"Oh you're not going to wear those tatty old things again are you, Dani?"
That's how it had started, my wife and I were preparing for our summer holiday and the subject of new clothes had cropped up. Of course like any woman my wife saw the annual holiday as an opportunity to refresh her wardrobe, whilst I being a typical man was happy with the same old clothes year in, year out. I'd just confirmed as usual that I didn't need anything as the swimming costume I'd worn previously would be fine. My wife seems didn't agree.
"They make you look so old and you know, Bermuda shorts to your calves is just no longer fashionable. We'll go into town on Saturday and get you something more up to date." And that was the end of the conversation and how I found myself trailing my wife in the large department store on Saturday morning.
I wasn't paying particular attention to where we were going so I was surprised when we stopped in the middle of the ladieswear. A woman in her late thirties spotted my wife and walked straight over.
"Good morning Linda," she began, clearly she knew my wife but then that didn't surprise me with the amount of shopping my wife regularly brought home. "How can we help you today?"
"Oh it's not for me Laura, it's for my husband Dani today." She waved in my general direction.
"Hello," I mumbled.
"Pleased to meet you at last, Dani." Laura's grip was firm as she shook my hand. "And what is it you need today?"
"He needs new swimwear for our holiday," my wife piped up immediately giving me no chance to speak for myself.
"Oh, no problem, what sort of holiday is it? Beach or pool?"
"Both," my wife replied quickly. "He needs both, he hasn't had a new pair all the years we've been married so I think it's time for something new and more in keeping with the modern look."
"Indeed," agreed Laura. "Well we have a large range here in store. What size are you, Dani?" She looked at me expectantly, her eyes sparkled and I caught her tongue running over her lips subconsciously.
"Um, I'm not really sure," I admitted. I worked out regularly so wasn't overweight, one reason I'd been able to hold on to my old wardrobe for so long.
"Oh, no problem. Linda, why don't I get one of the juniors to take you over to the menswear department and show you the latest stock and in the meantime I'll get Dani measured up."
"Oh, thank you Laura, I knew I could count on you," my wife smiled as Laura motioned for one of the young blonde assistants to come over.
"Ginny," she began as the girl who was only in her early twenties approached. "Could you go with Linda to the menswear and help her pick out some suitable swimwear for her husband here? He'll need some beachwear and something more appropriate for the pool too. Thanks."
With that my wife was led away whilst Laura took my arm and escorted me towards the changing area.
"Let's get you comfy in here, then Dani and I'll measure you up."
"Um, Laura, shouldn't we be going to the men's changing rooms?"
"Oh it's fine, Dani, we do have some curtains you know. Anyway, I'll be looking after you." We entered the women's changing room and Laura pushed me into the first cubicle, turning briefly to tug at the curtain doorway. I'd noticed a couple of ladies in the changing area standing in front of mirrors admiring new jumpers, both of them turned and stared at us as we entered, but said nothing when they realised Laura was there.
"Let's take these off then," Laura began unbuttoning my shirt as I stood almost helpless in the small cubicle. It only took her seconds and then she pulled it down my back and off my arms. She quickly folded it and placed it neatly on a small stool before turning her attention to my trousers.
"Um, I'm sure I can," I began but Laura was quick, she undid my belt and fly and quickly bent down taking my trousers with her. Before I could say more they were puddled around my ankles and with Laura kneeling between my feet only my threadbare boxers separated her face from my genitals.
"Oops, silly me," Laura laughed as she tried to remove my trousers. "Should have taken your shoes and socks off first really, shouldn't I? Never mind, sit yourself on that chair." She all but pushed me into the seat in the corner of the cubicle. Once sat she lifted one foot at a time and quickly removed my shoes and socks and then pulled off my trousers. She stood and again neatly folded my trousers with expert hands while looking at me and smiling. Her gaze wandered to my underwear, oh gosh I hope they weren't revealing too much I thought. Once my trousers were neatly placed on top of my shirt I thought that Laura would be able to measure my waist.