I hadn't been back in years. I was sure you had forgotten that I even existed. When I landed and started to think about all the people that I wanted to see, you topped the list. I had no idea if you still lived in the area or if you had a boyfriend or anything. I got off the plane and hit up my friend that was supposed to be picking me up from the airport. He said he was going to be about half an hour late, so I sat down and started to see if I could find you on Facebook or something.
You hadn't blocked me, so that was a good sign. You added me back within twenty minutes or so. The whole car ride back to my friend's place I flipped through your photos while I tried to focus on the conversation my friend was trying to hold with me. Turns out, you're single now. That prick of a boyfriend you had in college finally fucked up to the point where you left him. Good for me. You're still here too. Another score for me. I just wanted to see you, to see how you were doing...I just didn't even know how to start the conversation.
Then you texted me. The number wasn't in my phone, but I knew it was you. You said you wanted to see me. I told my friend to turn around and head toward Carlsbad. He was a little surprised, but he obliged me. I looked out the window at the water to my left and watched the sun slowly make its descent across the azure sky toward the water stretched out before me like a large undulating tarp. I thought of those days that we had spent together on the beach when we were freshmen. I thought of the times that we had spent looking at the sunset and wondered if you would remember them as vividly as I do.
I told my friend what streets to take to get to your house. I didn't know if you meant you wanted to see me immediately, but you were always somewhat spontaneous. I thought it would be a good idea to show up at your front door and take you somewhere, even though I didn't have a car. My friend reluctantly left me there without waiting to see if you were home. I told him that I would let him know later if I was going to need him to pick me up. I walked up to the doorway and knocked. I waited about thirty seconds and heard nothing inside the house. I knocked again. Nothing. Fuck me.
And this is where we catch up to real time. I'm sitting on your front porch alone and it's getting dark out now. I can feel the air getting colder by the minute, even though "cold" is a relative term and I can't really justify calling any sort of weather in Southern California "cold" unless I'm on top of a mountain. I text you to see where you're at. Just as I send it, I see your Jeep pull into the neighborhood. You get halfway up the driveway and stop. You don't even turn off the car. Our eyes meet and you look surprised for a second, then you beckon for me to come over. I get up and walk over to your window.
"Hey Julia."
"Hey Dan, what's up?"
"Not much, just thought that I'd drop in since you said you wanted to see me."
"Well, you're in luck. My friends just canceled on me and now I have no plans. Hop in."
I walk around to the passenger side and slide into the car.
"Where are we going?"
"You'll see."
I just sit back and let you drive. It's been a while since I haven't really worried about my destination and it feels good to just let someone else drive me somewhere. We talk about college and relationships and all the stupid shit we've seen and done over the past four years. We talk about job opportunities and how our music tastes have changed or stayed the same. We talk about how much we missed California while we were away at our respective schools, and I keep reiterating how lucky you are that you got to come back to it whenever you were on break.
We go and get In-N-Out and you park by the beach. We sit there and talk for hours, long after our burgers and fries are done, and just listen to the waves caress the shore about a hundred yards in front of us. It's so quiet, so peaceful. We even just sit in silence for a couple of minutes and try to hear the water and sand make love.
"So! What do you wanna do now?"
"Well Julia, I'd really like to swim but I know that the water is so cold that I might lose my balls."
"True...but if you really want to swim, there's always that pool by my house."
The pool. Fuck. You had to say it. That hot tub had connotations inside my head that made my stomach squirm and a little bit of blood rushed into my cock at the thought of your body after you got up out of the hot tub to jump into the pool...I could see it as clearly as if we were there...the bottom half of your hair is wet...your blue swimsuit cradling your perfect tits like a pair of man's hands admiring them...your wet skin steaming against the cool night air...
"Ummmmm..." I struggle to find words.
"It's okay, we don't have to. It was just a suggestion."
"YES!" I blurt out. It startles you.
"Sorry, didn't mean to yell it. I just lost my train of thought for a second."
"Okay. Do you have a swimsuit?"
"Nope."
"Well, you can just go in your shorts, no?"
"Yeah, that's fine with me. Let's head on back then."
"Okay."
You smile at me and turn the key, then put the car in reverse. My mind starts going in a million different directions. We just talked for hours without a pause and now I'm drawing a blank. I can't think of a single thing to say because my mind is replaying that day that we spent at the pool when I came to visit in the current context. Your hips swaying back and forth as you walk seductively toward the pool...your boobs bouncing slightly with each step...
"Are you okay?"
"What? Oh. Yes, Julia. I'm fine. Just a little tired."
"Thinking about me in a swimsuit?" you say with a wink and a sneer.
Does she know? Is it that obvious that I'm having flashbacks? I chuckle slightly and turn on the radio.
We drive up to your house and I get out of the car.
"I'll just wait here."
"Oh come on, it's freezing out here. Come inside and stay warm."
"You forget that I went to school in Maine and Wisconsin."
