Since last summer, I don't look at hikers in the same way any more. I wonder what's underneath all that outerwear.
A friend I hadn't seen in years called up to say she was planning to walk a section of the ...... Way, near where I live, and she wondered if she could stay over the night before. I said I'd do a bit of the walk with her.
When she arrived, we were soon as easy as if we'd last seen each other 20 minutes ago rather than 20 years back. But she did take me aback a little now and then. She always did like to talk about her sex life and she'd added a lot of experience to the considerable amount she already had when I last saw her. She was just starting her third rather interesting marriage. I was just coming out of my first rather dull one. I felt a bit old-fashioned, listening to her talk about how she trapped her men with crotchless panties and blow jobs and so on. But all the sex talk did put a bit of electricity in the air when we started on the wine in the evening, sat on either side of my small kitchen table and sparkling at each other. I was suddenly aware of her as a body and I hadn't had one to touch for some time. And I realised, which I never had before, that her relationship with me was a slightly flirtatious one. She told me a couple of times I wouldn't be single for long, with my eyes and tits.
There was a literally "steamy" moment before we went to bed. She went for a bath but she'd been ages and I needed my toothbrush. I knocked and got no answer and I was just a bit worried, so I pushed the door open slowly and went in when there was no protest. She was lying in the bath, with an iPod in the soap rack, her headphones in her ears and her eyes closed. Her big breasts were above the water. And just below the surface, I could see her fingers diddling in the rosy cleft of her shaven pussy. I got my toothbrush and turned to go but she opened her eyes and caught mine at the last minute. She winked. I smiled. I went to bed.
You'll be expecting me to tell you about the door creaking open in the night. And if it had, who knows? But it didn't.
The morning had a fine drizzle on it and we dressed up in our breathable waterproofs before we drove up to the hills. You know what those garments are like for zips and hidden pockets but hers seemed to have twice the usual ration. She said her new man had paid for her to have them custom-made, so even all togged up, you could see her curves.
As we walked, she pulled a beautiful little pair of binoculars from one of her pockets, and gave them to me to try. They were tremendous. You could look at flowers from a hundred yards away and more or less smell them.
We were soon warm from the walking. And we got hotter as the conversation picked up where it had left off.
She told me about learning oral sex with her first husband and anal with the second. The third was into toys, she told me, with relish. Before she came away, they had been out to buy a new vibrator for her overnight bag. She unzipped another pocket and pulled it out to show me - a thick silver bullet. I laughed and asked why she was taking it on a walk.
"You never know when you might want a good frigging," she said. I enjoyed her potty mouth.
