Girl Talk 5: Suzie
Copyright: The Confession Club 3/12/09
This series is based on interviews I did quite a few years back with women who had modelled for me, or were private clients when I worked as a photographer. Their words have been, 'edited' but only to remove features of continuous speech such as, 'um, ah, eh,' and repetitions of partial phrases which is common in everyday speech.
The Confession Club: Suzie's story is a little different from the other "Girl Talk" stories I have featured so far. She's not a private client; neither is she a model, just a lovely young woman I became acquainted with through photography. A twenty-six-year-old Chinese girl, petite and pretty, wearing glasses and looking very studious, sweet, and innocent. The lesson here is, don't judge a book by its cover.
A few years back I was doing a fair bit of 'event' photography, and by that, I mean special events, sports clubs, presentations, proms and such like. I photographed Suzie at a sports club three years in a row, and though we weren't exactly friends, we would stop and have a chat if we bumped into each other in town.
One day about four years ago I saw her standing outside the local library. We started talking and the subject soon came around to photography, which after all, was the reason I knew her in the first place. She asked if I was still doing the photos for the sports club and I told her I was, but hadn't seen her there last time, and she explained that she had to give up through pressure of work.
Somehow or other the conversation got around to modelling, and I explained that although I did the sports clubs, etc, my real work was mainly in glamour photography. She seemed surprised, not that I was a glamour photographer, but that I ever managed to get models in a place small city like ours. I told her there were plenty of women willing to model for me, but I was always looking for possible new ones, and it was just a case of asking. I quickly added that I thought she would make a great model, and I'd always wanted to photograph her. I could see she was flattered, and when she started asking more questions about it, I suggested we go and sit in my car, which was parked just in front of the library.
In the privacy of the car, I explained fully what would be involved, and she listened attentively, but although she appeared to be really interested in what I was saying, when I finished talking, she politely declined to model for me. I had a strong feeling that she really meant, 'yes' but for some reason, possibly family or work, she couldn't. I tried a little persuasion, told her that I knew she would love it, and she actually agreed that it sounded very exciting, and she was very excited at the thought, but she still refused. I can be gently persistent, but I'm not pushy, so I expressed my disappointment, and told her that if she ever changed her mind, to give me a call, and handed her my business card. I thought it was over - I had tried my best, but it was not to be.
She opened the car door and was about to get out, but with one foot on the pavement she hesitated, turned and looked at me. She said nothing for a few moments, and I could see she was really struggling, thinking about something. I thought she was going to change her mind, especially when she closed the car door again, and turned to me.
'Do you do fetish photography?' she asked. Well, talk about surprised, because that was the last thing I would have expected from little miss sweet and innocent. I could see that it had taken a lot for her to trust me with her secret; she was really nervous and tense, even shaking a little. She visibly relaxed when I assured her that what she said here with me was absolutely private, and to answer her question, I
was
interested in fetish photography. I started asking her questions about it and she was remarkably open and talkative. I think just having someone she could talk to about her interest was a release for her.
CC: How long have you been into the fetish scene?
Suzie: I'm not actually in any 'scene.' I don't think there's much of one in Aberdeen, (she was wrong) but if there is, I don't know where it is. I've just been aware of that side of myself since I was young, but have always ignored, or rather, repressed it until recently.
CC: Well, I don't get the feeling that you've got an assertive, dominant personality, so I'd guess you're submissive.
Suzie: Yes, I'm very submissive.
CC: Do you have fetish type leather, rubber, or PVC clothes?
Suzie: No, I'd like to have some of that, just to see what it feels and looks like on me, but I can't afford it on my wages.
CC: What do you do then?
Suzie: Bondage. I love to be tied up; the feeling of being utterly helpless, with all my 'bits' exposed, and at the mercy of the person who tied me up makes me indescribably horny. The thought of being used and abused sexually really gets me hot.
CC: Please tell me you do this with someone you know and trust!!
Suzie: No, I've done it with a couple of guys I meet through the lonely-hearts page in the local newspaper, but not at the same time - separately.
CC: Are you crazy? You could be seriously hurt or worse - please tell me you won't do that again!
Suzie: Yes... I know that now, and you're right, but I was just so desperate to meet someone that I suppose I took a really big risk. By the time that I met them they weren't complete strangers anyway because I talked to them regularly on the phone for a couple of weeks before we met. At first it was just talking, but within about ten minutes the conversation took a sexual turn, and I got very excited. I was breathing a bit heavily, and it must have been obvious I was very turned on. One thing led to another, and I ended up taking my panties off, playing with myself, and describing what I was doing. Phone-sex - it was exciting, but just a matter of time before I agreed to meet one of them.
CC: How long after the initial advert did this take place?
Suzie: Um... about two to three weeks. I was talking to one of the guys on the phone, and getting pretty hot and bothered, when he suggested coming over, and really giving me a 'good seeing to.' I was hesitant, but when he described what he was going to do, I knew I wanted him to do it, so told him where I lived. He was at the door within twenty minutes. He carried a large briefcase, so I asked him what was in it. He told me it was ropes to tie me up and a few other little items I might appreciate. I was already wet and horny, but when he opened the case to show me the ropes, clamps, handcuffs and whips, I suddenly felt a little frisson of fear, which only made me wetter.
He made me stand in the middle of the floor with my legs slightly apart and told me to look at the floor. He said I looked good like that - very submissive. He walked round me a few times as if inspecting a cow at market, and then he began to undress me until all I had on was a pair of black hold-up stockings. I noticed when he slipped my panties down over my thighs that the crotch was glistening with my wetness. Standing close behind me he reached round and cupped my breasts in his hands. Like many Chinese women I have small breasts, but I also have very big nipples, which he liked. He pulled on them in a 'milking motion,' pulling them out, away from my body.