasn't going to deny myself this piece of mind and freedom to re-explore myself. I was having fun and figuring out how to build myself a business, an unexpected one, but none the less I was doubling down.
The week that followed that first online performance was something special. I think my pure excitement and naivety put me in a uniquely appealing and sexy category. I really had no idea what I was doing and the best advice I can give a girl is to do your homework! Look into some of the most successful women on various sites, subscribe to them, learn from them. Although I was initially inspired by another woman online, I performed without any knowledge of how things really work or what I should be doing to attract not only fans, but customers. It's the cold hard truth, but the sex industry is a big industry and it's not always all fun and games. That being said I have zero regrets.
"Mom who are you talking to?" My son Peter interrupted my day dreaming.
"Was I saying something out loud?" Laughing nervously.
"Yes, but I couldn't hear you.. You've kind of been acting weird lately mom, are you ok?"
"Actually ya Pete, I am. For the first time in a long time." I smiled and hugged him quick.
"Well that's good I guess."
"Are you?" I looked him up and down.
"Ya ya Mom you know I'm good." He laughed it off.
He understood my humour some how, just like his father had. I knew I was making a funny face and being silly, but he was a good kid and it always made him smile.
"Can you set the table please?" I asked nicely.
"What are we having?" Pete asked.
"Tacos! .. and Tequila!"
Peter rolled his eyes and started to set the table. Maybe I was being a little over the top but after the day I'd had a margarita wouldn't hurt! It gave me some nostalgic feelings of being back in Mexico when I was younger ... it reminded me of my daughter Penny and her father who live there ... but that's a story for another day.
"Mom, can I have one too?" Pete asked politely.
"Oh.. well I don't see why not, you're old enough now to handle it I think!"
We sat at the table and had a really great meal, and before I knew it I was spent. Completely exhausted after we cleaned up, I told Peter I was heading to bed. As much as I wanted to go back on cam again I knew I needed some sleep. Instead, I kind of tossed and turned that night, excited and scared about what I was doing. Who was watching? Who was tipping? Would someone find out? I'd be horrified if Joyce somehow found out and refused to be friends with me. There were a million thoughts racing through my mind.
I got up to get some water in the middle of the night, wearing one of Paul's old button ups that I liked to sleep in. When Paul was here I'd sleep completely naked most of the time, I'd never been able to sleep any other way since I was a teenager. Somehow his shirt made me feel like he was still holding me at night, his arm around my chest and the other just below my breasts across my stomach.
Walking down the hallway passed Peter's door, I could hear his computer playing a movie or something but didn't think anything of it at first. Once I got to the kitchen and had a drink, my eye caught the time - 3AM.
"Wow." I thought.
"Pete is still up??"
I was a little surprised but figured maybe he had just left it on and passed out. I walked back toward my room and stopped to listen this time by his door, but there was nothing. No sounds of his computer or a movie, not even snoring.
"Had he heard me get up?"
It kind of worried me, it wasn't like him to be up so late but I guess I needed to accept my son was getting older. He was practically a man and it was the weekend anyways. I realized it was probably my own fault for not paying attention to him growing up right in front of me over the past year. Losing your Father is going to make you grow up really quick and I just hoped Pete was okay, as any Mother would. I brushed it off and got back into bed, finally falling asleep again with only positive thoughts about how I was going to get my son through college. Hopefully I would get some more time to myself and be able to do a show. Smiling to myself thinking how I was a performer now, not even believing it was true, I drifted off.
***
Waking up the next morning I made myself some coffee as usual and decided to sip it in bed. I scrolled down on some articles I had bookmarked on my iPhone 4. Mostly recipes and some teacher's union newsletter that I really had to push myself to read. My mind was elsewhere and I was aching to get back to Paul's office and on the computer. I was horny as hell and I couldn't wait to show off again... It's funny how suddenly insatiable I felt, from 0 - 100 within a day. My whole body was hot and I needed to share it with other horny people out there who wanted to see what I had. I couldn't even imagine what the day would bring, my mind was again racing all over the place, mostly in the gutter.
Finally I heard Pete get up and start banging around in the Kitchen, making a total mess I'm sure.
"How could I get him out of the house today?" I wondered.
I got dressed and met him sitting at the table eating toast. He was in a t-shirt and shorts, slippers and his hair was basically standing on end.
"Well, well, good morning young man!" I smiled.
"Morning Mom." He sighed.
"Up late?" I asked.
"Ya just a little.. there was a good documentary I was watching."
"Documentary huh? About what?" I was suspicious.
"Drugs!" He laughed sarcastically.
"Ok, ok, but if it's any good can you send it to me?"
"Sure thing Mom but I don't know if it would be for you, it was about colleges."
"Now why wouldn't I be interested in that? I hope you're going to include me in your decision about where to go."
"Oh.. well ya.. I mean .. I didn't know that I was going?" His tone carried off.
"I know things have been tight around here since your dad passed away, but there is money that was tied up before that will be available for your school Pete. I don't know if it will be enough to send you to Harvard, but it will be enough to go somewhere nearby."
"Thanks Mom, that's great. I don't have a problem going to community college, I'm just excited to get out of high school to be honest."
"I don't blame you, you'll have a better time in college I'm sure of it!" Rubbing his messy hair.
I poured myself some fresh coffee and sat with him for a bit, hoping to get the scoop on what he'd be up to during the day. It was almost noon and I quickly realized he wasn't going anywhere. Luckily for me he was a bit of a hermit and just holed up in his room for hours at a time playing video games or watching documentaries. After his door shut I casually made my way to Paul's office and closed the door behind me. I took a deep breath, knowing I was being risky trying to get on cam down the hallway from my son's room. In a feeble attempt at acting normal I started to clean up the room, while also thinking it would be good to do for viewers sake. Most of the other models I had seen had a sheet and lights up, probably going for a more intimate feel than the office I was in.
Once I had the room tidy, I wasted no more time and logged on to the cam website. There didn't seem to be many models online. I felt a bit worried that my amazing experience yesterday was going to be a one off and I'd never be able to make this into a legitimate income. It was a chance I had to take and had nothing to lose at this point anyways. So I clicked broadcast.
It took a few minutes but I was greeted by some nice men who complimented me on my outfit. I had another one of Paul's shirts on, rolled up and tied in the front, with a white tank top underneath. They could see my cleavage through the top few buttons and my bare legs that were crossed over, wearing fairly tight and short shorts. I made sure the camera would only show me from the neck down and hoped that my state of undress would entice people to come to my room. I was actually enjoying just chatting with the boys who were in my room first. I made a couple of them moderators and before long the room had close to 100 people in it. I felt my face start to flush and my whole body heat up again with anticipation and lust.
"Our favourite MILF returns!"
"Hey sexy."
"Damn you're so hot."
"How are you today baby?"
The usual boys being boys started to dominate the chat and I kind of sat back for a minute to tease myself. The room seemed to notice I was ready for some attention and a few tips kept me rubbing my hard nipples through the cotton shirt. I knew they could see the dark circle outlines and shape of my nipples poking out, just barely enough to wonder what was there. My mind was thinking of every detail as my hands had a mind of their own, tied to my libido and making myself move closer to orgasm entirely too quickly!
"I'm so freaking horny!" I typed.
It was a pretty typical response and a clearly obvious statement but I felt like the guys would like to hear that and if there were any women, they may relate. I really just felt like sharing, there was an openness that was turning me on and it was intoxicating having people fawn over my every move. They ate up my body and let me know how hot it made them to see me. It was strangely intimate at the same time and I was getting lost in taking small tips to keep going, feeling like we were all going to cum together. My logical mind decided to kick in and I remembered why I was here and that I needed to prolong this show before I got to the grand finale.
I decided to take a minute and look around the site at other women, noticing they also had menus up and goals to reach, games to play and leaderboards of their highest tippers. There was more to this business than I thought and figured I would just have to wing it until I figured more out. Just as I was having a look at my own profile, there was different "ding" sound that I'd never heard before. A screen popped up with a new message window, so I clicked to see what it was, hoping it wasn't a virus!
"Hi there, how are you? I know you don't know me, but maybe that's the best part ... I'm a man with certain tastes and find you to be exactly what I've been looking for. If you're looking for a bigger pay day and interested in finding out more, please message me any time. Sincerely, A."
A bit confused, I looked into his profile first before responding. "Ass_Man", I rolled my eyes. He sounded less douchey in his message, so I thought I'd go ahead and see what he wanted.
"Hi Ass_Man, thanks for the message but I'm pretty new and not sure I'm what you're looking for. What did you have in mind? What kind of pay day are we talking here?"
